My Mind Boggles  

MissAnnThrope 57F
11679 posts
2/1/2006 1:54 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My Mind Boggles

I've been noticing a pattern on this site the past few months. It's not a good pattern, either. It is the pattern of, if a woman won't cyber or have phone sex, she must be a lousy lay.

Now, did I miss a memo or something? It says right on my profile, I don't do cybersex, as I can't masturbate and type at the same time and I don't do phone sex. If I was going to be a phone sex operator, I'd be running my own 900 number. I also tell people, right in my profile, just because I meet you, it doesn't mean I'm obliged to fuck you. I make all of this clear. I insist people read my profile, before I'll even agree to IMing with a person. If they're a standard member, I mail it to them. There is a quiz too, if they don't comment on it beyond something like, "Nice pic."

So, what have I been getting from 99% of the men on this site, mostly in IMs? Things like this, which is the latest: "I prefer intelligent women above all...but intelligence doesn't breed sexual, do not come across as sexual without my asking sexual questions or even keeping the subject on related things somehow." Mind you, this is someone who had my profile all but memorized. Who was reading it every day. But he thinks he's some exception to the rule about cybersex?

Damned straight if someone keeps trying to get me into a cybersex session, I will steer them away. Why, you may ask? Well, I've been online since the early 90s. Long before this site even existed. But I learned one thing early, from IRC, especially when it comes to men online... If they're looking for cybersex, chances are, that is all they want. The fantasy. I have never met anyone I cybered with in those days. Of course, they all wanted to meet me, so they said, but always had an excuse. But hey, can we cyber instead? Hell no! I'm not going to give myself carpal tunnel typing, so you can give yourself carpal tunnel masturbating.

The same goes for phone sex. You will never get them off the phone and into a real meeting. They just want to masturbate to a voice and then go to sleep.

Now, I've been seeing a lot of men in the chat rooms saying, they won't meet women who won't have phone or cybersex first. Why? Because if a woman won't do those things, she's obviously not very open about sex. When we ladies tell them, no, we're not going to service someone we haven't met, they get pissed off. We're all dried up old hags. It's gotten to the point where my line in the rooms is, "Any hotties into short, fat, sarcastic old hags for a bad time?" The joke has actually carried over to a group, called Hags Unite!

But I am seriously wondering about something. I really do think I missed the memo saying we ladies need to be tested with phone or cybersex before we're to be met. In the past few months, I have had dates set up, only to have them cancelled, because I wouldn't cyber or do phone with these guys. Mind you, all of them know in advance that the date is to be only dinner or lunch or coffee. I never promise anything else.

But this brings me to another point. The women I know who do have phone sex or cybersex with these guys and do meet them all run into the same problem. The guys think since they've already had sex of a sort, they can forgo any niceties and just meet up for some hard fucking. "Oh, I know we were supposed to have dinner, but after we had sex on the phone, let's just have sex for real." Then these women feel hurt that a guy would do that to them. They all thought the guy had class before they met him. No, if a man has any class whatsoever, he's not going to pressure you into having sex with him in any way, shape or form.

One of the lines I love that so many of you use after a few days of chatting and trying to lead me into a cyber session is, "But you're talking to me here. Don't you want to fuck me?" No, I haven't met you. I can't make the call on if I want to have sex with you or not. I can tell you in all honesty, I met people from this site and elsewhere, where we have everything in common on paper. We get on the phone and the call lasts 12 hours. We think it's great! A real connection is made! Then we meet... And we can hear each other thinking "ewwwwwwwww..." It happens. I've met some of my best platonic guy friends that way. All of whom have told me, they're glad I refused to cyber with them, as if I had and we met, they never would have spoken to me again. As I get to know these guys better, I have actually told them that I dodged a bullet by not getting romantically involved, as they have major issues.

Which is another thing. If you refuse to meet a woman, even for dinner or coffee because she won't fuck you online or the phone, you have major issues. You have a predetermined idea of what every woman you encounter should be like. You spend way too much time reading pornography and expect all women to be like the stories you read. When you get to this point, it's time to turn off the computer and start interacting with people in real life again.

I am not a sex therapist. I am not a sexual surrogate. I am not a phone sex operator. If I was, you'd be paying through the nose for my services. Respect my limits, as you expect me to respect yours.

Fox4aKnight1 44F

2/1/2006 8:06 pm

I have seen the same trend MissAnn. I swar that today I went into chat to see about telling a friend about something and low and behold some guy asked me if I was a pro.. I was confused at first because my mind was focused elsewhere. It then registered....he means am I an escort?!?!?! But just to get all that clear I asked him Pro how? Mind you this guy had a gold profile I said (after reading his profile0 have you read my profile. (still not understanding) He said no. I am dumbfounded. He finally goes and reads my profile or so I assume and he comes back and asks me again if I am a pro. I am like wtf!!! So I ask him does he mean bisnesswoamn or pro hoker. He finally admits to hooker and I told him no. I can't belive how polite I was. But I didn't want to tart a fight in the chat room. I was VERY angry about that. I think this goes back to froggers recent posts on insulting gals to get them to fall for oyu.
Sorry that was a bit off topic .
anyhow hugs

TheLilFondler 34F
2576 posts
2/1/2006 9:52 pm

i agree!!!!!!!!!!!!! very well put

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

pseudohippie 51F

2/2/2006 1:10 am

No one asks me for phone sex!!!!!! (do you think it's Dark's fault?) lol

I used to be a phone sex addict, btw. I give good phone.

