INSECURE WHY?  

RUredE4Karma 33F
14 posts
2/23/2005 7:30 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

INSECURE WHY?

SO its fuckin 7 in the morning i have been up all nite pondering this one question? y do we get insecure around the people we love? example....my ex boyfriend has this idea in his head that when hes bored its alright to dump a girl(me) treat her like shit go fucking around and when hes tired of that go back to what hes comfortable with (me). I know i know dont say anything i already know its MY FAULT becus i took him back in the first place....but lets not get off subject so......hes back again and u would think that he would not easily get insecure sense i begged him and pleated everyday for him to come back for like 4-5 months. not only that but i only screwed one person while he was out screwing my co-workers and etc.sorry im venting now ill stop......however he still doesnt realize how deep my love is for him because he questions everything still. he swears im fucking someone if i dont pick up my phone or if i just want time to be alone (so i can post blogs about him)...anyways i just dont understand what i have to do to show if i really do love him i meen seriously if i had a choice and love wasnt well....love than i would choice to screw him over like he did me but my heart cant and i get insecure too but thats becuase i have reasons to like i wonder if ill wake up alone? anyways someone tell me what the hell is really going on here and more importantly whats really NOT going on here?


rm_chunter69 42M
3 posts
2/23/2005 9:10 am

its not you, he wants the best of both worlds. To have his cake and eat it to. You are too attractive a woman to be treated like that. With you at home, I'd never leave. Keep your chin up, Mr Wright is right around the corner!!


SigEp4U 43M

2/23/2005 9:27 am

Well sometimes people do a thing called transfer... they transfer there guilt and feelings onto other people. Meaning that sense your boyfriend has been unfaithful and acted in this way... he assumes everyone else is like that as well and that creates his own insecurities... it's a vicious cycle and unless he can fix himself he will always struggle with these issues.

If you were married I would say go see a counselor and they could help you with these issues... but since he is just a boyfriend I believe that any counselor that you went to see would be more interested in dealing with "Why your hanging onto someone like this"

Now... take this for what it is worth... hate me if you will but you asked what is going on here and what is not going on here right?

What I wonder is do you really love him or do you love him because you are scared to wake up alone? Don't get me wrong... I know what it's like to be scared to wake up alone, to keep hanging on well past the edge of sanity... but I recognize that about myself and it is something that I can own and then work on until I get to the point where my insecurities do not put me in places where I don't want to be.

So do you love him? My definition of love is... Love is a choice... love is saying that you will love an imperfect person as if they were perfect.

With that being said... I would think that if you do love your boyfriend then there should be ways that you can help to reduce his anxiety about all of this. Bascally good communication... just make sure that he's meeting your needs as well...

I mean what is he doing to assure you that your not going to wake up one morning alone?

Take it for what it's worth... hopefully there is something here that will make sense to you...

SigEp4U


cappacinoflava 39M
17 posts
2/23/2005 11:41 am

u jus need sum one 2 hit it right..luv u right..then ull get it!


niceguy4cutegirl 40M

2/24/2005 5:44 pm

SigEp4U, what great advice. I echo that, sounds like he's feeling guilty for his wandering heart, and that you two need to work on communicating your hopes and problems better. Best of luck to you two!


luvtechnique 38M
2 posts
2/26/2005 1:02 am

My advice is...the guy cheated once, who's to say he wont do it again? sorry its so blunt but the odds are he's a cheater...look, you are beautiful, youthful and obviously smart (you are here arent you? lol). There are a gazillion guys here who probably jerk off to your pics. No need to be insecure. The hard part is to weed out the wierdos

a


Ovakyl 37M

3/4/2005 3:14 am

It can be tough if you are in love, I have a friend going through something similar, my advice is to get rid of him...


23funwithme 38M

3/4/2005 8:34 pm

Well, maybe you should communicate better. If her really loves you and you are able to tell him exactly how you feel than it will all work and you wont feel so scared of losing what you love so much. If you dont have the guts to communicate than you will always be scared and loving someone for the wrong reasons, because love should be mutual ultimately.


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