The Parable of the Dark Sage & The Lady of Shadows  

Nightguy_1961 56M
3324 posts
5/20/2006 12:03 am

Last Read:
5/25/2006 9:59 pm

The Parable of the Dark Sage & The Lady of Shadows

There was once a lady of shadows who roamed the land. People who met her liked her, but could never get a clear look at her features, nor could they find out anything about her. She told people about her true nature, but was a little shy about details. People wondered why, but respected her for her privacy.

The lady was friends with the Dark Sage, who had welcomed her to the Dark Fortress. Many a dark night, the two friends talked about everything, becoming closer friends in the process. Then, one night, the lady of shadows was not there. The Dark Sage, though worried, knew his friend had her reasons for her sudden departure.

One night, as he wrote in his Mystical Journal, he felt a presence near him. Drawing his Scholar's Sword, he turned to defend, but relaxed when he saw his friend the shadow...a bit fainter, but still there...a quiet smile on her face. Returning his sword to it's scabbard, he spoke, "Good evening, my friend...good to see you"

The shadow smiled, then quietly asked, "My friend, can I tell you something? Something that may break our friendship for good?" The Dark Sage nodded, his mind ready for anything. She continued, "I fear I have not be honest with you...I am not who I appear to be." She continued, telling him details about her true nature...which painted a much different picture than the one she'd described to others. She said the reason for the deception was fear...fear from those who had hurt her, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Her tears fell silently as she finished her story...and she turned to leave, sure that her friend would never want to speak to her again.

"Please...stay, my friend", the Dark Sage said softly, "I understand why you did what you did."

" forgive me?" she asked, hardly daring to hope.

He smiled, "No, I can't forgive you, for you did nothing that needs forgiving. You were afraid, and fear makes all of us do things that, to us, make perfect sense. Just remember, I have been and always will be your friend."

She smiled and embraced the Dark Sage...relieved that he understood. She drifted back into the night air, knowing that there was one who was worthy of her trust and respect. The Dark Sage returned to his writing...a little more understanding of the emotions that drive people to do what they think is a proper course of action.

Winston Churchill once said, "The truth is protected by a cadre of falsehoods". Sometimes a person hides their most inner selves from all around them...because of fear. Fear of pain, fear of ridicule, fear of rejection.

I ask you, dear visitor this question: If you found out that someone had hidden something about themselves because of fear, would you turn your back on them or would you try to understand?

Think about it...

NG61...hopefully, a little wiser & a little more understanding about the comedy known as the human race...

©NG61 2006

HBowt2 60F

5/20/2006 12:50 am

We all hide things about say we could not understand someone else is to say we don't understand our own needs to do this...

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 1:05 am:
Nicely take on it is an old saying about 'you can't judge a person until you've walked a mile in his shoes'....

We all hide behind masks....of one form or another...

Thank you....

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
5/20/2006 2:19 am

Depending on the falsehood, I think I may be a little hurt at not being trusted...but I would understand and forgive. Interesting question and story. Thank you...and btw...having the old pain well up into bitterness in moments that seem/are/feel similar to the past is perfectly normal and makes it no less true that someone who has walked in the shadows of the soul has something of power and wisdom to offer the you illustrate so well here in this tiny example of a blog post. I am pleased that you write this blog as I learn a great deal from you. Even when I'm not learning, you make me think and feel about things that matter and things I'm intrigued by. I value those people in my life who can offer that experience to me. Thank you.

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 3:00 am:

You are quite welcome...and thank you for your comments, I do appreciate them.

I was always amazed at how simple parable and fables were able to teach lessons in a way that stayed with you for always...thought I'd give it a try....

OboesHonedIambs 63F

5/20/2006 3:49 am

I guess it would depend on what it was. People don't disclose hidden things about themselves to another unless they feel safe and that they can trust that person and have confidence that what they say won't be used against them later to zing 'em if they screw up. There are no safe words in disclosure. So I hope I'd make every effort to understand and respond with compassion. Now, if what they did was illegal and thus interfered with, or prevented the free will, life, property,freedom and safety of another human being, then I reserve the right to be a judgemental, opinionated stony bitch on the side of righteous justice.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 4:41 am:
I agree with you about the illegal aspect of the disclosure; rest assured, this wasn't the case here.

