First Experience with a DOM  

15 posts
5/16/2006 9:42 am

Last Read:
6/6/2006 1:25 am

First Experience with a DOM


The story i had here about the first time i was with a DOM was totally frabricated. When I out it on here it was part of playing this whole "role" of a slutty Sub that can be used abused and humiliated when ever and by who ever. I never took the time out to look into this lifestyle. So my apolgize to those of you that do enjoy this life stlye that i may offened by this story. Second apologies goes to those of you that read it and took the time to reach out to me and being concerned. I took you all for granted and that wasn't right; so i'm sorry. I am uncovering this fraud for two reason or shall i say two people the sassy lil number that "wouldn't let me off so easily" (u know who u are)and my cleveland peep. You two kept it so real that i had no choice but to return it. But also, I want to continue meeting new and exciting people on this site. I wasn't kidding wheni said that this place is like family (an unexpected surprise), but delightful in the same token. I have edited my profile to better describe what i am looking for. Sooooo what do you AdultFriendFinder family............ Will yall have me still??????

rm_PeanutJackie 37F
1286 posts
5/16/2006 10:49 am

This does not sound like a pleasurable experience to me at all. And this so-called Dom sounds like he needs to get his head checked. What kind of Dom would do this to a submissive on their first meeting? Not any Dom that truly would respect his submissive. At least this has been my experience over the past few months.

But hey, if you're okay with it and enjoying it, then good for you. Just be careful, please. There are many men out there who "think" they are a Dom, or are just Dominant for the wrong reasons. I hope someone always knows when you are with Him, incase something should go wrong.

I wish you the best of luck

"I am beautiful no matter what you say, words can't bring me down. So don't you bring me down today."

MamChelle 49F
1443 posts
5/16/2006 11:19 am

As i read this i have great concerns for you. This i hope is more of a fantasy story, than your reality with an actual Dom, because it sounds like this One isn't one that is going to be as concerned as most real lifestyle Dominants would normally be. See we lifestyle submissives are valuable and a real Dom would never allow this to be a first date type experience. And no scenes are done without being fully consentual, even a fantasy would be agreed and negotiated way before it occured. It concerns me on many levels. First i hope you are truely okay, because as described above is a crime. Secondly, i love this lifestyle and have been a lifestyle person for most of my life and it bothers me when persons are led to believe that this is bdsm. It is not. BDSM as a community gets a bad enough wrap. We lifestyle people would rather be honored with the stories of how loving and consentual the real lifestyle is. Real Dom/mmes are highly respectful persons skilled in and concious of the limits and needs of the sub/slaves they take on.... i wish you all the joys of being a submissive, and strongly urge you to get into contact with a local munch and or group and learn the difference in a lifestyle Dom and know that you are more valuable than what was written above. Sincere good wishes. ...and if you'd like a chat...i am occasionally in the basement at night. Chelle.

SexyRycheBabe 46F
820 posts
5/16/2006 11:33 am

Did you even discuss things like SAFE WORDS in advance? (You know, a completely irrelevant word like "oranges" that you can say to where all action stops?) What about SAFE SEX?! (You know, like a condom for when some hotel room service guy that you don't know from Adam gets to do whatever he wants with you?)

A Dom/Sub relationship is an EQUAL exchange of power between two CONSENTING adults.

I do not mean to offend you in any way but I definitely think that if you're wanting to explore BDSM some more that you become very educated in it. There might even be clubs in your local area with like-minded people. They ususally have seminars and informational meetings and things like that.

That man that you were with in the hotel room ... he wasn't a "Master." He was an angry man looking to use you for his own benefit. True Masters don't do that.

It is NOT OKAY to put yourself in harm's way for ANY reason. Esp. not some man's "reasonings".

Be smart. Be safe. Good luck

Nightguy_1961 56M
4866 posts
5/16/2006 1:51 pm

I have read your experience above and I am disgusted by this so called 'dom' and his assault on you. He is no more a Sir or Master than the ashtray that is sitting beside me here. He was nothing more than an abuser...more like a . I truly hope that you have severed any ties or contact with him.

A true Dominant (and I don't like to use that phrase 'true') would have gotten to know what it is that you want to do FIRST. If you had wanted to be taken by a stranger in a hotel room, then you and the Dom would have negotiated the scene prior to play; you would have met the other person involved, etc, etc.

