Me Love You Long, Long Time  

MissAnnThrope 57F
11679 posts
5/20/2006 1:16 am

Last Read:
2/3/2007 4:25 am

Me Love You Long, Long Time

Now, most of us have heard of the Nigerian or 419 scam, right? You get an email out of the blue from some guy who says that he's rich, but the Nigerian Government won't let him get his money out of the bank. But they'll allow him to transfer all that money to your bank account and he'll give you a cut. Most of us are onto that one, right? Well, the scammers have changed their M.O.

The scammers have moved onto dating sites. I was already suspicious of that, as in chat I was encountering way too many men in Nigeria who within five minutes of me goading them started telling me how they loved me and let's go to IMs. They want to come to this country and be with me. Yeah, right. Well, my suspicions were confirmed the other night, watching the news.

On the Channel 5 local news, otherwise known as the liberal wing of Fox News, they did a story on people in the area who have been scammed on dating sites. It is the new Nigerian scam. They go after people who are vulnerable, they use pictures from modeling websites and they always claim to be an American stuck in Nigeria and they need money to get back to this country, where they want to spend the rest of their lives with the person they've been chatting with. During the story, they mentioned a group on that site named after a race of people in Gulliver's Travels, called Romancescams. I went and took a look and did end up joining the group so I could look through the database and pictures the scammers use.

The tactics these scammer use are amazing. They go after people who are just too trusting and who won't pick up on the fact that someone who was born and raised in this country wouldn't speak in broken English. The typical MO is, they're working in some other country and they didn't get paid. The boss ran off with the money. Or they had an injury and had to pay for the hospital. Or they were mugged, beaten up, had to give their ailing relatives all their money and now the hotel won't allow them to leave until they settle their bill and btw, they also need money for the plane ticket. But as soon as they get back to this country, they will forever be in love with this person. Please send me money by Western Union and I'll send you a massive check. While I can't get any money from anyone while I'm in this country, I can pick up Western Union payments and send you a check. Uh-huh. The check is always for far more than the scammers claim. But they only want a portion of that check sent back to them, as the rest will be to buy the wedding gown, set up housekeeping, etc.

Yes, people do fall for this. Which is why the group was spawned. I've been reading the various scams over there. One person was leading on a scammer who claimed to be in NYC and needed money to send to her father in Nigeria, whose business is failing. He was immediately suspicious, got her to connect to his FTP server and what do you know? Turns out she was in Nigeria. Needless to say, "she" won't be getting any money from this guy.

These are mostly reasonably intelligent people who fall for this, if not very web savvy. I have seen the scammers go from room to room here, looking for victims. There was one I followed around for a week, screaming at him, "What are you doing trying to pick up other women, when you pledged your undying love for me!?" Yes, I know I need a life. Shut up. I don't want to hear it.

The message board, which is mostly support for people who have been scammed and also to educate people so they don't get scammed, has a very extensive database. Whenever possible, they list the name the scammer is using, the name of the model and modeling site the pictures were stolen from, the email addresses of the scammers, IM ids of the scammers, the site where the scammers met their victims. I kept seeing a few sister sites of this one mentioned. Mostly it was Senior Friendfinder, Asian Friendfinder and the holier than thou, BigChurch. There was a message tonight from someone on Friendfinder who has identified several dozen scammers in Nigeria, using modeling pics already in the message board's database. Which means, the scammers are probably over here too. Oh, what am I saying? I already know the scammers are on this site.

The scammers are mostly Nigerian, but there are people in other countries who are doing this too. Russia is a biggie, it would seem.

Now, what I found interesting was, within an hour of signing up for this group, I got an email from someone who claims to be in London, working for the non-existent Intelligence Office and Crime Control Commission. Telling me his office catches scammers and recovers money and I should "reply soonest." I really did have a hard time catching my breath laughing. Even before I saw there was no real email address, no real contact information, just a throw address at "that site," I knew it was yet a new scam. No one who speaks English as their native language would say soonest in what is supposed to be a business letter. Not if they're running a legitimate business.

I just wanted to tell you all about the latest scam. Do warn your not-so-bright lonely friends who grasp at straws too. The lonely who are dying to be loved seem to be the main victims of this. And remember, if you feel the urge to start sending people you've never met money based on hollow and meaningless promises, contact me. At least I'm more creative than these people.

