I Was Set Up  

PurplePeach72 45F  
7757 posts
8/12/2006 2:17 pm

Last Read:
8/16/2006 3:35 pm

I Was Set Up

Well if you have already read our blog you know that LeeAnn is off on another adventure with her new b/f MM. She was so excited about going she double posted it...lol. Most of you know from reading our (mostly her) blog that she has a b/f. For lots of reasons, many of which she has related in her post, dealing with abuse and control issues, I understand her need to have some freedom. (see the Open Heats Post early in our blog for more on this). In an earlier post she went on and on about the new b/f and talked about my struggling with it. I don't have a problem with sharing, and I understand her needs. I love her more than words can say. Because of that I will always do what I have to in order to take care of her and help her meet those needs and to do what she needs to to be happy. My issues deal with how much can I share.
In today's post she talked about trying to not feel guilty. The problem is we have agreed on the perimeters of the b/f relationship. I have to meet and approve. There are limits to how much time she spends with them. The problem in her post today is she feels guilty because she is exceeding her own agreed to limits. She went out of town to see him week before last, saw him this past weekend, and is out of town with him now. One of the basic agreements in our sharing deal is that if we play on the weekends we play together. The weekends are our time. With my work, our three year old, and her being a Grad Student, we don't have a lot of just "us" time. So I am a little protective of the weekends. And playtime is not overnight. Well even before they had their last date, they started talking about this one. I reminded her about the weekend. It started out as, well we wont leave until later in the day we will have most of Sat. and then back in time for most of Sun. Well by Thursday, the departure time had moved all the way to 1 pm and only time well tell when she will actully get back Sun. So much for our weekend. She IMs me at work and tells me she has a nice surprise for me. We are going Friday night to play with our very good and sexy friend Ms LJ. And she is leaving me there overnight because MR. AL (bi-friend) is coming over Sat morning to play with Ms. LJ and me. I never stay overnight, one of the other rules about playing is I like for us to be home at some point and wake up together. But I did, because she really wanted me too. If you read her blog she says she hopes she can have a good time without feeling guilty. Well now you see why she says that.
Yes I was set up. Play time with her and a mutual friend with an extra bonus the next morning (he didn't make it, On the way he got a call, he had to be in the air, search and rescue, medivac, in 30 min.s) so that she could say I spent the night, had something extra and would feel better about her being gone. All to make me feel better and help her not feel guilty. The truth is time with Ms. LJ is wonderful, awesome even. So the setup was a neat idea, and was fun. But I would still like to have spent this rainy Saturday afternoon with LeeAnn.
It's really ok. Sometimes she just has a hard time staying in the boundaries of what we agree too. It's not always easy for me to share. And it's not as easy for me to play like she can and wants me too. Lets get real. You have colcouple4f00, she says she wants a boyfriend, not hard for her to do. Once they meet her and get to know her and spend fun time colcouple4f00 with her they are all about being her extra, give me the rules and let me apply for the b/f position.
Then you take colcouple4f00. Not as easy to find the same hot young plaything. Someone I can call and go to them and escape. No responsibility, just lay back and let them take charge. (note, Ms LJ is wonderful, but she plays with "us", the b/f is LeeAnn's only, I don't have the exclusive g/f escape)
So she feels guilty for bending the rules. I want her to have a good time and hope she is even as I write this. It would be nice if I had the same kind of deal, but as the men on AdultFriendFinder, and the rest of the world, know, it doesn't work that way.
But, just so everybody knows, I will probably be kidnapping her for a while after this trip. The weekends cost more...lol.
So, how many of you share, and not just playing together? What are your boundaries and how do you deal with it?



hunterpt 56M  
13503 posts
2/12/2016 6:30 am

Hope things get better for you. Kisses

curious082385 32F
4925 posts
8/16/2006 1:24 am

Strange that you should post this now. I was talking to someone today about the possibility of being in a relationship like yours. All hypothetical since we aren't actually together, but it was still interesting to think about and analyze what exactly my feelings were on the whole thing.
I think it takes a great amount of trust and love to allow your partner to be with someone else and that is beautiful to see.
At the same time, I know that I have jealousy issues. For someone that I loved, I would honestly try to be ok with him being with someone else, but she might be in danger of being picked up and tossed out the window in the middle of things.
Although with complete trust and the right partner, who knows....
Don't mind me, I'm just rambling. Thank you for your honesty in sharing with us.
{=} Love you both!

rm_sexkitty0007 54M/49F

8/15/2006 10:10 am

Lets just geta bunch of us together and all go out!!! Sounds like fun!