A Dominant has only as much power as a submissive is willing to give. I tell people this all the time. I cannot do anything that my submissive says is 'off limits'...unless we've decided that she wants to push that limit. If it is something new, we use safe of the best safe word combos is the stop light: green means okay, yellow means slow down, red means STOP RIGHT NOW!!!

A real Dominant would never put a submissive in harm's way. If he had tried this at a play party where I was at, he would have been tossed out of the door on his ass, he would have never been invited back, and his name would be spread throughout the BDSM community that he was nothing more than an abuser. The only play he would do after that would be playing with himself.

Please remember: you did nothing wrong. You were taken in by someone who said the right things to try and get to you. If you are still interested in trying BDSM, I would suggest looking in your area for munches, which are groups of like minded people who meet for sharing of information, meet & greets. If you are comfortable around these people, then you may be invited to a play party where BDSM play takes place.

I would also suggest going online to look for some information about our Lifestyle. castlerealm , gallahadssafehaven are both good informational websites about BDSM...REAL BDSM (don't forget to put the dot com after the names or just google them).

Speaking as a Dominant with some experience, I would like to offer my apologies for what happened. I try to search out the fakes that give our lifestyl a bad name and chase them away before they cause real harm...and I'm sorry that this assclown did this to you.

MamChelle, ShayeDK, and PeanutJackie know what they are talking about and although I do not know SexyRyche, she is speaking you can take their word for it.

Please..I hope that this experience hasn't scared you away from something that we love to do. I hope that you find one who can show you how it is done correctly and one who can take you to heights of passion that you won't believe.

Take well and remember that we play Safe, Sane, & Consensual...

NG61...disappearing into the shadows...

wickedeasy 68F  
31113 posts
5/16/2006 3:56 pm

whoa - back up a minute

this is either your fantasy in which case, fine
or this is one of the most disturbing things i have read in a while.

let me assure you - i am not judging a choice you willingly make - but i don't see a choice here - here i see abuse

i am a submissive and i've been one for years - this rings so false to me i can only assume it is make believe, or you were taken and abused badly and not by a Dominant (see Night's comments above)

just a few things that are not bdsm lifestyle -
one - no safe word
two - no safe call
three - no prior meet
four - no contract or negotiation
five- handing a submissive over ot a third party without discussion? to be ??????
six - a belt around your throat until you passed out???

this is not safe
this is not sane
this is not consensual

this IS abuse and i would have called the police on this MFSOB
beyond reporting the room service man which i find difficult to buy

so - don't call this bdsm, and don't call that man a Dominant and don't think accepting or nearly dying makes you a good submissive

i am so angry right now i could spit

and no, i am not the least envious - but i am appalled

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

SexyRycheBabe 46F
820 posts
5/16/2006 10:11 pm

I came back here hoping for some type of response from you regarding your post and the comments left behind.

I gotta tell you ... I haven't been able to stop thinking about this all afternoon long and if this is a fantasy on your part and it didn't really happen, I think I'll be pretty pissed. Relieved, mind you, that you didn't suffer that horrific experience(s) but still pissed, nonetheless.

Don't get me wrong .. you can fantasize about cows for all I care, just be sure to label it as such in the future. If it did happen, I hope that you'll listen to the people who have posted and take their advice literally. There are people out there who can help you. Not only to educate you in the matters of BDSM but also to help you understand your legal standing.

rm_PeanutJackie 37F
1286 posts
5/17/2006 4:12 am

I agree with you completely SexyRyche. Part of this sounds almost like a fantasy, but yet some sounds oh so real. I was hoping there would be a response as well.

"I am beautiful no matter what you say, words can't bring me down. So don't you bring me down today."

MamChelle 49F
1443 posts
5/31/2006 12:21 pm

Yes! i am still here for You! and always open to make a new friend. If i happen to teach You the truth about how loving and wonderful this LS can really is to the credit of all these wonderful F/friends who have taken the time to reach out and not condemn or judge too harshly when others tout our way of life in the manner you did. *holds arms open and isn't afraid to put on the teachers uni for a good cause* i respect that you recanted and are willing to change and learn. chelle.

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