Yes, this proves that I AM an evil bastard...  

Nightguy_1961 56M
3324 posts
7/2/2006 1:06 am

Last Read:
8/6/2006 9:23 am

Yes, this proves that I AM an evil bastard...

The hotel I work at is surrounded on three sides by a huge drainage ditch. The ditch is about 10 feet wide and roughly the same in depth. The ditch serves two purposes: since we live in the lowlands of Virginia, ditches like this are needed or else the parking lot would stay flooded after a heavy rain. Another purpose is that the ditch limits how people can come onto the hotel property. No one can run in from the back, cause trouble and make a getaway on foot...they have to go in and out by the driveway in front.

When I came in Saturday night, we had a sell out; two wedding parties, a reunion, a tour group, plus holiday travelers. I did a drive around when I came in and I noticed that a crowd was in the parking lot, hanging around and drinking beer. When I got in and relieve the second shift clerk, it wasn't long until I got the first few calls from guests complaining about the 'party' in the parking lot. I told them I would check it out.

Now usually, I'll just walk out and calmly ask the rowdies to head on to their rooms and that's it. But the clerks had already had some problems with some of these guests earlier, so calm wasn't going to cut it. I could have called the police and have them drive through, but all the rowdies usually do is hide, then come back out when the coast is clear.

Then evil inspiration hit me....

I went out and walked around to where the party was going; there were about 25 people out in the parking lot. I had my flashlight and I was, my 9mm was on my belt. The gansta wannabees saw me walking towards them and started to run their mouths. But I wasn't even paying attention to them; instead, I walked by the edge of the ditch, shining the flashlight along the edge of the water, as if I was looking for something.

Curiosity finally got the best of them: "Yo man...whatchu lookin' for?"

Me: (in a very friendly voice) "Y'all wouldn't have seen any snakes around here, have you?"

About 10 of the rowdies, including one guy who sounded like Celine Dion hitting a high note: "SNAKES?!?!?!?!?"

Me: "Yeah...water moccasins...about four to five feet...real mean bastards. Somebody said they thought they saw one around the cars when they pulled in...they hang around the ditch here...don't like a lot of noise. Why do you think I've got my pistol with me?"

Silence....I look around....

Ever seen about 20 some people vanish? I swear, I think some of them jumped from the parking lot up to the second floor balcony...

Needless to say, all was quiet in the parking lot....heh heh heh heh

Why shouldn't I let the snakes run security in the parking lot? At least I don't have to pay them...

btw, the snake in the picture is what we call a 'water moccasin'. The proper name is Cottonmouth moccasin, because the snake's mouth is white as cotton when it opens it to ward off a possible danger. They are poisonous and ill tempered. Usually found around rivers, ponds, and streams in the southeastern US, they swim and can bite while under water. Around here, I have seen some about 6 feet long, with a body as big as a man's arm in circumference. My advice if you ever see one in the wild: figure out which way the snake is headed and head anywhere BUT that direction...


GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
7/2/2006 1:17 am

~ smilez ~ thx

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 1:20 am:
Thanks...glad to see you smiling again...I was a bit concerned...

OboesHonedIambs 63F

7/2/2006 1:31 am

That was smartly done! Feckin' brilliant, in fact!

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 1:49 am:
Too bad the snakes didn't come out of the ditch tonight....could have used their assistance....

seems about the time I posted this, some of the rowdies went across the street to the all night restaurant and started some trouble, which followed them back her to the hotel...I just got done talking to the police who were called...

Of course, the ones who started it, then ran back here are in their little beds, pretending to sleep like little angels, you know?

funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
7/2/2006 1:56 am

You are indeed an evil bastard.
Some people say I have no taste but, I like ya!

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 9:57 pm:
At last...someone who admits that I'm a cold hearted, evil bastard...vindication at last...


rm_smosmof2 68M
3240 posts
7/2/2006 1:59 am

That's the second time in two days that I've laughed so hard at something I read in Blobville that I started to choke....

