beware of the nekkid!  

Philosophy_N_Sex 50M/48F
1147 posts
7/8/2005 7:57 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

beware of the nekkid!

In commercial announcer voice: Are you or a loved one having limited sexual activity?

Man: I used to get some three times a day, now I just can’t get any.

Woman: I used to get both men and women, but now??

Announcer: If you have pussy trouble, call the kooter store.

Phone Representative: We can help with insurance claims, social security, even if you are on medic aide, you can qualify.

Old Man: I knew they could help with paper work, but I never thought they would be so nice or work so hard to find a woman, at no cost to me!

Announcer: Even if you do not receive medic aide, we have ways of getting you your woman. Even if you do not qualify for financing you can keep your woman at no cost to you!

Scene of company representative with a girl in a power chair, old person clapping in joy.

Announcer: Don’t let life pass you by, call the Kooter Store today!

The fine print and disclaimers.

It is well known that Kooter does not always mean the female genitalia. It can also mean a turtle. Turtles are reptiles not sex organs desired by more than half the human population. Only other turtles desire to mate with turtles. Unless you are into bestiality, then perhaps you are a human who mates with turtles. Turtle mating could become a national epidemic. Puzzled mental health officials would be at a loss to explain why people are suddenly going in droves to the south to mate with turtles. We claim no responsibility as to what can happen should a turtle snap your genitalia. Turtle genitalia injuries could also become a national epidemic. Soon there could be an evolutionary turn as humans stop mating with humans, and the race goes extinct, because turtle have snapped off all genitalia. However with one viable human-turtle off spring, a new race is born. The aliens that crashed at Roswell return to the planet, and find turtle people. Soon war breaks out, and earth wins the first interstellar war. Turtle people steal the Grey’s technology and begin to expand into an interstellar empire. Soon turtles are in control of billions of stars, and are oppressing millions of alien races. The alien races unite and fight the turtle empire. After much death, destruction, war, and horror, the rebels are defeated. The aliens become slaves for eons as the turtles continue to oppress them. The turtles consume all the natural resources of the Milky Way Galaxy. Soon find themselves at war with a race of rabbits from the Andromeda Galaxy. Instead of war, they challenge the turtles to a race. The rabbits are not over confident this time, and win the race. The turtles all commit Hare Kari in the ancient samurai tradition. All the worlds rejoice and have turtle soup. However to save the galaxy all this trouble we will assume Kooter means the female sex organ.

ExploreMore4Me 60F

7/9/2005 7:59 am

LMAO....I so look forward to reading this blog everyday! You are such brilliant and creative souls! Kisses, Kisses & More Kisses! Wondering though...The Kooter Store...what do they call it for the woman looking for the man? LOL What's the male counter-part called?


Philosophy_N_Sex 50M/48F

7/9/2005 11:12 am

Humm bein a sexist pig I never put much thought into what can the ladies order.

Well the other company that makes scooter is call "invacare" we can have peni-care grin

Thank you for all the kind compliments.. you are too kind!

Apolybear 55M

7/9/2005 4:49 pm

Well S&P, just when I think you've reached your zenith, you go and out do yourself. Bravo!

EM4M, how about the ThrustMaster7 (additional 10 inch appendage sold separately Orgasms guaranteed or your money back!

patsam69 52M/52F

7/9/2005 6:17 pm

I am laughing so hard I have to pee!! that was great guys!

rm_jayR63 60F
1884 posts
7/9/2005 7:49 pm

I will not be able to ignore that ad any longer.

Someone should use their best old man voice and call them up.

"Oh, never mind then"

Philosophy_N_Sex 50M/48F

7/9/2005 8:12 pm

Thank you Pat & Sam you are too kind

I needed to come out of my shell

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