( one ask me to do it, k?)

blueguy1051 61M

2/2/2006 1:57 am

I find this very strange. The only times I have had cyber sex was when a woman insisted, and I've stopped doing it because it is completely unsatisfying. Yes, those that I did it with seemed to assume when/if we finally met that it was understood we would have sex. I still took them out, let the seduction, the mystery run. That's so much of the fun!

But I really don't understand the part about not wanting to meet someone who won't cyber. I guess I would tend to agree with you that they only want to fantasize, and are too cheap to buy a lady dinner.

As to the "pro" thing, I would assume that's the only way he's ever been laid.

8337 posts
2/2/2006 5:19 am


You are intelligent enough to know that regardless of how many rants you make about the same issues, the same guys will be sending you the same e-mails, asking the same things, with the same set of expectations.

What's the point? Nothing changes. Bypass those guys and talk to the guys who have something "real" to say. It's very simple.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

redmustang91 58M  
8917 posts
2/2/2006 10:16 am

Funny, what ever happened to skin on skin sex? I am totally uninterested in cyber or phone sex! I say the little holes on the phone receiver are too small for me! I rarely can get any woman to actually meet for lunch or drinks and discuss the idea of being lovers. What a sad state of sexuality... I wish you were a left coaster Miss Ann, we could be great friendly lovers!

cuteNEway 42F

2/2/2006 3:11 pm

there's another addition to that...the ones that ask these key questions to gauge if you are the (in the wise words of MissAnn) perfect spermburping gutterslut they seek:

1- do you swallow?
2- do you do anal?
3- do you do girls?

If any or all of these is a no they say you have hang-ups and decide not to "waste their time" with you.

Mind you these are guys that are great in their profile and fabulous in chat...but as soon as you go to IM that's what you get...~SIGH~

Will I ever have that wonderful set of regulars you and I dream of MissAnn?

NickRules999 40M
9464 posts
2/2/2006 3:36 pm

My advice to guys who "need" cyber: go to the cybersex room on Alt.

Personally, I find cyber amusing. It doesn't do a thing for me. All I really do is humour who I'm speaking to. But it does give me something to think about later on. Plus, guys expect to meet who they cybered with. I don't. I cybered with someone on Alt that I know I'm not gonna meet. I know this coz she lives in the United Kingdom, and a trip to England is not in my plans, short term, nor long term. So, I view cyber as a way to connect with people that you can't personally.

But I don't need cyber. I never have. In most cases, the cyber I've had was initiated by the girl I've cybered with. I have initiated a few, but never in the regional rooms. I mostly chat in the Moutain Zone room on this site. It's more of a community than anything. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I can feel your pain. I see it all the time in even in the Mountain Zone. Guys "needing" to get laid, then insulting those who won't do them. There are a handful of nice guys who would rather just talk than jump in someone's pants. Sadly, we are the minority.

And, yes, I often refuse total strangers. It doesn't happen often, but I'm not gonna meet someone that I just barely talked to in the chat room. Case in point, this girl from Carson City. After a week of talking, she wanted to drive from Carson to Kaysville (where I live) and stay for a week. She didn't care that I worked during the day, and even said she'd sleep on the floor, at the house. Can you say psycho? I told her the road trip shoud be rethought. After all, we didn't speak that long. How well do I know her? How well does she know me? I visited a friend of mine in Idaho a full year after meeting her online. A year was sufficient time. This other girl, I guess, was desperate. Needless to say, the road trip never took place. And I was relieved.

That was off the subject, I know, but it's all relevent.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
2/2/2006 3:38 pm

Fox, there are guys all over the chat rooms who think we're all pros or working for the site and pull the ploy, "well, if you're real, you'll meet me now." Fucktards.

Thanks lil!

pseudo, you know, I'm more than willing to take MrDark off your hands, so you can be free to have phone sex...

Div, see, the problem is, they're all quite good at acting like they have substance, then pulling this shit after how ever long. They have something real to say, to start. However, then they start asking for cyber and get like that when I say no. It's the current trend.

red, heh. Reminds me of a line I used to use about phone sex... "I'm never having phone sex again! Not after that trip to the ER. All the doctors, nurses and orderlies laughing behind my back, the resident on duty selling the x-rays to rotten dot com... Damned princess phone." But I agree about skin on skin. Cyber and phone sex tend to mean someone is afraid to meet. But red, you know if I was a left coaster, you'd never look at me twice. I'm short, fat and I smoke like a chimney.

Fox4aKnight1 44F

2/2/2006 10:07 pm

`LOL Ann .......what an appropriate name for them....

8337 posts
2/3/2006 3:38 am


Assuming they're within local area, do they interest you enough to actually meet them, thus cutting out all the other bullshit?

You're a smart woman, Ann, so you should be able to see through the front they put up and decipher whether there really is any substance to them or if they just want to fuck and run.

Make things real and everything will reveal itself.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
2/6/2006 11:41 am

Fox, I wish I could take credit for the word, but it's an old Usenet term.

Divison, they start out being nice and respectful to me. But once they start pressing for cyber sex or phone sex, I lose all interest. Now, as far as being able to tell if they're putting up a front, that is next to impossible, some of them are so good at it. Now, some of them do have some substance, but can't take no for an answer. The ones who do take no for an answer, or allow me to get them off track and not say a word about it and never try again are the ones I meet. But yes, people do tend to reveal themselves. It can take a while in some cases, in others, it can happen in a matter of hours. I'm just hoping this phase ends soon. There are cases I haven't blogged and that I won't be blogging that would make your hair stand on end, let me tell you.

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