My first mentor  

Nightguy_1961 56M
3324 posts
4/17/2006 11:31 pm

Last Read:
1/28/2015 4:55 am

My first mentor

Note: This is a continuation of the story of my BDSM experiences. To go back to the beginning, go to the following posts:
The Dark Sage reminisces on things gone by
My first step on my Path along the Lifestyle
Thank you for staying with me...NG61

The Dark Sage opens his journal and begins writing about his journey along his Path once again:

When I was living in Florida, I was gradually introduced to others who shared my interest in BDSM. I discovered that there was much more than just tying someone up and having sex with them...much, much more.

One of the people that I became friends with was a gentleman who was a couple of decades older than me. He was a gruff old SOB, but could wink and smile at the same time. We spend many a night sitting and drinking coffee...with me asking questions of him and his wife, who was his submissive as well.

One night, he made the offer to teach me what he could about the mechanics of BDSM; what ropes to use, the best knots, how to crop someone, the best way to use toys and such. I jumped at the chance, and that was where I began my 'formal' training.

Now, before going further, I want to clarify some things. I believe most of us when we first start along this path entertain notions of being either submissive or Dominant. I think we all go through questions at the early stages of getting to know our own sexuality. That being said, I want to let all those reading this: I am not submissive, nor am I bi-sexual; nothing against either...just not my cup of tea. I wanted to state that before going on any further.

My mentor believed that anyone who plans to be a Sir/Master should have some idea of what a submissive thinks & feels. As in the days of old, when an apprentice learned at the hands of a Master craftsman, I, too, learned from my Mentor. I not only knew how to tie a rope a certain way to restrain the wrists; I learned what it felt like. I knew not only how to flog someone, I experienced the feeling of a flogger on my back. Call it sensory imprinting, call it what you will...but it made an impression on me for life.

My Mentor explained it to me one late night: "Too many so-called Doms cause too much undo pain and suffering, because they have no idea what it may be like on the other side of the coin. My Mentor taught me to think about my partner at all times. I want you to do the same."

I assisted him at many a play party, mostly with rope work and the like. I do remember once when he allowed me to flog and crop his submissive at a play party. It turned out, the two of them had talked it over and the idea of me being involved in a public scene by myself would be my graduation, so to speak. I remember it very well: strapping her to the cross and running my hand on her back, then picking up the custom flogger. Taking a couple of test swings, I brought it down on her back, making her hiss with the sensation. I flogged her for several minutes, turning her skin red from the top of her shoulder to her thighs & calves. When I stopped, those assembled murmured their approval, and my Mentor bowed his head slightly and said, "Well done, Sir"

Those three words damn near brought tears to my was the highest compliment one can receive in WIITWD: recognition from your Peers. I think I walked about 2 inches off the ground the rest of the evening.

I parted ways as an apprentice with my Mentor some time afterwards, because he and his wife were leaving the state. I remember him telling me, "Never stop learning...never stop practicing. Remember someday, you will be passing on what you've learned. Do so with honor and dignity, not for me, but for yourself."

Several years later, I learned that he had passed away from cancer. I mourned his passing as I would a close family member.

It wasn't long afterwards that, due to a stroke of good timing, and the desires of a very horny dancer, I met my second Mentor...but that's a story for another time.

The Dark Sage closes his journal and pours a glass of merlot. Lifting it in a toast, he says quietly, "Salut, my old Friend...and thank you". Blowing out the candle, he sits in darkness and remembers old times.

©Nightguy_1961 2006

tillerbabe 57F

4/18/2006 1:15 am

That is so very beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/18/2006 1:35 am:
Thanks tiller,

The next chapter is the hardest one I wrote...brought back a lot of memories...and emotions

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
4/18/2006 4:53 am

i don;t think even my time on here and reading well written blogs like this,i will ever understand the partnership,sub,dom ,i must be so vanilla or just hate being told what to do lol,a true adolescent still

I'm a

i'm here to stay

Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/18/2006 9:24 pm:

There is nothing wrong with vanilla; just some of us like Rocky Road LOL

NGs_lady 65F
762 posts
4/18/2006 5:34 am

My love,

Once again, you have put out something that we all will enjoy reading. I am sure that you Mentor is looking down on you and smiling. I have seen you give information more than once; sometimes it's accepted, sometimes it's thrown back in your face.