SingleNLooking72 107F

8/15/2006 7:24 am

    Quoting rm_sexkitty0007:
    Would love to get together for "girls night out". Count me in...
Hey! I wanna go!!! Or will I be the sitter that night? Hmmm, decisions, decisions....

Now you know how much I love my ?*s!

You know, Rickety Ranger had to have his make up for missing out on the fun session yesterday. But, I think we're back to even for now.

Hmm, still waiting, and greatly anticipating, a make up visit from Big Al.....

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/15/2006 8:05 am:
Sexy LJ,
You know you are always on top....of my list of Girl's for a Girl's Night Out, of course you get to come. I only make you babysit when I'm running away...lol..but I will have to sent the decontamination team to your place soon to de-Rickety you...lmao
Love ya,

rm_sexkitty0007 54M/49F

8/14/2006 7:16 pm

Would love to get together for "girls night out". Count me in...

rm_sexkitty0007 54M/49F

8/14/2006 4:45 pm

My ex-husband and I did try the sharing thing, but it didnt work for us. Eventually he wanted more and more and I recieved less and less of him. I wasnt allowed to have my fun on the side, without him, and we grew to hate one another. You and LeeAnn share something special that many of us dont and cant and never will...You are the lucky ones. Then again the best day of my entire life was the day he exited out of it so maybe I was lucky a little, but thats a long ugly story and not meant for this. It will all work out, sounds like the 2 of you just need to spend some quality time together...
Dammit LeeAnn, find another parts store....and dont forget windshield fluid...LMAO.

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/14/2006 5:21 pm:
Oh Bon,
It's just too much to torture bad boys like him...and that parts store...It has great eye candy...LMAO I'll make a 2nd trip for the washer fluid...

Let's get together soon for a girls night.

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/14/2006 6:20 pm:
THanks Bon-Bon, I do love her more than you can know. Which in turn does make it hard to share something that is so special to me. But, I know how it has to be. Time is the issue sometimes. Thats why I am protective of the weekends, I feel like it is our real time. Both the whole family..lol... and just me and her. That is the time that reassures me and empowers me. It will all work out. She loves me and when two people really love each other, you can do lots of things.

SingleNLooking72 107F

8/14/2006 7:38 am

    Quoting ohcurious14:
    I need a valium!!! This is getting way too complicated for even me.

    Ohcurious14---Aimlessly wandering & shaking his head!!!
Poor baby. It's not all that complicated. We will explain it all, with illustrations, when the position is filled, lol.

LA, there's no way you're off the hook gal! I believe there are still some ?*'s to be exchanged, lol.

Rickety Ranger LOVED the pics BTW. Was sad he missed out!

Luv ya!

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/14/2006 11:24 am:
LJ you will have to go on our road trip to meet OhC. & NB. That way we can do the illustrating in person...lol

As for that hook, if you really want, OK, fine I'll spank you & Steve both....LMAO

Glad RicketyRanger stewed over the pic's, you know me I love to torture bad men...lol Speaking of which I think I hear a parts store calling my name...let's see I need oil, transmission fluid, power steering fluid...ROFLMAO

ohcurious14 60M  
1684 posts
8/14/2006 12:44 am

I need a valium!!! This is getting way too complicated for even me.

Ohcurious14---Aimlessly wandering & shaking his head!!!

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/14/2006 10:47 am:
Come on now, it's not that hard. LJ loves us both and is trying her best to share her wealth of sexy people...lol

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/14/2006 3:14 pm:
Sometimes it gets a little heady for me too. But I just trust that it will all work out.

SingleNLooking72 107F

8/13/2006 7:12 pm

OK, LA, here's the deal. SSS and I are forming our own couple to find a woman all our own to share. She will be hot, wild and insatiable, just like we are, lol. We will party all night at Mz LJ's House of Ill Repute. We will be holding wild orgy parties on occasion, and if you and M&M aren't too busy, you are more than welcome to come. Of course, Big Al is always invited too!

Distance will be a consideration. If you are more than 30 minutes away from Ms LJ's or SSS's, don't bother to apply. Seeing as you are the closeest, you will be handed the first application. Are you interested???

Luv ya both!