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 9:57 pm:
Sorry...hope you didn't choke too bad....

Mistress_Nessa 41F

7/2/2006 2:19 am

LMAO... way too funny!! it's amazing how "bad ass wanna bes" react to certain things sometimes.

~ Nessa ~

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 9:58 pm:
Oh, the g-wannabees amuse me, with their "I'm baaaad!" attitude....of course, a lot of them still live at home with their mothers, but that's beside the point, you know?


papyrina 52F
21133 posts
7/2/2006 2:37 am

nice one see your clever at all sorts of things

I'm a

i'm here to stay

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 9:59 pm:

I don't feel that way right now, but thank you....

phoenix639 50F

7/2/2006 2:57 am

Not evil at all...bloody clever if you ask me.

Smart guy indeed.

Could do with guys like you on nightclub/bar doors.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:00 pm:

I used to work as a bouncer, but those days are long past...


Fox4aKnight1 44F

7/2/2006 3:03 am


Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:00 pm:
Figured you'd like that....

happyladychat 48F
3740 posts
7/2/2006 3:42 am

Nope, don't think you're an evil bastard. You thought out of the box and you did great to scare away the rowdies without much effort and wasted resource .... I would definitely love to hire you.

Make it your challenge.... turn me ON!!

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:01 pm:
Thank you....I could use a change of jobs after this weekend...

TheLilFondler 34F
2576 posts
7/2/2006 5:58 am

i love it LMAO

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:01 pm:
I'm glad you do....

mysticdreamangel 62F
2759 posts
7/2/2006 6:25 am

What a perfect start to my day! I know I will be laughing each time I think of what you did. The vision of them running had me laughing out loud.

Thanks for the smile,


P.S. Your not evil...

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:02 pm:
Thank you...

so what do you call someone with an absence of good in their heart? I call it evil in my book.....

wickedeasy 68F  
30939 posts
7/2/2006 7:03 am

gotta love a good security force

safe journey my friend

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:03 pm:
Well, when you were here, I told them to stay away from your door.

The journey hasn't started yet......shhhhhhh

NSAAddict 43F

7/2/2006 7:35 am

Wow NG, how a person chooses to react to a certain situation really tells a lot about them and from what I can see about you from your blogs, it's exactly the way I'd expect you to handle it. Brilliantly well done

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:04 pm:

To be honest, after almost 8 years of dealing with the same type of situation...I was tired of doing the same thing, so I got a little creative....


angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
7/2/2006 7:35 am

You are just too smart! That was creative thinking at its best! Great post!

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:05 pm:
Thanks angel....tweren't nothin'....

PurplePeach72 45F  
9199 posts
7/2/2006 7:48 am

Oh NG,
We are sooo alike! I would have done the same thing, except I would have taken my 6ft Boa constrictor, Jr. with me wrapped around my waist, tail wagging to my hips swaying, and at least one of the Great Danes with a big giant spiked collar. I'd have told them that Jr. gets agitated when he smells poisonous snakes in his terrritory and we were on patrol, besides even big dogs got to pee....hehe
You're not the only evil bastard around, and I have sooo much fun when I'm being bad!

Hugs to you and your Lady,

I promise to call soon, things are just nuts here right now as I know they are for you both as well. Enjoy the holiday and don't overdo the cleaning and prep!{=}


Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:07 pm:
Believe it or not, a friend of mine had a German Sheapard that would go on point when he sensed a snake was nearby. They lived near the river, so moccasins were a bit of a nuisance for him and his family. But the dog would bark and growl, staying out of the snake's range and force it to retreat.

We understand about being busy....going through that ourselves as you know....take your time, okay


rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
7/2/2006 8:24 am

When I was a kid, a friend's mother told me about jumping into a swimming hole in Oklahoma and landing on a ball of moccasins. Miracle was she wasn't bitten, but the kids in that town found another place to swim.

Would be interested in your take on my newest post. Is "testing" a part of the D/S game?

