If you can't give......Don't take!!!!!  

NGs_lady 65F
419 posts
1/19/2006 9:04 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

If you can't give......Don't take!!!!!

It has come to my attention that:

1) People are taking...What this means is you are willing to say, 'I have a problem. Give me advice. I don't understand, explain it to me. I hurt; make it feel better. I need a friend; be there for me.' This is taking from a person. You are taking time, brain power, feelings, and, yes, love from this person. You go to your email or IM and pour it out and expect answers. Most of the time, you get answers or questions that make you see the answers you were seeking. You(or your friend) get into a fight with someone and you say 'take my side'. You expect this person to to be at your beck and call; if not right away, as soon as possible. And they have to agree with you no matter what.

2) Do people give? What this means is when was the last time you simply sat down at your keyboard and said, 'Hiya! Here's a hug...maybe you need it, maybe you don't. But it is here. Do you have a problem? Is there something I can help you with? Is there something you don't understand? Do you need to talk about something? Is there something that is bothering you? You are my friend and I want to help.'

No, sadly, most people just take, take, take...and never give.

How much have you been given? How much did you take? How much did you give back?

I've talked to people on the phone and on IM. I hear the same thing: people ask me questions about everything or want advice. I give them advice, but where do I go? They seem to take up all my time. I get called. I get pulled into things. If I remain neutral, I AM NOTHING!!!

BTW, it is just common courtesy to at least answer an IM or an email if you know the person....even if it's to say 'Get f*#@ed!! I don't even want to talk to you!!'

BadAssBlonde1 58F
4989 posts
1/21/2006 8:21 am

Here Here dear lady! After you read this to NG and I the other night; I listened. Your further detailing of incident after incident; I listened. In return, it made me think back over the years. I enternalized those around me and that had "been there" or taken credit for "being there" or viewed themself as "a friend" Sadly; my conclusion was this at best. What you have said here. I see that this blog has yet to be viewed by any; although many are wanting to know the finer details of your illness. Throughout the disaster on the Gulf Coast; I know you were there for many. To listen. To lend an ear. In return; it has come to my attention that some of the "good friends" that were hit by the disaster or affected have failed to return that ear to you. I say, shame on you folks. You know better. Those that are asking you to "take their side" are insecure within themselves and have nothing but the internet to entertain them. I appreciate you remaining neutral with the disagreements that I have had with some in the Basement for the mere fact; it was not your place nor did you have the finer details of the reason why my statements were made. I certainly hope that your blog gets the attention of many that need it. I can say this without a shadow of a doubt; you have been nothing but a dear friend to me and mine. They appreciate you for who you are; as I do. I sit here now thinking how you must feel at this time while awaiting a call from your dear NG for an update. I promised not to panick, or come there until I heard. He was strong throughout the night. We spoke of the many "good times" that we had had. I missed you being there. One thing does come to mind. I certainly hope that your illness has not been brought about by those "takers" I know who they are as well as yourself. Don't let them gobble you up; for they will if you let them ... It sounds bad to say this, however at this time you know I go to the bottom line of it all; which in many cases is not always pretty, but always sound advice and above all; the truth. Tell those takers to "go elsewhere" ... this is your time. It is time that they gave back to you. You have no need to explain a damn thing to anyone; you don't owe them that. If your friends are like this in "good times" ...you certainly as hell do not need them during the "difficult times" or the "bad times" ... This I know dear lady. The one thing that came out of your blog here...was the fact that I did indeed, enternalize and believe it or not; many shall feel the difference within themselves. For those of you that think this is a "give me" world ... get a job! Down here in the South...we will give but for so long; and then you are the one that ends up loosing; but you have lost something that you will never have the luxury of knowing again; a dear friend. I love you lady for having the courage to post this; for listening; and for being a dear friend; for being who you are and not what everyone else deems you to be.

For all Time,
Lady Hunter aka BAB - Waiting in the Wings

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

wickedeasy 68F  
31321 posts
1/23/2006 1:07 pm


as ever, you see the reality and you speak the truth. there are few that do. your honesty and your fierce love and huge heart are cherished by me - i have found clarity around issues in our talks and have laughed long and hard, cried as well. i see you give and give, to friends, to NG, to your family, to His family - i see your boundless energy and your capcity to understand and see to the heart of matters.

and when i heard, i thought of my grandfather, always the center of teh family, so strong - the one people turned to for advice, for understanding, for a willing ear or a strong shoulder

people often take for granted people like you Lady - assuming you don't need anything because you never ask - leaning on you, time and again - never noticing the small list to one side that speaks of the pressure you feel

as Hunter says, and god knows you two were separated at birth in my opinion, THIS IS YOUR TIME

let those that love you, cherish you, see you for the amazing woman that you are, take care of you for a while -

this world is a better place because you grace its lands - SO TAKE CARE OF YOU, let us take care of you

we love you


You cannot conceive the many without the one.

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