Life can be tough ...  

New_2_it_all2 54M
12 posts
3/8/2006 2:38 pm
Life can be tough ...


Today my Dr. confirmed my understanding that I probably have between six and 20 months depending on how treatment proceeds. I know my wife doesn't like to hear about any of this, and despite time and again her not being able to help me or say anything to support me I found myself finally calling her @ 3:30 just to talk. After a moment or two without conciously meaning to I mentioned that the Dr. "had confirmed our prognosis" since I had told her this timeline several times before and she got upset. Not exactly what I was needing of course, so I found myself apologizing and hearing about how I "always do this" and apologizing again ... when all I wanted was to hear her say she loves me and that its going to be all right.

You can't choose who you love, but sometimes I wish you could change them a little. It just hurts so much sometimes to put up with stuff like no sex, six dogs in the house all the time, barking dogs, restrictions on spending etc. but not get the one thing I really need in return: affection and support. Oh well, I have my friends for that I suppose ...

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