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:20 pm:

I've heard a story going around for years (I think it's an urban legend to be honest) about a game warden who was patrolling around a lake/pond when he saw a little boy who was fishing off the bank. Since fishing season was closed, the warden decided to tell the little boy and send him home.

When he walked up, the warden saw the little boy was pale and sweating. The warden asked, "What are you using for bait, son?"

The boy replied, "Some worms I dug up nearby."

The warden asked, "Anything biting?" "Only the worms, sir.", the little boy said.

The warden looked in the can sitting beside the boy and damn near freaked - there weren't worms in the can, but baby water moccasins. Young cottonmouths are born with fangs and venom, so every time the boy reached in the can, he got bit several times. The warden rushed the boy to the ER, but it was too late.

Like I said, it might be just an urban legend, but my aunt said that it happened around her house in Fayetteville, NC.

Thanks...I'll go check out your post in a bit, okay?

HeartlessBitch69 47F

7/2/2006 8:56 am

I laughed so freakin hard! That was a good one!

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:21 pm:
Glad you liked it....thanks...

sexyariesgirl 58F

7/2/2006 8:59 am

How funny! I love it when bad ass wannabes are put in their places!

Power To FOK

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:22 pm:
Thanks and that makes two of us....when I told the front desk supervisor what I did, she LOL....she thought it was great...

silverbreeze2 66F

7/2/2006 11:57 am

Loved this! Yes, a snake would make a "great security guard"! And if I had been with that gang, I would have been the first one to run! I'm deathly afraid of them! We have cottonmouth's here too, wicked looking snakes!

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:24 pm:
I'm not scared of snakes, but I don't like to come up on one unexpectedly.

Snakes & I have an understanding: I leave them alone and they leave me alone....simple.

Thanks, and you're right, they are wicked looking and wicked acting snakes. At least with a rattler, you know where it is....

PlaynAgain 55F

7/2/2006 12:23 pm

As creative in real life as you are in your writing - why am I not surprised?

"Attitude is everything. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:25 pm:
Working on the night shift at a hotel on a July Saturday night, you have to be a little creative when dealing with some of the people I deal with.


HBowt2 60F

7/2/2006 12:52 pm

love it....always say there are more way to skin a cat.....

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:26 pm:
True....I figured the wild cats that roam around here sometimes wouldn't have the same effect as a snake....


Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
7/2/2006 1:45 pm

Very creative!!! I love it!!!


Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:26 pm:
Thank I said, it was evil inspiration...


7/2/2006 6:12 pm

lmao... too cool

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:27 pm:
Look at it this way...if I were down there, I could have used alligators as an excuse....


ButteryDelight 59F

7/2/2006 6:19 pm

You handled the situation in just the right way. And you got alaugh out of it as well.

Buttery Delight

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:29 pm:

Well, I was bored, to be quite honest. And I figured the image of one 3 foot snake would do a lot more to chase them away than 10 of me, you know?

Thanks...and I did get a laugh out of it, which I've needed the past few days...

lightswitch1963 70M/54F

7/2/2006 7:21 pm

Do you think that would work on our neighbors??? Not evil at all. It was better than one of the assholes trying to get your gun. We love guns. Laughed our asses off....I knew you were a smart man.

We'll leave the light on for you.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/2/2006 10:32 pm:
Well.....if you find a snake skin that the snake has shed recently, you could leave it on your neighbor's door step...that might work.

As to someone grabbing my 9mm, I didn't let anyone get behind me. I stayed clear and my 9mm is on my right hip in a quick release holster like police use. Plus, I had my right hand resting on it no worries there.

Thanks...I'll leave the gate unlocked...and tell the snakes to let you in....

waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

7/2/2006 11:07 pm

You handled that perfectly, I had this image im my mind of grown men running away screaming

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/3/2006 12:54 am:
Well, there were a lot of "Oh shit" and "Let's get the f*ck outta here"....not sure about screaming, but I think they were running like their hair was on fire and their asses were catching...