From what I've seen posted so far, there are some very compassionate people here...maybe the world won't go to hell in a handbag after all...

libgemOH 57M/53F

5/20/2006 4:16 am

This was beautiful L! I too would try to understand and accept the person. It takes a lot for a person to peel off the layers to get to WHO I AM and I know it takes a lot for others to peel those layers and let me know WHO THEY ARE TOO! -B

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 4:45 am:
Wooohoooo!!!! B's talking about stripping layers!!!!!


Sorry, lost my mind for a second back there....

Seriously, if one cares about a person, even as a friend, one will take the time to get to know that person on a personal level.

I have a friend on this site who, if she reads what I write and thinks I'm down or depressed, will be on the phone in a flash to see if I'm okay. Some people might think that's being lady & I see it as concern and compassion for a friend...because this friend knows my past with depression and worries about me. And I love her to death for that concern....

Thanks B......

ohcurious14 60M  
1684 posts
5/20/2006 5:06 am

Even in the most difficult instances, no matter what is said, Compassion is easily found when one bares their soul.
As i read my Submissives Journal, which i always do, it is both touching and heart wrenching. For in that journal, her soul is bared, boldly written on paper, her feelings laid out for her Master to read. The day i first read her journal, i realized instantly that because she bared all in their and it was there for me to read, and could not and would not use her fears against her, but would discuss them with her and help her to overcome them.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 10:07 pm:
You've touched on something that we in the Lifestyle have to deal with on a daily basis. Can our submissives speak their hearts freely without fear? So many so called Dominants won't allow any question of their authority whatsoever.

In my opinion, there has to be that 'neutral time' where both D & s can talk freely and without fear or embarassment.

It's not talked about as much as how to give a spanking, but it's more important...imho....


papyrina 52F
21133 posts
5/20/2006 5:27 am

i forgive most things,except violence and abuse towards children and and abuse of any age group,all the other stuff is nothing compared to those.

I'm a

i'm here to stay

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 10:09 pm:

True...and I'm with you 100% on not forgiving that type of sin.

But what about someone who felt that a secret might make you like them less...something like that? That's what I meant here...but you brought up a very good you know why I like you so much!!!!

TheLilFondler 34F
2576 posts
5/20/2006 6:22 am

i would try to be understanding... and as a few already said we all have our own little secrets and we all do tings like this from time to time... it takes a lot to let gaurd down, even to someone that you know very well... and it can also be very painful...

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 10:10 pm:

If you knew how long it took me to trust my lady, it would shock you...If one has been hurt too many times, it takes them awhile to open up and show themselves...

wickedeasy 68F  
31113 posts
5/20/2006 7:01 am

i don't believe it is hiding something - more a selective decision process - who gets to know you, the real you with all the icky bits that you don't even like to look at yourself

and only a few will ever get that close - deserve to get that close

trust is not a gift - it is something earned - and once earned needs to be honored consistently for it is easily shattered

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 10:12 pm:
Good point wicked....I was just relating what was said to me in a situation that happened in real time between me and a friend...who thought that once they reveal themselves as they really were, I'd be upset that they weren't truthful to begin with....

Thanks, darlin'....

ButteryDelight 59F

5/20/2006 10:22 am

A very moving story and so very true. Thank you for this made me cry because it was so beautifully expressed. I would not get angry, I would be compassionate and understanding.We all wear "masks" that we hide our true self behind. Sometimes a laugh or a joke is a way to keep sad thoughts at bay.

Speaking as one who has struggled with depresson and almost ended my life twice, all people need compassion. Yes, even those who murder and . Having compassion on those does not mean I accept what they did. It means I will compassionately put you away where you can not harm another.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 10:17 pm:
I did not mean to make you cry, Buttery...far from it.

I agree that we all wear masks to hide who we are...I think it's basic human nature to do that....

As to forgiving all sins, I have to admit that is something that is hard for me to do. As papy said above, there are some crimes that offend me to my core that I cannot find forgiveness in my heart....some people may think that's a character flaw on my part, I don't know.

Thanks for your comments....

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
5/20/2006 10:45 am

Aren't we all really hiding something? The really wonderful thing about blogland is that we get to reveal our inner, true selves.....without the fear of rejection that we might get in real life. Yes, my friend, I would certainly forgive them....and understand them....and maybe even love them a little more for finally feeling comfortable enough with me to reveal it.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 10:18 pm:
Now I know why they call you angel


MaggiesWishes 61F

5/20/2006 1:57 pm

Trust is a funny bedfellow. It's not easily put out there for anyone, and hardly beds everyone. It's hard to get and even harder to give.