The picture? A Russian model whose picture has been used on personal sites all over the web by scammers.

haversack_smith 41M
6192 posts
5/20/2006 1:41 am

However it works out, if you have to pay someone to love you, that ain't real love.

Thanks for posting this, hopefully it'll put some people on their guard. Almost makes me glad I don't have any money for the scammers to go after, lol.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 6:50 am:
What do you mean? Of course it's real love! *snicker*

That's one of their tactics. Once they know they have a person hooked, they start with, "you don't love me, or you would help me out of my difficulties." Almost everyone has dated someone at some point who they've had to lend money to. So it doesn't seem to occur to very trusting people that this is a scam. Especially when the money will be returned. It's too bad I have morals. Or I would be on my way to a country where I could pull this off.

rm_LoyalCumpany 47M
3204 posts
5/20/2006 1:48 am

After having worked in the banking industry for a few years now, I've heard of and seen victims of some of these scams.

Amazing what people will do and fall for.

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 6:54 am:
I'm constantly amazed that people have never heard of the Nigerian scam. I see someone is from Nigeria or claims to travel there and red flags go up and warning bells go off. I used to write back to the ones who were pulling the classic scam. They'd never respond to anything I had put in the return mail, just another form letter, from some script. It's no fun to play with scammers if they're going to ignore everything you say to them.

JuicyBBW1001 56F

5/20/2006 2:53 am

I have gotten emails with all sorts of claims like this I just report them as spam and move on.


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 6:58 am:
Well, their favorite targets are single parents and BBWs, from what I can tell. Most of the scammers in the database at the message board came from a single parents site and a few BBW sites. I don't get any emails from Nigeria. I encounter them in chat, pronouncing their undying love, within 10 minutes.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 8:41 am:
Ack! That should say proclaiming, not pronoucing. This is what happens when I answer comments without enough caffeine in my system.

rm_VoodooGuru1 50M
2053 posts
5/20/2006 4:14 am

Why are YOU telling us this?

That is to say, I should think that the administrators of this site - if only to minimize their exposure - would warn its members of these scams if they're being perpetrated on their site.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 7:05 am:
But they do, sort of. Scroll to the very bottom of the home page. You'll see, "Learn more about bein safe online." Very bottom, center column. In other words, all but hidden, as how many people actually scroll down there? The FAQ used to have more of a place of honor, much further up. But over the years, it's sunk to the bottom. It hasn't changed at all since I joined. This is from the FAQ:

3) Instant love may not be what it seems. While you may feel an instant connection or powerful attraction to a person online, this does not qualify as falling in love. It may however fall under puppy love, infatuation, and even lust. But scammers and con artists have used the "I'm in love with you" angle offline for countless years. What's stopping them from going online to make their next score? Love takes time no matter what the fairy tales imply. Red flags are people who, after minimal online contact, express their undying love. Other hints may be that shortly after talking about being in love with you, they also mention how broke they are, how they just got laid off from work, or how their accountant took off with all their money. While the other person may just be a lonely soul who's truly attracted to you, you can never be sure. Slow things down and don't let "love" rob you blind.

4) Get their background checked, especially if you’re planning to take the next step and meet the other person face to face. By that point, you should know their name, so put your mind at ease with a background check. You can find several services online, many for a reasonable price. Even if you don't notice any red flags or get a gut instinct to back off, it’s a matter of respecting yourself and your safety. Your only red flag here will show up in black and white.

Mind you, that's after telling you this:

2) Never, ever give out personal information. This may be the most important thing for you to remember. Your personal information includes your real name, telephone number, personal email or home address. If they want to send something to you through the mail, get a post office box. They're not expensive! No matter how nice the other person may seem, you do not know them. While most people are decent, you can never be absolutely sure. Don't risk having this information fall into the wrong hands.

wildoats19622 56M
3530 posts
5/20/2006 4:18 am

Thanks for the info. Scamming is a serious problem.

I have this incredible urge to write something sarcastic. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm weak. I reply soonest possible.

Sorry, I wasn't gonna do that.


Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 7:09 am:
Heh. Help me soonest please. I am stuck in hotel, manager won't let me go home until I pay bill. I try to pay bill, my mother send me the money. But on way back from Western Union, I jumped by three thugs who take my money and break my legs. Now hospital need money or they say they cut off my arms. I needest your bank account, please.

