What's a lie amongst friends? EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!  

Nightguy_1961 56M
3324 posts
1/26/2006 10:03 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

What's a lie amongst friends? EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

I was talking to a couple of F/friends and the subject of 'misrepresenting' one's self on line came up. Hell, let's pull off the damn gloves, some people are out and out lying to others on line!!!

Okay, I know some have 'fudged' a bit about the few extra pounds they've put on...or the grey around the temples...or some physical characteristic they're not proud of sharing. But what I'm referring to is something much more harmful in terms of relationships.

Understand this...I'm not passing judgment on anybody!!!! Just pointing out something that's been on my mind for the past few weeks.

Some people, I've discovered, have neglected to let people know that they have a significant other in their lives...namely, a spouse.

"So What?", you ask. Well, honesty and openness is important in ALL relationships, but maybe more so in a Lifestyle relationship. W/we don't kid ourselves: people can get hurt doing what we do, either physically or emotionally. Trust is key to a good Lifestyle relationship. Without trust, a scene is filled with possible danger.

Several things come to mind....If this person has lied about being(or not being) married, what else have they lied about? An STD? Trust is a fragile thing...one hit and it takes so much work to rebuild...and sometimes, it cannot be rebuilt.

Another thing to keep in mind is how much work it takes to keep up a lie. If a person lies once, they have to tell other lies to keep the original afloat, or their boat is sunk. How much easier is it to just be honest up front and not have to deal with it ever again?

I know several potential situations that are just time bombs waiting to explode...simply because one of the participants is married...and has failed to let people know this fact. Heaven help the victims when the explosion comes, because chances are they will never trust another person again. And that's the tragedy: one person's lie affects so many people.

I know several ladies from this site and they know I'm attached (My profile has stated this from the beginning). Some have politely declined to even chat because I'm married...not a problem. At least we have been straight up with each other and no one's feelings have been hurt. More people have accepted my lady and I as a couple and some great friendships have developed because of our honesty. I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else, but at least I'm honest.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is: If someone would lie about something as important as a relationship, would you trust them in an intimate relationship....in your house...in your bed?

Just something to think about.

NG....still looking from the top of the mountain

BadAssBlonde1 58F
4989 posts
1/27/2006 10:33 pm

Well said, NG. I shared with you and lady the incident that happened to me during my first year on this site. In my opinion I had went through all the steps that was required to meet this man. He was well known in the chat room; had been going in there for years. Cycle was known by many and well thought of. After going through the motions of flying to NH to meet him on several occassions, he hid the fact that he was a married man. I didn't have a clue because I always book my own hotel reservations and allow short meetings in the beginning; a date out of state so to speak. He had fooled everyone, including myself. I think back now on the times we shared and one thing sticks out in my mind. When I found out about this; he immediately left his wife and expected me to allow him to move into my Manor. He actually called to say; "I know I have lied to you, however in the name of love; I want to be with you" . My saving grace were my friends that stood behind me and supported me in my decisions. Kyphi; my safe calls, Mentor and Dear Friend, ZooDirt, blackvelvet & galina. I will never forget the hurt I felt. The worse thing that came from this experience was him thinking that I would accept that he had lied to me and let it go. I will never forget calling my extended family in AZ. (Kyphi & ZD) and just being in pure shock about the whole damn thing. Of course there were a few that told me; "he is just a man" what do you expect. Well, I don't expect a lie nor is it acceptable behavior from where I sit. I have since found out that one of these people in particular knew all the time that he was a married man. She claimed to be a dear friend and I didn't realize until recently that she had something to gain by covering up for him. It's a shame all the way around. It is true that I was fooled, however Cycle and the one that made excuses for him were foolish to think that I would overlook such. For some reason he didn't think I meant what I said and showed up in NC. Now, that was really foolish. First the lies and then attempting the intemidation factor. As I was told by security while lounging in my yard watching from the pool, that man ain't the sharpest tool in the shed afterall. That was the nicest Southern Escort I have witnessed in years. Bless his heart; wherever he may be.

NG; when the day comes when those that are guilty of this are exposed; ya'll just take cover here. Someone must protect the Safe Haven that we love.

For all Time,
Lady Hunter - Telling it like it is; all lady like too

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

MamChelle 49F
1443 posts
1/28/2006 1:51 am

As i read this NG..i was very aware that One, was the only One i have ever submitted to in chat...i didn't buy the "Oh that's someone from another room trying to start something" BS! the handle and then her post about watching his online toy..didn't need to be said. I am a witch, and an empath..i felt her anger. i was led to believe that He was divorced. i know better now. Once again i was misled by this One..see i loved him back in the 90s when the very day i picked to tell him, happened to be the same day he anounced in chat that he was going to marry another and be a father. So i am aware i have been doubly played. Sadly this is why i don't so easily trust the men in my life. i had hoped that he had changed and yet as i cyber kneeled by his chair and was forced to watch him make pass after pass at others..i felt the hurt all over again..and telling me "were just friends and seeing where it goes" really didn't change that i felt again used. i try to live my cyber life as i do my real life, as honestly and as upfront as i can. And i value the F/friends who care enough to look out for me. *warm hugs to You and lady*

wickedeasy 68F  
31113 posts
1/29/2006 11:02 am

oh NG - does your hammer ever miss the nail? once again, a direct hit and i hope (thought i doubt) that the ones that need to read this, read this and recognize themselves. lord knows i am a born flirt and i love the hugs and especially the <<SHGS>>, but i would do the same with lady sitting in the room and i never, ever lie about my Sir. Once, a man in the room asked me to do something my Sir had explicitly forbidden me to do , saying he doesn't come in the room, so who will know. Looks at Lady - yup, you know what i am talking about.

I would know. and so would my Sir because i would tell Him. To think that one would try to build a relationship when the foundation is based on a lie? why bother? it will crumble. it has to.

much love to the man on top fo the mountain and the lady who loves him. i adore you both


You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Fox4aKnight1 44F

1/29/2006 9:54 pm

I admire this post. I am at a loss for words...

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