Child  

Philosophy_N_Sex 50M/48F
1147 posts
10/20/2005 12:34 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Child

Song of the Day: Playground in my mind ‒ Clint Holmes

Ok I will use a theoretical product to describe a very real situation that other parents can relate to.

You are watching a TV show, and then this commercial comes on for “Mr. Froggy.” The commercial shows children sitting calmly and interacting with Mr. Froggy just has an adult intended they should. An announcer in a pleasant voice will tell you how Mr. Froggy will enhance your child’s learning and development. The children will be smiling and clapping, as the parents looking on will have a huge expression of pride. The announce will basically tell you your child will become a developmentally disabled serial killer unless they have Mr. Froggy.

Children sitting calming on their own for more than 30 seconds and properly interact with a toy?

RIGHT!!!!!!

Do these toy marketers ever market test their products?
Do they even have children?
Have they even observed children for more than 2 seconds?
Are they humans?

Ok here is how the situation works in the real world.

For whatever masochistic reason the parents decide that Mr. Froggy is a good idea for the kids. Actually it will be one parent deciding with out consulting the other. Off to the toy store they go for a Mr Froggy. Once at the toyshop they are delighted that Mr. Froggy is only $16.99, not too bad. Until they realize that Mr. Froggy needs “Talk Packs” to actually work. With out a “Talk Pack” Mr. Froggy is nothing more than a two-dollar plush toy that is actually uglier than normal plush toys. They real catch is that “Talk Packs” are $34.99.

The parent notice that there are some Froggy Talk Pack in the clearance rack. Yes lucky day! As they read the Clearance “Talk Packs” they find the titles “Froggy learns Arabic” “Froggy poops his pants” and “Froggy says no to street gangs.” So the parent pays $34.99 for “Mr. Froggy learns to count.”

Once home the parent assembles Froggy, and then realizes “batteries not included” is written all over the box in neon red that one would have to be blind to miss. Also for some reason that defies logic Mr. Froggy take 15 AAA sized batteries. Batteries are sold in even numbers? Well they can recoup some of the money because the dollar store had cases of alkaline batteries. When at the dollar store the smarter customers already stocked up on batteries, and the store sold out of them thus leaving space for more paper Chinese dolls. So the unhappy parent ends up paying full retail at a chain store.

Once the parent put the batteries in Mr. Froggy, and finds a place to store the extra battery, then presses a button, and MR Froggy comes to life. The parent then hurries to find the child assuming he/she will be very excited to finally be able to play wit this great new toy. Actually the child is very delight. Mr. Froggy came packaged in bubble wrap. While one parent was out getting batteries, the other parent is about to go insane from the constant pop pop pop sound of bubble wrap being popped. It does not help the mood that a Receipt for $34.99 plus 16.99 PLUS tax was discovered. The receipt lead to many evil spousal glares.

The child finally discovers Mr. Froggy, and when you press a button on his chest he says a number. Given all the buttons on Froggy’s chest, and that there are an infinite amount of numbers, the child decides to only press 3.

Over the next 20 days all one can hear in an electronic frog voice is 3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3. When Mr. Froggy went out side an older neighborhood kids said Mr. Froggy was stupid. So the child now ran around saying “ stupid Froggy” followed by 3-3-3-3-3-3-3, stupid Froggy 3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3 stupid Froggy 3-3-3-3-3-3-3. A two-hour trip to Gramma’s house means stupid Froggy 3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3. One parent tried to “accidentally” leave Mr. Froggy on top of the car. However the other Parent reminded all of the value of $34.99 plus 16.99 PLUS tax, and how they might have to exist on cabbage soup, or work nights flipping burgers. This reminder was followed by the spousal evil stare.

Finally the child realizes Mr. Froggy can say other thing besides 3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3. When you throw Mr. Froggy down the stairs he says random numbers before he hits the bottom stair. When you do a pro wrestling pile driver, he says zero! Grabbing his legs and slamming him to the floor he says 7. So now the parents can endure 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7. Until Mr. Froggy’s legs breaks off. Not to worry by slamming Mr. Froggy with his other leg, he says 9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9. The parents thought relief came when Mr. Froggy’s finally had no legs.

The family had to have “take and bake pizza” money was tight, because $34.99 PLUS $16.99 PLUS tax was supposed to buy groceries. While the pizza was cooking a strange smell filled the house. It was discovered that Mr. Froggy was hungry before the rest of the family, and was placed in the oven to have pizza. He has no legs and could not get there himself, so he needed a helper. Mr. Froggy can no longer says numbers in English, his counting now sounds more like MAW-WA-WA-WA-WA.

Mr. Froggy sat in the closet for a few months. Until one night the family was sitting with each member reading to self. The child got Mr. Froggy, and calmly sat on the floor, telling mommy and daddy that it is counting time with Mr. Froggy. The child then broke into tears that Mr. Froggy did not work, and really missed Mr. Froggy. “Mommy I am developmentally disabled, and feel like becoming a serial killer.”

How come the toy marketers never show this side of the story??

Thanks for stopping by and have an excellent day!!!


rm_luke69iner 49M
3275 posts
10/20/2005 5:37 pm

LMAO

i want a Mr. Foggy

i want Froggy learns Arabic

must have it now


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


AltumHunksUnite 54M

10/22/2005 4:09 am

"How come the toy marketers never show this side of the story??"

Because then no one would buy it.

It sucks buying something and then learning you have to spend an equal amount on the accessories that actually make the thing work.

Let me drive. I like the view


rm_jayR63 60F
1884 posts
10/22/2005 10:17 am

Here's a novel idea.

Parents spend time with kids helping them learn to read and count!
Can I receive a patent on intellectual property?

My parents taught me to read before I entered school.
I recall buying "workbooks" at the store that contained reading and writing exercises. I loved those things and always wanted a new one.
No batteries required.


Philosophy_N_Sex 50M/48F

10/22/2005 2:44 pm

Hey Luke
You can have a Mr Froggy, but I am sure you could speak Arabic faster with a female genie

Jezebelle
Yes talking toys are possessed! I hated those dumb chucky movies!

Cleavis:
We had granparents buy something for the kids, and we had to go get the parts to make it work, was annoying. We considered jsut doign a return, but the toy was no longer made.

JayR
We do the work book thing too, it is how kiddo earns extra money. We do have some hi tech toys, and the basics too. Legos are great toys, they can make their own toys!


Philosophy_N_Sex 50M/48F

10/24/2005 2:08 pm

tall50:
Frog leg croissants?
ewww.. hahah


rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
10/25/2005 1:32 pm

mr froggy sounds like a nightmare -- the plastic worm on of my relatives gave my daughter is bad enough -- when it is on its own off to the side of the room, it will suddenly announce in a cutesy yorkshire accent: "wiggle wiggle!" or "round and round we go. Wheeeeee!" -- jeez -- i think those kinds of toys are enough to turn anyone into a psycho axe murderer!



[blog freelove999]


Philosophy_N_Sex 50M/48F

10/26/2005 10:45 am

Free love

Yes I think toys are a conspiracy (sp) the world is being taken over by evil!!


Dragonslust2 56M

10/27/2005 4:27 pm

Excellent ....Toys like that are usually a relatives revenge ...Hmm...Christmas is comin up...where did ya get that frog....evil grin I know a deserving Parent.......


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