EroticaXTC 51F

5/20/2006 4:26 am

The pic wasn't up yet but I applaud your efforts in getting all the info you can, and I loved the fact that you kept following the scammer through chat rooms, I would have loved to have witnessed that!!! It sounds exactly like something I'd do!!
This is one instance where I guess it's a blessing I don't have the kind of bank account these people want to find...
"Uhh, yeah, I'm an American with no life and no chance of finding another American herewho will take my money and profess their undying love for check's on the way,..what? it's not there?... Keep checking, it will be there soonest or latest..."

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 7:12 am:
Well, a lot of the time they'll start out small, asking for $100 to $500. Sometimes they'll start out asking for thousands. But when they're told their victim can't afford it, they will suddenly lower the amount they need, saying they can get the rest from people there. So they go after anyone. For some people, even $100 is a hell of a lot of money that they really can't afford to spare. These people, if not thinking properly, are the most vulnerable, as that check for $40,000 is going to be mailed to them soon and they get to keep $10,000. So they also appeal to that person's need.

8337 posts
5/20/2006 5:04 am

    Quoting rm_VoodooGuru1:
    Why are YOU telling us this?

    That is to say, I should think that the administrators of this site - if only to minimize their exposure - would warn its members of these scams if they're being perpetrated on their site.
^Ann is humanistic, that's why she's telling us this.

Waiting for a disclaimer from AdultFriendFinder would take forever.

Look how long it took them to update the blog options.

This ain't no Voodoo that you do, it's common sense.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 7:14 am:
But there is one. Just buried at the very bottom of the home page, in their online safety tips link. Most people don't know that link exists.

NickRules999 40M
9464 posts
5/20/2006 7:25 am

I wrote a similar piece on the Trump Towers website about scammers. (thetrumptowers with a dot and a calm at the end. I'm on there as Nick Raven.) A friend of mine directed me to a website that was about scammers, which I used for research. Crimes-of-persuasion. They talked all about the Nigerian scams. This friend got a huge sum of money, then she went to check the availabilty of the funds, the the bank told her it seemed suspicious. This thing where they use dating sites must be relatively new, as it was not mentioned on the Crimes site when I was doing my research.

The best piece I've ever written on Trump Towers was a revision of a post I wrote on my blog, Sympathy For The Devil Part I The First Blasphemy. This one's good. The one I wrote for Trump is better.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 8:29 am:
The site you mention won't let me see anything older than a February. Is there some trick to it?

It would seem the romance scam has been around for a while. The message board I found was founded almost a year ago. There were people telling their stories of being scammed through personals then. Then again, it's not an outright email scam. They get a person hooked and then when they know they're dealing with emotions, they go in for the sting.

I know when you sell things on Craig's List, they warn you to watch out for people who offer you much more than you're asking. I've also heard they do that on eBay, but I haven't seen any sort of warning on eBay about that, but I have heard the stories.

This is why most banks hold funds for seven business days if the check is out of state.

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
5/20/2006 8:04 am

Heh. OK, none of you are going to see the pic used by the scammers, as it would seem the site rejected the photo. So disregard that last line. Unless of course, you want to pump my ego and just assume I'm so wonderful that Russian scammers use my pic.

rm_teddybare426 60M
487 posts
5/20/2006 8:58 am

Following and harrassing scammers should be considered a public service.

It was attempted on me a couple of times from american singles dating site. Both were Russian women, younger then I, in 3 weeks was in love with me, wanted to move here and have my children. Both sent pic, not model qualty, just nice looking. I knew what it was, played along, and gotta admit it was tempting. And I KNEW what it was.

Then I was emailed buy a "police officer" detailling the scam, and linking to a real Russian marriage site.

I thought the last part was pretty inventive.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 9:59 am:
Yep. That site is one of the ones they seem to use commonly. A lot of the scammers in the message board database made first contact there. It's amazing. They've even scammed on eHarmony and True, which claims to do a criminal background check on all members.

The last part is pretty inventive. I hope you led him on.

You know, the FBI and the USPS have set up a site called Looks Too Good To Be True, that outlines scams and has links to report such scams to various agencies.

rm_teddybare426 60M
487 posts
5/20/2006 9:08 am

Should have read.........and linking to a "real Rusian marridge site"

I think it was called elana's models and may be connected.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 10:00 am:
Yeah. Connected to the Russian Mafia.

cuteNEway 42F

5/20/2006 12:36 pm

THIS is another good reason to add to my list of reasons I won't chat with foreigners. Hell to me Jersey is a foreign country...but those foreigners I'm OK with (tee hee)

And BTW I get those Nigerian emails on a daily in my email.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 3:00 pm:
*ahem* New Jersey is a foreign country? NYC is NOT a country unto itself.

