The Blog Begins!  

MyRendezvous1 53M
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10/12/2005 10:20 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Blog Begins!

It's been two days since I signed up. Not sure if anyone has much had a chance to review my profile as I keep changing it! <laugh>

I read through several hundred profiles and searched through 10's of thousands. I wrote to a few people to say hello, I found one person's profile to be especially interesting so I wrote her twice.

There are so many people looking for something and from what I read many of the women get tons of e-mail and it's probably hard to sort out who's of interest and who is not. Within 24 hours I received an e-mail from an alleged 20 year old that wants to do all this wild stuff to me. (Obviously written by some guy) <laugh>, and they obviously didn't read my profile - I figured they were one of those porn folks.

It is very clear to me that there is a sea of men here <laugh>. I wish I could have multiple profiles to just click and switch depending on my mood for the day as I am a very diverse person.

It's been fun exploring "why am I here", on the surface the site name says it all, but truly from what I have read there are deeper reasons for being here than just finding a "sex" partner. Really, what woman out there has problems "getting some" if they really want some.

I am finding many folks that really want an adult friend, with the possibility of benefits which is an intrigue.

But why am I here? I am in a selectively open relationship. I've been monogamous for about 5 years, my partner has finally explored a friendship outside of us and has really been blessed by that friendship. Over the years I have realized that we all have great capacity to love, care for and heal others. Most of us are just to afraid by social or religious dictates to "be" what is natural for us to be.

I realized the other day that I missed having a female friend where by we had fun together in a mutually caring "extra" or special relationship. These type of relationships can be amazingly rewarding and do not mean that there is anything wrong with the "current" relationship.

I've been there, bored, having "affairs", aka cheating. I've been there when I was younger simply because I enjoyed sex <laugh>, I've been there because those things bolstered my ego when in truth I had low self esteem. I've been there when I was deeply hurting because my mate said some things that devastated me. I've even been there to "get even".

But I've also been there once before with someone who was a friend to me and I was not in need of anything really other than a friend. Our lives changed and we moved on from each other. It was more like our paths came together for a time and then went their separate ways. It was a good and healthy friendship/relationship for both of us. That is what I am looking for here, is that special adult friendship that has no destination, but is a special place to be enjoyed to enrich each others life in the present.

I feel very blessed when I think over my sexual life. I've been sexually active since the age of 14 and only once did I have sex with someone I really didn't care about - I didn't like that so much <laugh> that the partners I have had since have always been wonderful caring people. I haven't had a lot of "raw" sex, i.e. sex for the sake of sex. I've played the role with some who I was in relationship with <laugh>.

I really need to care about the person I am with to be intimate with them. I do enjoy kissing as it can be much more intimate than "sex".

Oral sex is an interesting example. Throughout my live I have been amazed at how many women do not know how to do this well. Equally stunning is how many men have never enjoyed a woman who knows what she's doing. As appropriate I have educated my past women friends on the fine art of how to blow a guys mind...having said that...some women do not need any education at all <laugh>.

A spiritual path - odd bringing this type of subject up in a place like this. This is a part of search as well, which is more intimate than sexual. Sexual energy is powerful. It can heal, enrich and empower our lives - it can also hurt us very deeply.

When I was in college I had a friend who was a self proclaimed Lesbian. We had differences of opinions on everything <laugh>. Something I learned back then was the power of simple love, caring and compassion. One day she shared with me her story, I felt very honored that she trusted me about the abuse she experienced at the hands of her father, uncles and other male members of her family, including abuse by a step mother who was jealous and tied her up and abused her. I was horrified to tears at her story.

I've heard stories of such things and as I have lived my life I am amazed at what experiences women have had. Anyway, my friend and I over time became wonderful lovers. I do not like to judge my experiences or be comparative, but she is one of my most fondest and heart felt deepest positive experience memories. Sex is sex, but sex or better stated lovemaking with caring, compassion, humor and just the joy of trusting and being with someone is a blessing.

I have been amazed at how many men have never experienced making love, but have only experienced sex or just the physical pleasure of the body - but not the mind or spirit. I have been stunned throughout my life how many women have never enjoyed sex, but sex has been a tool or a "thing to do" in a marriage or relationship because they were never free to love and express themselves. (Often deeply rooted in religious beliefs).

My college friend went on to get married and have a normal life. (Nothing against lesbians - but if the root of that is deep pain and suffering from abuse - healing is a good thing.)

During the last 5 years I have paused my life and spent a lot of time answering questions I have had regarding my life experiences.

I came to peace with realizing that I love my fellow human beings. I especially love women and I love having women in my life. It's not a more the better kind of thing. Having a special adult friendship/relationship takes a lot of energy. I can't imagine having more than one outside of my day to day partnership.

In our day to day - that is a hallowed and very special relationship. Most of us don't find someone we can live with in peace, love and joy day to day. I have yet to meet anyone who can be the end all, be all to someone day after day, year after year, decade after decade. Yet this special relationship in our lives if we find it grows in depths of love, caring and respect. I cannot for example imagine being with anyone else in my life day to day than my primary partner. There is great depth of love and respect there.

With that has come a release of sense of "ownership" of one another. We are both healers in our own way. We've grown up and out of our upbringings which taught "sex was bad" kind of thing.

I am interested in perhaps exploring "the great rite" and/or tantric sex, or aloha-hi - this requires deep intimacy.

I am also interested in enjoying the "honeymoon" phase of a new lover - the unbridled passion of simply being with someone you are learning to enjoy. Not just sex, but sex with passion - it's rejuvenating energy - gives you that naughty smile during the middle of the day. Something you look forward to experiencing again because it's not part of your "day to day".

It can be a magick'l experience for those who understand what I am talking about here. So I am seeking that one special person. I do not believe in ownership of my fellow human beings.

I fully realize that most married women that are looking for something "extra" do so out of a deep need, or something missing. I understand that pain, I've been there. It is unlikely you will fulfill that need outside of your marriage, however, you may learn what that need actually is in order to heal the marriage. It's a tough one, because what you need to learn and experience to heal your marriage...may very well end your marriage.

We still have barbaric views and contexts regarding "ownership" of each other in relationships and marriages.

I have chosen to be "unmarried" instead of being institutionalized. It's been some of the happiest and most growth filled years of my life. Oddly enough I've had fewer "lovers" being single than being married and I understand now why that is.

I have greater respect for women and for sexual relationships. I understand the spiritual component that most miss. I understand what women needs to accept about themselves in order to truly enjoy a relationship with a man rather than just being an object which is fun for women, but in the end a very lonely place.

Books are written every month on the subject, magazine articles every week...women are searching for something.

I didn't realize what happened when I was in college...or the patterns that showed up in my own life through many wonderful experiences.

I am looking forward to finding that special someone I know I am meant to meet and journey with life with for awhile - just a journey, no destinations other than the joy we bring each other from time to time.


- David

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