So tired.......  

Nightguy_1961 56M
3324 posts
5/29/2006 3:30 am

Last Read:
6/4/2006 2:27 am

So tired.......

(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

Should've been dead on a Sunday morning
banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
- My Own Prison Creed

The Dark Sage dragged himself slowly up to his lonely tower overlooking his Dark Fortress and his Land of Shadow. He was exhausted as he slumped into his chair and rubbed his tired eyes. His gaze fell upon his scrying mirror, now covered in silk to keep the moonlight from activating its power. He thought to himself:

"For so long now, all I ever do is offer advice...words of comfort...words to make people feel better. Words to remind them that the dark is not forever and not something to be afraid of...a place where one can find safety from the world. But I feel as if I cannot go any further"

He thought of how many nights he had peered into his scrying mirror. When the moonlight hit it just right, the voices of those throughout the land called out...some asking for advice, some that were hurt...or lost...or lonely. And he knew he had to some way.

"But at what cost? Where do I go to find solace? I do what I can to try and fix things...but who fixes me when I am broken? Who comforts me when I am down...or hurt...or lost?"

In a momentary fit of selfish anger, he raised his fist to slam down on the covered if to shatter it into a thousand a way to shut out the voices...cut out the cries. But he hesitated...

"If not me, then who? Who will answer the questions? Who will offer comfort? Who?"

Ignoring his own fatigue and his own pain, the Dark Sage pulled the silk cover from the mirror. As the pale moonlight reflected off the mirror, a voice cried out, "Can somebody help me? I don't know what to do!"

With a heavy sigh, the Dark Sage leaned forward and softly said,

"I am here...let me help"

And the task continues...

One The only way is one
I feel angry I feel helpless
Want to change the world
I feel violent I feel alone
Don't try and change my mind
- One Creed

but in my despair, I know my lady will be there...

©NG61 2006

rm_smosmof2 68M
3240 posts
5/29/2006 3:49 am

good job, youngster. keep at it...

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/29/2006 3:59 am: must understand, I believe in unless you consider being 1700 years old a youngster...tired smile

Thanks and welcome to the Fortress.....

rm_smosmof2 68M
3240 posts
5/29/2006 4:14 am

Your post reveals a certain amount of impatience/exasperation most commonly associated with "youth", until the wisdom/maturity reasserts itself...

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/30/2006 11:56 pm:
More like exasperation....but I catch what you're saying....

BadAssBlonde1 58F
4989 posts
5/29/2006 4:29 am

As we have discussed before, you can't save the cyber world darlin' You know within yourself when enough is enough. Keep your chin up!

Lady Hunter - Slipping in and out sipping on java while I watch the dance from the ocean.

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/30/2006 11:58 pm:
I'm not trying to save the entire world...cyber or otherwise.....hell, I don't like a lot of people in this world to begin with......

I do what I can because I feel I must.....

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
5/29/2006 4:55 am

We will be here to fix you when you are broken

Purry {=}


Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/30/2006 11:58 pm:
There are some breaks that can't be mended.....some voids that can't be filled....some longings that can never be realized.....

wickedeasy 68F  
31321 posts
5/29/2006 5:53 am

there are many to help the Teacher, who will stand with His lady to offer solace, moments of quiet joy, days of living

the gift you profer is not unseen or unappreciated. it is valued and celebrated - and while you may not see all of the ways your words impact this world............there are people who go to their knees each night and thank the phantom in the fortress

i know i do

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/30/2006 11:59 pm:
At this moment in time and space, I am so wary of things around me, I don't know which way to turn......


5/29/2006 5:53 am

I am happy you have Lady but I am sorry you are so overwhelmed by all of us. Hugs to you and rest, relax, and allow Lady to heal and soothe you. {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:00 am:
I have forgotten how to relax, let alone rest......and there are some things that even my lady can't fix....and what if she weren't there....?

ButteryDelight 59F

5/29/2006 6:00 am

I for one am thankful for those words of wisdom. I ask not a lot. But, listen and therefore learn.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:01 am:
I am far from times, I consider myself a fool.....

ohcurious14 60M  
1684 posts
5/29/2006 7:46 am

I. too, feel that pain often NG, and yes I know it is overwhelming.
One of the most ironic things that has happened since I became a Dom is I am now more in tune with my emotions and feelings. I too want to be there for anyone who needs something, I too wanna be both the sounding board and and the giver of advise and wisdom, but even I have days to which I feel that no matter what you do or what you say, It feels like a lost cause.

When you came to my blog yesterday and saw the judgements placed to me without cause, you were there, doing what you do best, giving wisdom, knowledge, support and voicing your opinion also. But even these simple tasks for you can, at times, drain you. So never despair, for when the teacher himself is in need, his students and followers will appear.And in your case, you are blessed to have your loving submissive, Lady, there ready to serve in any way she needs to. I am thankful as a friend, honored as a learner and humbled as a Dom.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:28 am:
It goes much deeper than that...with a lot of variables to throw into the equation....but thanks......

GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
5/29/2006 8:46 am

wonderful post, thx 4 sharing

and hatz off 2 u

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:29 am:
Again, I can't grasp what is so wonderful about this...I was, in fact, ranting.....but thanks.......

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
5/29/2006 1:18 pm

OOo i wish i could hug all your pain and fears away,

I'm a

i'm here to stay

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:29 am:
Do you have a couple of lifetimes to spare for those hugs.....?