I'm starting to feel deprived. I never get the Nigerian scammers. However, they love to go after single parents and BBWs. You fit both profiles, you lucky girl! Too bad you can't afford to bring them back home, eh? I mean, look at how hot and sexy they all are!

OK, I'll stop now. Well, for the moment.

NickRules999 40M
9464 posts
5/20/2006 1:08 pm

Crimes of Persuasion, I guess hasn't been updated. Trump Towers, I check all the time, yet my newest posts have yet to appear.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 3:00 pm:
hmmmmm... Someone is slacking off.

RevJoseyWales 70M/67F
14393 posts
5/20/2006 1:21 pm

Ann, you have to be REALLY dumb to fall for this type of stuff after all that's been written and aired on it. There are a buch of them here, I know. The ones I've seen have been Russian or Eastern European women, but I'm certain there are males as well. Haven't seen the Nigerian type personally, but then again, that isn't my thing. All we can do is report them to whatever powers are controlling the sites we catch them on. As long as there are sheep, wolves will prey on them. Catching and prosecuting them is virtually impossible, especially when they operate from countries that are so corrupt they don't care. Any wonder why I don't like humans?

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 3:07 pm:
You know, normally intelligent people fall for this. They work on their victims for months. They gain their trust, then they pull the scam. They prey on the emotionally vulnerable. That's a state that can turn a genius into an idiot.

While the Nigerians I've seen on this site tend to be men, I do see Filipina chicks especially looking for green cards and Indian men looking for the same. The ones I see in chat are rank amateurs in comparison to the pro scammers. The pros wait a few weeks before telling people they're in love with them. The ones looking for green cards start in the instant you're kind enough to say hi to the n00b.

OboesHonedIambs 63F

5/20/2006 1:48 pm

Isn't there a name like "yahoo-boys" for them? I've only gotten one email here from a Nigerian swearing instant devotion "upon redding yowr profil" and attached a picture of Spike Lee.

Into the circular file of data deletion he went. I seldom feel lonely and opportunities to be alone don't bother me - I have plenty to do or leave undone and can fill my hours quite satisfactorily. A lot of people have been taught to equate being alone with being lonely and that being alone is abnormal and undesirable.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 3:28 pm:
Yeah, we all know how much Spike Lee loves white women...

They might be called Yahoo Boys. Dunno. That is the email and IM of choice, as your IP address is masked. I know most of the Russian Scams are out of Mari El and that's what they call the scammers.

I do agree, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. It's also possible to feel alone in a crowd. You can also feel lonely being surrounded by people.

8337 posts
5/20/2006 4:36 pm

    Quoting rm_teddybare426:
    Following and harrassing scammers should be considered a public service.

    It was attempted on me a couple of times from american singles dating site. Both were Russian women, younger then I, in 3 weeks was in love with me, wanted to move here and have my children. Both sent pic, not model qualty, just nice looking. I knew what it was, played along, and gotta admit it was tempting. And I KNEW what it was.

    Then I was emailed buy a "police officer" detailling the scam, and linking to a real Russian marriage site.

    I thought the last part was pretty inventive.
Dearest Teddy,

I never imagined in my wildest dreams that you were the type to go for Russian Mailorder Brides...

It appears you dabble in a great many things.

You are fast approaching "gangsta" status.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 5:23 pm:
Heh. Nah, he has to start running drugs for the Russian Mafia to get his gansta status.

vengeur 42M  
837 posts
5/20/2006 4:48 pm

For about the last four years, a scam artist would come into the Philly/Tri-state chat room during the week just before Thanksgiving.

This scam artist would have a profile with a name like, "2girlz2cu2nite" or something to that effect. The profile's location was listed as Des Moines, Iowa. The profile was also listed as being a same-sex female couple comprised of two college coeds in their early twenties. After entering the chat room, the scam artist would quickly ask for men to chat privately with "us girls" on an instant messenger.