VTLakesideVixen 61F
458 posts
7/3/2006 12:08 am

Evil you say? Nae, sounds more like creativity to me! Brains always win out over brawn. Besides, a man who uses his brain for this type of evil makes a wickedly sexy sage for NG's Lady!


Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/3/2006 12:56 am:
No, I stick with evil...cause I was hoping that the snake(s) would tag one of them to be quite honest...

You'd have to ask my lady if I'm sexy or not...sorry, I don't see myself in that way...

willing2tryit42 41M
1141 posts
7/3/2006 12:47 am

My God man.... you have a wickedly evil wit about you. It is glorious to behold!

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/3/2006 3:02 am:
Thank wit comes from dealing with such individuals over the years...from my days working in bars, clubs, here at the various other endeavors.

Shameless_Biotch 49F

7/3/2006 12:57 am

You are not evil, My Dark Sage, you are RESOURCEFUL!!!
I didn't know it could, but my respect and admiration of you just grew about 100%!!

Thank you for showing others that you do not have to meet brawn with brawn, but you can outfox them by using your brain!!

Your Shameless #1 Fan

**disappears in a cloud of cherry blossoms**

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/3/2006 3:04 am:
No, trust me...I am evil at times

I guess I'm getting too old and too slow to duke it out like I used I just came up with something that I thought would work.

Most people have a fear of snakes, even slightly....figured the idea of a snake creeping up on them in the dark would send them back to their rooms....guess it worked...

Thanks.....and thank you for the email....

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
7/3/2006 2:55 am

Cleverness saves the fists...

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/4/2006 12:51 am:
It also saves on ammunition....have you seen the cost of 9mm bullets lately? sheeesh.....


ohcurious14 60M  
1684 posts
7/3/2006 9:34 am

This Sir proudly nods in amusement and hysterical laughter.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/4/2006 12:53 am:
Thanks OhC...too bad I couldn't rally the snakes later on that night...a bunch of the rowdies went across the street and started some crap that spilled back over here....had the police up here for awhile, complaining customers.....

in other words, just another typical sold out summer night here at the hotel....

rm_Melciber 62M
214 posts
7/3/2006 2:36 pm

Good one to salt away and tell the grandkids NG - thanks for bringing a smile to this mush.

Thanks for the info on cottonmouths - hope I never have to meet one though.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/4/2006 12:54 am:
Thanks Mel...I'm sure the Grandkids will get a kick out of it someday...

The cottonmouth looks similar to the Australian Brown Snake, which I understand is a real killer down under....from what I've read, it is very territorial, very aggressive, and very poisonous...

Thanks again...good to see you again....

BadAssBlonde1 58F
4989 posts
7/3/2006 4:44 pm

And all the time I thought the reason you carried a gun to work was because of the neighborhood. LOL ... too funny.

Lady Hunter

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/4/2006 12:55 am:
To be honest, I sometimes have more respect for the damn snakes than I do some of the guests that come in here....

Thanks, good to see you here at the Fortress....

libgemOH 57M/53F

7/4/2006 4:27 am

My kinda evil bastard!!! -B

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/6/2006 1:53 am:
Thanks B, I needed to hear that right about now....

curious082385 32F
4925 posts
7/5/2006 12:39 am

*taking notes for future use on drunk wedding guests*

Nightguy_1961 replies on 7/6/2006 1:55 am:
also works for reunion guests, noisy church guests....most any guests...

Thanks....damn glad you're back....

SmallTightKitty2 106F

7/17/2006 12:45 pm

Hun I don't see what you did as evil at all. In fact sounds like something I would have done but had a long ole' stick with a hook so if I saw one I could have slung it over their heads saying I was trying to remove it from them so they wouldn't get hurt. While all the time LMAO as they stomped on each other getting out of the parking lot!!!

wondertwins2006 44F/39F
138 posts
8/5/2006 3:43 am

Late comment here, but here goes...

Evil bastard, noooooo. Wicked, maybe. Even cunning. But wicked? Nah.

Become a member to create a blog