A Little More Funny...  

Mistress 47F
13 posts
3/4/2006 7:46 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A Little More Funny...


A friend of mine e-mailed these to me. Some of you might have already read these, but even so......I think they are funny enough to read over and over. ENJOY!

"Hello, is this the Sherriff's office?"
Yes
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Virgil Smith. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"
Thank you very much for the call, sir.

The next day, the Sherriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood......finding no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
(the phone rings at Virgil's house.)
"Hey Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sherriff come?"
Yeah!
"Did they chop your firewood?"
Yep!
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!"

(who says rednecks aren't that bright?........lol)

Up for another? Read on...........

"Learn to Pay Attention!"
First-year students at OSU's Veterinary School were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The Professor started the class by telling them, "In veterinary medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is not to be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body. The Professor then pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the dead cow's butt, withdrew it.........and stuck it in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing" he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitating for several minutes; but eventually, took turns sticking a finger in the dead cow's butt and then sticking it in their mouths.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked and them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention!"

You say gimme some more? Okay, here's one for the road......

Her elderly grandfather had just passed away, so Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear" replied granny. "Many years ago...realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even.....nothing too in and out on the dong."
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued. "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along!"

lifeisablast333 55M

3/4/2006 9:00 pm

funny stuff....the redneck


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