For the ones that accept your knowledge and understanding, I say thank you.

For the ones that have thrown it back in your face and played their silly games, I say be damned. You are the people that claim to be Lifestyle and give it a bad name. Wear the shoe that fits you. Remember, your actions and words make the bed you sleep in. I hope it is what you want.

With all my love and respect,

Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/18/2006 9:25 pm:
Thank you, my lady...your words are appreciated, as always

MamChelle 49F
1443 posts
4/18/2006 10:39 am

i remember the first Mistress that mentored me...and the Dom, one never forgets good instruction. And now as i am begining to embrace the role as mentor myself, with a few, new and upcomming ...i well remember those lessons and find myself smiling remembering when i was where they are. *hugs to You and lady*

Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/18/2006 9:32 pm:
I still shy away from being a Mentor....been burned twice on that least online. But thanks for your comments

Fox4aKnight1 44F

4/18/2006 12:30 pm

Your first mentor sounds very good. But that is just my personal opnion. I tend to belive that you can't do one without knowing and experincing to some degree the other side of the coin. Even if it is not for you. I was Mistress to my ex bf before we parted. I find that I did not enjoy it that much. but that was also before I had much idea what is going on. I was his mistress at his request. So when I look into the lifestyle this next time I will be lookign from both sides and much more knowlege. Or so I hope.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/18/2006 9:33 pm:
He was a good Mentor

Good luck on your Journey

wickedeasy 68F  
31113 posts
4/18/2006 4:22 pm

funny isn't it how sometimes you just know someone is going to have a special place in your life -

clinks glasses with the student who became the mentor

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/18/2006 9:33 pm:
Ain't it though? *grins*

libgemOH 57M/53F

4/18/2006 5:32 pm

I am still listening with rapt attention and absorbing....-B

Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/18/2006 9:35 pm:

Keep on paying such close attention...and you'll move to the head of the pun intended *grins*

BadAssBlonde1 58F
4989 posts
4/19/2006 8:50 am


After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/19/2006 7:10 pm:
Thank you, darlin'

Babel__Fish 46F

4/21/2006 5:07 am

Nice to see another that you and your lady do not fall into the 'fakes' or 'wood-be' and I can tell this by reading your blog entries.

My Master also had a mentor and he had an apprentices that ended up not making the cut because the man was not actually a Dominant, turned out the man was trying to get close to my Master in hopes of becoming his male slave and like you explained a person that is going to Dominate another person needs to know how things feel so they have to sit on the side of the submissive for a while.

During the beginning of this fella's training my Master was searching for his slave to collar and found me, the guy soon found out that there was not future for him in respects to his goal with my Master. My Master and this man never had ANY sexual activity between the two but at the end when he 'came out' he told me that he had loved my Master. His little twisted agenda did not work and during my Master's search for me this guy kept telling him that there was no REAL women on and that he was waisting his time & money.

This person is still a part of our lives because of business but he is kept at an arms distance and he has apologized to me countless times for trying to come between my Master and I. He was even allowed to whip me once before all this come to light, he did not do it right and I had to correct him durning the process. We are not into heavy pain....more erotic whipping (Pleasing and serving) and this guy kept hitting me in the very same spot over and over again instead of moving from place to place on my back.

In the end it only made my Master and I a stronger unit and I do not trust the guy as far as I can throw him in regards to personal issues.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/21/2006 9:19 pm:

I am a bit suspicious of those who claim to be a Dominant, but have never taken time to learn from someone more experienced. Call it a character flaw on my part, but hanging around in the chatrooms, I've seen too many people who 'talk the talk' but can't 'walk the walk'.

I'm glad that your Master perservered until he found you. I would hate to think that some wannabee would have screwed things up and the two of you would have never met.

*sighs*How many times have I heard about wannabees concentrating there attentions on one part of the body when flogging, cropping, etc? It shows not only a lack of experience, but a lack of consideration...imho.

Thanks for stopping by, Babel...and I'll always take a hug!!!

Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
4/21/2006 2:36 pm

"Remember someday, you will be passing on what you've learned. Do so with honor and dignity, not for me, but for yourself."

In reading your words since I first started visiting here I expect that your mentor is very proud of you and please know that I am increasingly enlightened. Thank you.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/21/2006 9:20 pm:

I'm glad that you're getting something out of my scribblings....that means something to me......

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