NSAAddict 43F

5/29/2006 7:54 pm

Hugs to you nightguy, your wise words mean so much to many and offer such comfort to those who need them most. I hope you know you can always find rest, comfort and solace in the arms and blogs of your friends. Hugs, NSA

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:31 am:
As I stated earlier, I feel I am more a fool than a wise man....but thanks.....


5/29/2006 8:53 pm

I have read many of my answers in your post that I was afraid to ask. I thank you for your sharing your knowledge and truth. Under the stars I send you strength and peace

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:32 am:
All I was doing was just writing....I never knew I was answering anyone's questions....but thank you for reading and visiting.....

MaggiesWishes 61F

5/29/2006 9:20 pm

*sending warm wishes on the gentle winds to wrap you in warm huggies*

Peace of mind be with you, Dark One.
I still see the glass as half full. Don't you?

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:33 am:
I've always been the half empty type...sorry.....

PurplePeach72 45F  
9199 posts
5/29/2006 9:43 pm

May you always know that you are not alone.
If you are weary, know that many grow weary with you.
When you have doubts, know that even the wisest doubt.
When you are overwhelmed, offer the spillage to those you can use it.
When you can no long give, be still and recieve.
When you can no longer offer advise, be still and take some yourself.
When you hurt, allow other to sooth your pain.
You help and love no one truly unless you help, love and care for yourself.
We all need a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry or claw, a name to scream in the throes of passion, you not only have your Lady but you have us. Use us for our energy as we use you for your darkness. Hang in there. It is always darkest before the dawn, and sleep the sweetest in the darkness's arms. {=}LeeAnn


Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:34 am:
I am so used to walking my path alone....I have no idea how to accept an offer.....even from my lady.....but thanks....

rm_daveman45nz 57M
42 posts
5/30/2006 1:17 am

I wish I could do something for you NG. I am here to listen if you should ever need it.



Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:35 am:
Thanks, but this is a trap of my own I'll have to find the trigger to release it....whatever that may be.....

MamChelle 49F
1443 posts
5/30/2006 2:07 am

*sends You my warmth and shares a bone weary sigh* Much love for You and lady....may W/we all find rest ...and peace. i sometimes wonder why they call this feeling the blues.....c

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:35 am:
Send your love to my lady....I wouldn't even know how to begin to accept it myself....but thanks.....

rm_metalmama69 43F
3878 posts
5/30/2006 10:18 am

This is wonderful! i needed that...thank You SO much

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:36 am:
I'm not sure what was so wonderful about it...I was kind of having a mental meltdown to be honest....but you're welcome.....

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
5/30/2006 2:06 pm

Everyone needs a person/place that we can fall apart and be vulnerable...someone who can woo and kiss the pain away and help us be whole again. Your Lady is that for you. I am deeply glad that you have her. Hang in there fellow shadow walker. Find the things that fill you back up and drink deeply of them....

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:37 am:
Yes....but what if even she can't help me? And what if she wasn't there.....?

Fox4aKnight1 44F

5/30/2006 7:30 pm


Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:38 am:
Thanks kelli....

peaches19555 62M

5/30/2006 8:29 pm

Tell your mirror that it is through a glass darkly that we all must see. To be helped is your blessing but in the helping is your joy.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:40 am:
I should not even worry about what others may think, but there are some that don't even take the time to see how the ones that reach out to help them are doing themselves.....


NGs_lady 65F
762 posts
5/30/2006 8:37 pm

Yes My Love i will always be here for as long as you need and want me.

NGs_lady/Lady Stee

Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:41 am:
I know you are there.....but what if you weren't? Has anyone ever considered that idea?

Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
5/30/2006 8:45 pm

We're here for you and I'm so glad your sweet Lady is there for you first and foremost.



Nightguy_1961 replies on 5/31/2006 12:42 am: just gets tough at times, watching from the sidelines....when others play and all I can do is watch quietly...knowing where my place is.....

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
5/31/2006 6:32 am

What if she wasn't there? you ask?

Find the things that fill you and drink deeply of them...

I have a saying; Follow your peace. Follow the people, events, activities, meditations, thoughts, moments.... that elicit a sense of peace. Make that a daily, ongoing mental and emotional exercise and watch life grow different before your eyes.

Your right. She may not be there forever...but she is now and following her and other things that bring you peace is an act of conscious happiness. I believe that happiness is a choice and an action that becomes habitual with time, attention and familiarity. And tantra wouldn't hurt either. LOL!

My two cents. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/1/2006 1:26 am:

Thanks...there are times when I just feel like I have to stand alone....hard to describe, I know....

wickedeasy 68F  
31321 posts
5/31/2006 7:20 am

my dear dear friend

perhaps this time you need rest and solitude. so i won't offer thoughts - but i will offer you a place to come and stay - without worry of being bothered if that is what you need


You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/1/2006 1:27 am:

Whether I am alone or in a crowded area....the feelings inside are still the same, no matter what....

But thanks......

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
5/31/2006 7:34 am

I think you have walked your path alone for a long time. Even the lovely lady at your side, while bringing you joy, doesn't ease the "alone" that you feel. Sometimes I feel the same way. I have love all around me.....I really do. But sometimes I do feel alone. I personally love that you are here...and that you give to me and so many others a piece of your life. But I wish there was a way to take some of that "alone" from you.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/1/2006 1:28 am:

I hate it when that darkest side of me claws it's way to the surface...because even I don't like that side of me.....

But thanks.......

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
5/31/2006 1:43 pm

if you were closer you bet i would have the time and energy

I'm a

i'm here to stay

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/1/2006 1:29 am:

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