Having fun and hurting no-one!  

New_2_it_all2 54M
12 posts
2/10/2006 8:07 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Having fun and hurting no-one!

I've made a wonderful new friend who has been featured in a lot of my fantasies lately: "A Goddess Today" is a wonderful lady who has graciously been letting me edit some photos for her and chatting with me.
Just as when Mis2yousir and I chatted I found her very normal, sweet and comfortable right from the start.
I am constantly surprised at how nice and 'normal' so many of the people I'm meeting here are! Even the same-sex offer I received was friendly and he seems like a great guy.
I guess it's true you can't judge a book by its cover. As sexual creatures mankind falters and hinders itself like no other animal on earth. Other animals are not ashamed nor do they hide their enjoyment of this normal and healthy act. So maybe it's not the act that's bad, but the repression and control that is all too often associated with it? I don't know, having been raised by religious zealots and married to a prude.
I had another good talk with my wife tonight, and she seemed surprised that I would consider our marriage "OK" but not fulfilling all my needs. Strange, after 3 or 4 serious discussions last year, me constantly complaining that she needs to see a doctor or therapist to help us with our sex life (or lack thereof) and flat out warning her that 'you can't keep the dog under the porch if you don't throw it a bone now and again' you'd think she'd understand things are not quite as good as they should and could be ...
I told her that I loved her and that if all else fails and something happened I would always think of her as a great friend and a wonderful roomate, but that we were not compatible in all areas. She agreed and pointed out that "no-one is 100% compatible" which is true ... the point I think she missed (and I didn't want to dwell on just then) was that the lower the percentage in the 'vital' areas such as emotional, sexual and personal needs the more likely the marriage is to fail.
My wife DOES understand me, and I think she cares for and loves me. She just isn't really capable of giving me all that I need, especially emotionally. She's not comfortable holding hands or touching, much less all that I want or need. I'm a very tactile person and lover open interaction and signs of affection, she things kissing the back of her neck and brushing her breast is 'groping' and stolidly refuses to see any other view. At the same time she's not comfortable with me getting what I need elsewhere, so what's a guy to do? Be miserable? Life is really just too short for that isn't it - especially when you are looking a less then five years left like I am. Hard decisions to make but who know, the day may come that I change my status from "pen pal and photographer" here back to full investigation mode ... and you know what? If I do I'm NOT going to feel guilty cause I'm going to keep talking to my wife until its clear that it's going to happen first. If she doesn't take action to correct the problem after a while then she made the choice not me ... right?

New_2_it_all2 54M
17 posts
2/14/2006 5:58 am

True - although I don't know that I'm "all" out in the open, since I haven't told her I was actively looking into I realized she wasn't serious about it being OK if she didn't know.

The fact is that I would have to hurt her pretty bad to get her to face that she has a problem, and I don't think it would change her anyway - perhaps I shouldn't have married a woman 12 years my senior or maybe I just jumped 'too soon' at all but except for certain areas (sex being a big one) its been good. And you don't hurt friends and lovers regardless, right? Not even for selfish or self-serving reasons (sigh) ... but I'm sure tempted with all these lovely young ladies here!

Thanks Honey!

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