I want to believe I would be a forgiving soul, should I encounter a situation with a friend that bares their true self ... I know I have forgiven in the past ... each encounter is weighed at the moment of revealing.

You are worthy of friendship. You are worthy of self.
Trust is a bridge between the two.

I like the methods to your madness ... which sounds pretty sane to me
warm huggies, dark one

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 10:26 pm:
You are on point when you say it is different for each encounter...have to take that into account...thanks.


dark one, eh? I kind of like the sound of that...

micahbiguns 52M

5/20/2006 3:55 pm

Depends on what is being hidden. Bad character? Violence? destructiveness towards others? Much harder to forgive,for me mostly not possible. Hiding in shadows or behind a mask or persona? well we all do that to some degree. I have scars that I will not show. They have lead to much taunting and ridicule. Basically humankind at its worst. Just because people don't always tell the whole truth does not make them bad. If a person has character or a lack there of then it comes th ru no matter how deep the shadows are how good a mask or front they hide behind. Sometimes it is for our protection sometimes it is to protect others as well. Just my rambling thoughts and musings on this matter

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 10:28 pm:

Very true...I think we've all reach a consensus on the fact that it depends on the relationship, the secret being reveal, and the impact that revelation will have.

WE all protect one form or another....

Thanks for your comments and welcome to the Fortress....

rm_DarkenMist 106F

5/20/2006 10:54 pm

hmmmm Hidden secrets and deception and lies seem to be in every person at one point or another....but I think it is somewhat wise and somewhat not wise for a person to hide behind a mask and here is the reason why....reasons its not good: 1 they may start to loose who they are in a true nature 2 it may hurt those that find out the truths that were not told to begin with ...reasons its good: 1 they start to gain balance in a very unbalanced world that today society has created 2 they slowly on their own time can face their fears and kill the demons that haunt them in their dreams as well as every waking moment ...Im sure there are many more reasons but thoses are the most important and most valuable. But it does show them one thing for sure...Your friends will always stick by your side no matter what lies was told and your friends will try and understand when perhaps they dont fully understand on what level that fear is based. My hat goes off to You Nightguy for being so loyal to your friends. *Smiles*

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 11:45 pm:

You are right...there are both good and bad points in hiding from others.

And I try to remain loyal to my friends...through thick and thin...


5/20/2006 11:03 pm

Grunt.. wheres club ???

Excellent post ! Loved the story and so touching..
Depends on circumstances of course..But if the true friendship is there.. a deep connection with sacred closeness don't you allow for a surprise or two or three.. I know I would at least take the time to understand, As I would hope they would understand when if I choose to reveal a side of me that is saved for real friends
We all wear mask in RL and in the cyber world... don't you think..

and I hope this makes since.. I'm really typing in my sleep..

under the stars

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/20/2006 11:47 pm:

Thank you...there's always room for surprises; that's what keeps all relationships interesting and dynamic...and yes, we all wear masks that we only remove for our true friends... over there...let's swing...ugh


5/21/2006 9:49 am

May I link this ?.. This is truly a magnificent post

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/21/2006 2:27 pm:
Go right ahead....thank you...

MamChelle 49F
1443 posts
5/21/2006 2:58 pm

Wow a hard question..but for me the answer is an easy yes. i have a forgiving nature. Even my enemies come to know that i will rise above and not hold a grudge against them. Does not a friend who was close to me deserve far more? i think so. *warm smiles* c

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/21/2006 4:22 pm: are of a more forgiving nature than I am....sometimes I am ashamed of that lack in me....

BadAssBlonde1 58F
4989 posts
5/21/2006 4:39 pm

It depends on what they were hiding. However, I am an understanding person when it comes to matters of privacy and who you let in your "Environment" to begin with. If it were a true friend, I would ask that they not hide things from me in the future. It makes it hard to fully understand what is really going on inside the person; therefore making it difficult at best to help. I would not banish/or as you say "turn my back" on them due to their fear of what I thought.

Lady Hunter/BAB

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/21/2006 11:30 pm:
Hunter, You & I have talked about this issue and I think we're on the same page....thanks....

NSAAddict 43F

5/21/2006 7:43 pm

A hidden secret about themselves that they fear would make me like them less... I'd be honored that they finally found the trust to confide in me despite whatever they thought the consequences would be and of course I would try to be understanding. I myself have many secrets, sharing them with people I trust is a vulnerability that I consider a gift.