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/13/2006 7:32 pm:
Of course LeeAnn always has the real job.... but it sounds like our sweet hot bi friend is trying to find me a g/f. She test drove MM and set him up for LeeAnn, guess now she is screening the ladies for me a g/f. LOL.... she loves having both of us, but yet she is still willing to find and turn over hot bodies to us. Now there are not many friends and lovers that are willing to do that. She found LeeAnn one hot boy-toy in MM, cant wait to see what she finds for me... damn, this is getting interesting.
Thanks and love you girl

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/14/2006 1:01 am:
Woohoo! Thanks LJ, you are the best! If you're lookin for him a regular GF then I'm off the hook for a while...lol
Just let me know when the group meet is, and I'll be there...lol Here's hoping both our e-mails flooded the mail to apply for the new GF position!
Love ya sexy,

champagnechaser 42F
1639 posts
8/13/2006 5:56 pm

Kalie and I are currently discussing moving towards a relationship like yours. There are so many things to consider, so many boundaries to define. I love reading your blog because you guys share so much, and your love for each other is so refreshing

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/13/2006 7:25 pm:
Remember the most important thing is communication. You need to lay it ALL out on the table before you start. And once you do, never ever assume anything, always ask. Even if you know the answer, ask. And be sure that what you do is for the bettering of your relationship. It has to be good for both of you. Good luck, and thank you.

ohcurious14 60M  
1684 posts
8/13/2006 2:50 pm

Wow, This is some heavy shit.I think i'm gonna consult with NB before we reply to this.I do feel what you feel Steve & think I/U How LeeAnn feels as well.

Ohcurious14---Aimlessly wandering,pondering & curious!!!

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/13/2006 4:03 pm:
Some times it is deeper and harder than others. But, I guess the truth is I am willing to accept the hard to have her. After all she is the love of my life. It is not for the weak of heart.

PurplePeach72 45F  
9199 posts
8/13/2006 2:46 pm

It just isn't fair, I wish I could let you have the hot girl body some nights to go play. Then again, we don't always have the same taste...lol Thanks for giving me the time away. I appreciated it and had a great time.


PurplePeach72 replies on 8/13/2006 4:05 pm:
I am glad you had a good time. I love you. And looking forward to "weclome home" fun

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
8/13/2006 5:57 am

I dont mean to sound rude or disapproving when I say this, but if you get so little time together than why dont you spend the free time together and perhaps have the b.f. there???

Sail and I have our limits of sharing and yes we both get jealous. I prefer same room sex, but we have on occassion been separated and that is ok, but my preference is the 4 of us playing.

I dont think I could ever let Sail go out of town with someone or even locally with someone without me!

I think it is great how honest you are You are a sweetheart....

Purry {=}


PurplePeach72 replies on 8/13/2006 8:25 am:
The b/f is her escape, her sanity saver. No responsibility of dealing with or taking care of anything or anyone else. She wants him to be totally discounted from me/us, kind of "hers" Don't misunderstand. We have time. But sometimes its the type of time that counts. Chasing after the little one, dealing with work, school and homework. I know she needs a break. And I want her to have one. The question is how much and how often. Sometimes we do play together and as a general rule its same room. Part of the problem is my ego and I know it. Part of the problem is sometimes limits(even agreed on ones) are simply a control issue and something she feels complied to push. I want her to have fun, and don't mind sharing. There is always some jealousy involved, even same room. Its about just how much escape and at what cost. And freedom is not free. Everything we do has a cost. The old every action as an equal or greater reaction. And when she finds that balance, I am sure it will all be fine.
I understand couples that only play together and that is a great thing when both couples click.
Love you guys, wish you'll were closer, because I am sure we would all click

Queenie1970 47F  
1512 posts
8/12/2006 4:09 pm

Having been in the situation where my significant other was getting the definite benefit and I wasn't (e.g. he had a g/f outside of the relationship, but he was outrageously jealous if I even played casually with another man), I've got to say, I highly recommend that you address the inequity as soon as possible, because that kind of stuff can eat away at you and your relationship. Maybe the rules need to change (e.g. she gets one weekend a month away with him and that's IT), but, essentially, to make a healthy relationship work in the Lifestyle, the most important rule is "No one gets left behind". Not in the literal sense...but in the emotional sense. Her (and your) first choice should ALWAYS be your relationship/family...no other man or woman should come between you on that. If they they do (e.g. if she choses to make him a priority), IMHO, the boundary is crossed between "playing with a toy" and it being a relationship that takes away from your marriage. In the end, to make a marriage work communication and commitment to your partner as the most important person in your life are the keys to making things work. And it's about 20 times more important for a couple in the Lifestyle.

"Sex is emotion in motion." ~ Mae West

PurplePeach72 replies on 8/12/2006 5:08 pm:
I have always said that communication is the key to any marriage, but in the lifestyle it is critical for a relationship. We have grown a lot in our communication. I don't get left behind, I just will never be in the same position she is. We are working on what the "limits" are. We had it worked out in the past, but new boyfriend means we have to work things out again. I know she loves me and I love her. Together we are making this along with the rest of our life's work.
Thanks for coming by and leaving a comment.

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