Why?  

PepsDick 54M/39F
15 posts
6/5/2006 6:10 am

Last Read:
6/13/2006 6:13 am

Why?


Why is it whenever there is a break up of the institution called marriage, does one of the parties attempt to ruin the other? This is usually the one that did not want the break up and thought life was just dandy.

It has been two years since I have split from my second wife and six months since the divorce has been finalized in a court of law. The break up was not an easy one, since she could not understand that it was over. I had told her over the year prior to make changes in her life or we would not be together. She choose not to make those changes and was totally in denial of the break up.

When it finally hit her that I was not just making a point and it was finally over, the response from her was totally devastating on my part. First thing she did was to obtain a restraining order against me and have me thrown out of my own house. We went to court and she had the trial delayed under the assumption of attaining an attorney. During this month of having me out of my house she managed to have my name removed from the deed to the house. She withdrew all the money out of my personal bank account, as if that was not bad enough, she forgded several checks to the tune of several hundred dollars.

Now two years later I go to renew my license with the State of Missouri and come to find out that the check I wrote two years ago had bounced. Not surprising. The ex held all my mail and refused to give it to me, which would have let me know that the check had bounced. That way I could have taken corrective action immediately. But no, she was out to ruin my entire life to include my career. At this present time I am not able to work because my license is sitting in limbo.

With in the past two years I have lost my house. I have lost every little bit of the momentos that I have kept over the last forty years of my life. Pictures, medals from the military, documents, ect...ect... I have had to purchase all new clothing since I was thrown into jail the night I was served with the restraining order. It was based on made up statements of abuse and threats. The police did not believe my truths, since she had her daughter lie also on the statements. I was arrested, spent 24 hours in jail, and released with just the clothes I was wearing from the day prior. The police refused to take me to my house and allow me to retrieve any clothing or belongings, I would have to obtain a court order to do that. It would take about a month to get a court date. You have to love some of our legal system.

All of this eventually lead to me loosing my job since I had no vehicle, no home, and no clothes. Then the ex decided to try and turn my family against me by telling them a bunch of lies about what had occured. She went to my very religous father and told him I was gay and living a very sinful lifestyle. He didn't question it and basically shunned me. He died last year very unexpectedly in the middle of our arguing over many things that he still tended to believe. I am still living with the regret that the last words I wrote to my father were harsh and in an impersonal email.

Now that all of this has occured, I have no idea where she is. When the restraining order was lifted a year later, I went back to my house. It was empty and up for sale. All my belongings gone forever. No forwarding address for the ex. I long list of unpaid bills now reaching into the thousands of dollars.

My question is WHY???

rm_ashpuff 34F
11 posts
6/11/2006 9:59 pm

Dick,
What is very interesting is I have heard this story before. My oldest brother Mike and his current wife have been through the exact same shit. His wife is about as psycho as yours. She retained a restraining order, kicked him out of his house, sold all of his belongings, got him fired from his job, told horrible, horrible stories to everyone who would listen, wrote tons of bad checks, and many other tasteless acts. Not only did she try to get my brother arrested she made up aligations of child abuse, spousal abuse, and even claimed my dad was in on it. She managed to hurt alot of people and never appologized for one thing. My dad died almost two years ago with those horrible lies haunting his mind. What's even worse is they eventually got back together. They were together about six months when she did everything again. They have been separated several times and my brother is dumb enough to keep going back to her. So Dick, I can completely relate to your situations. And the saddest thing is you can't do a damn thing. Unfortunately, the law will always side with the females involved regardless of who is actually the wronged party. So keep your head up and try not to let her see you get down. Because really that's all she wants is to see you and your loved ones hurting.
-Ashley


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