A betrayal or a lie on the other hand is a different matter, depending on the situation I might forgive but I would never forget and that is much worse in my book. Wonderfully written and tthough provoking as always Dark Sage

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/21/2006 11:32 pm:

That's how I looked at it...I was honored that the person trusted me enough to confide in me.....thanks....

sportsfan362436 48F

5/21/2006 10:51 pm

I agree that Wwe all allow people to see only what Wwe wish for them to... and different levels for different individuals. Having been guilty of apologizing for my actions/thoughts too many times, I would have to opt for the side of forgivness... depending, of course the nature of the incident. I am of the opinion, that there are some things which are not only unforgivable, but deserving of a true ass whippin' as well... (things which have been afore mentioned).
As always, Ng Sir, a great... thought-provoking post. Thanx!

*Smiles, kisses n hugz*

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/21/2006 11:35 pm:
My dear sports,

I agree, the nature of the incident is the test of how much forgiveness is due, if any...


papyrina 52F
21133 posts
5/22/2006 1:16 am

its only a secret till the person gets brave enough to tell it,once its out in the open its rarely as bad as the person thought and 99% of the time forgiveable,evensome types of murder has some excuse and once a person has done time in prison who am i not to forgive if there time has been spent

I'm a

i'm here to stay

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/22/2006 1:44 am:
As I told someone else here, you have a forgiving soul, something that a lot of people, myself included, seem to have lost somewhere along the way....thanks....

rm_Melciber 62M
214 posts
5/23/2006 8:55 am

(NightGuy - I think I have a fear of telling some people in my life that I hang out on AdultFriendFinder
- - - because? - - -
because I think they will jump to conclusions and instantly label me "pervert", in their heads, and I can愒 go down the path of explaining what I get out of it.)

. . . . . . .

In my opinion we all have hidden ourselves from fear.

Recognising this and forgiving ourselves for curtailing our experience of our life is what matters.
Other peoples forgiveness is the icing on the cake.

If the process begins with someone elses forgiveness then that is good.
Forgiving oneself is where it is at ... it creates space for magic to happen.

Much of what we hide, much of what we try and display of ourselves, as our "healthy" persona, happens under fear.
It often starts when one is out of control, often when one is pre-teen - - - which may become compounded over and over again later in life.

Attempting to uncover/re-discover ourself is admirable.
Achieving this - - releases one from the bonds of irrational fear, as one discovers a deeper security within - - - and that expresses itself immediatly in all parts of one愀 life - - - as one feels safe about oneself.

When one trusts oneself it easier to extend trust to others.
When one experiences freedom one canNOT go back to the subjugation of fear easily.

(On the subject of trust . . . I like to extend trust 100% to people - this way I get to know people quickly - and where one shows the inability to support that trust it is withdrawn in that area with minimum pain. If someone finds that they can trust themselves more by shrugging off bad (fear-driven) behaviour patterns, then it is a time for rejoycing, supporting, strengthening and enjoying)

As you say NG - Walk a mile in anothers shoes. . .
let him without sin/fear cast the first stone . . .
judge not lest ye be judged - and especially don愒 judge yourself. . .

plus it is an honour to have someone come to You and with all sincerity say "I lied to You" - - - how much courage does THAT take - - - wouldn愒 you like to know and have a friend that has that much courage?

. . . . . . .

IF on the other-hand the exposure is an act of compliance and an attempt to involve you into a co-dependancy - - - as for instance an alcoholic looks to create people who support them - "enablers" - - - then this is no act of courage and revelation, but rather a disguised cry for help.
In this case it is best to step aside and let a professional do the helping.

. . . . . . .

Guess you touched a nerve here NG.
lots of great posts from lovely people.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/23/2006 10:35 am:
Excellent comment, Mel

It would appear that this was something on a lot of people's mind.

I hear you about being an enabler....something I hadn't thought of...thought this situation wasn't the case, I've known of several who did...and you're right, it isn't good.


ButteryDelight 59F

5/25/2006 5:15 pm

No worries, Nightguy, Sir. Crying is good for a person. I can't keep all of that inside. That is what got me into trouble and then into depression.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/25/2006 10:00 pm:
I hear you when it comes to depression.....I've dealt with it on a daily basis for the past 15 years.....

Thank you.....

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