This is when the trap would be set. After sending the prospective mark photos of two beautiful blond young ladies, the scam artist would then claim that "we girls" just wanted to take a break from studying and fly out to Philadelphia to hang out with a hot guy like the mark. Being poor college students, these "girls" would of course need money sent to them via Western Union to pay their travel and hotel expenses. The implication of hot threesome sex with the "girls" would be made after the money was requested.

How do I know all this? It's because I was once a prospective mark of this scam myself. I never sent the scam artist any money however. I just told him/her that I was not available during Thanksgiving weekend due to my work schedule. (This is a concept that is likely not relevant to the scam artist - going somewhere regularly and doing something to actually earn an honest living, that is.)

On a subsequent pre-Thanksgiving week about two years later, I saw the scam artist in the chat room again. I could tell this from the seemingly familiar profile name to the effect of "2girlz2cu2nite". The scam artist was openly announcing his/her instant messenger screen name. So I sent an instant message to this screen name which said, "Hello, scam artist...having any luck so far with your tired old scam this year?"

After a few minutes, the scam artist replied back. Our chat then consisted of the scam artist lambasting me for making wild accusations against somebody whom I don't know, that he/she works hard for a living, and denials of ever perpetrating their scam in previous years.

This is when I offered to send the scam artist his/her own photos of the same two beautiful blond young ladies back to him/her, which I still had saved to my computer from two years previously. The scam artist consented to the photo transfer, but then canceled it, accusing me to trying to infect his/her computer with a virus. (This wouldn't have been possible even if it were my true intention.)

My computer then began to seize up then by this point. So I then had to reboot it, thus ending my instant messenger chat with the scam artist. It did not matter to me though, since I felt that my mission had already been accomplished. I was aglow with the feeling of vindication from having confronted a slimy scam artist who preys upon us lonely souls here on AdultFriendFinder. For me, this was reward enough.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/20/2006 5:22 pm:
OMG, I remember "them"! They spent a lot of time in the NYC room too. They'd announce right in the room they wanted to visit NYC and were willing to trade sex for plane fare and lodgings. So of course, I would start on them in the room. Only to have about 20 guys start hauling into me and defending them. The usual bullshit. I'm old, fat and ugly, they're young, thin and hot. So according to all these guys, I was jealous and trying to prevent them from getting hot women. A few apologised to me after IMing with "them" but of course, the damage had already been done and they were labeled stupid fucktards, looking for the porn queen fantasy. I can't tell you how many men were complete idiots when it came to this scammer.

rm_teddybare426 60M
487 posts
5/20/2006 9:21 pm


You don't know the half of it.


Good post, good points, the more people know about these scams the better. It's easy to dismiss the victims as being stupid, that's not always the case. Some of them are damn good at it[they learn what works] and are not so easy to spot.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/21/2006 10:10 am:
Not to mention, there have also been cases where the victim will visit Nigeria and end up being beaten or worse when they won't come up with more money.

rm_pleasuresex3 53M
520 posts
5/25/2006 12:35 am

Thank you Missann for these "public service announcements". It's generous of you to devote so much time to this and enlighten the rest of us.

I suppose it's easy to laugh at or shake our heads at the people who fall for these scams, but I tend to have sympathy for them.

As you've indicated above, when we are emotionally vulnerable or lonely or horny, or all three put together, we run the risk of making very stupid mistakes.


"Not to mention, there have also been cases where the victim will visit Nigeria and end up being beaten or worse when they won't come up with more money."

A little anecdote,

A few years back there was a Norwegian who got tangled up in a "Nigerian e-mail scam". He took the bait hook, line and sinker, and ended up paying them a considerable amount of money.

When he realised he'd been conned, he decided to go to Nigeria to find the scammers and demand his money back.

He found them.

They killed him.

It appears these people are serious criminals.

So, if you're ever unfortunate enough to be caught up in a situation like this, take your losses, count your blessings and move on.

It's preferable to lose your shirt than lose your life.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/25/2006 6:06 am:
They really are serious criminals and they work in packs at Internet cafes. People who play with them online, baiting them do things like set up IP masks, so they can't be traced once the scammer realizes he's being scammed. They are never happy when they find out someone has been leading them on and they've been wasting their time on someone who isn't going to pay off.

There have been a number of cases where someone who goes to Nigeria either to hunt down the scammer or to become rich are murdered when they either demand their money back or announce they're not paying another cent.

24 posts
6/12/2006 2:40 am

My friend sent me here. You are funny and smart.

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