House of the Dead: misunderstood masterpiece?  

1980mcz 37M  
15 posts
2/18/2005 12:36 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

House of the Dead: misunderstood masterpiece?


After all the negative flack I had heard about Uwe Boll and his video game opus House of the Dead, I figured it was about time I watched it. Here is my reactions as they came to me during the film:
11:00:43 : time for uwe boll
11:04:17 : sigh
11:04:26 : 4 minutes in and counting
11:04:34 : not a good sign
11:05:57 : big tittied asian shows her tits...good
11:10:58 : more titties!
11:12:49 : Jaws rip off scene
11:14:52 : even more titties
11:15:54 : dont go in there!
11:16:46 : random video game screen
11:29:25 : woohoo, sexy asian
11:32:32 : these video game shots are gonna make me kill someone
11:35:37 : zombies are also skilled swimmers..interesting
11:40:08 : thought she was out of bullets
11:44:18 : ooooh, flashback to the olden days
11:48:35 : haha! a game over screen!
11:52:44 : well its a good thing he just happens to be an arms smuggler
11:52:51 : let the matrix wannabe begin
11:53:50 : she just went from pistols to a shotgun
11:54:50 : woulda bee a cool shot in a better movie
11:58:28 : aww, hottie asian dies
11:58:34 : nice of them to try and help her...not
11:59:12: the fuck was the point of that montage??

11:35 | zombies are also skilled swimmers..interesting

11:40 | thought she was out of bullets

11:40 | i do hope you enjoy my commentary

11:44 | ooooh, flashback to the olden days

11:48 | haha! a game over screen!
11:52 | well its a good thing he just happens to be an arms smuggler

11:52 | let the matrix wannabe begin

11:53 | she just went from pistols to a shotgun

11:54 | woulda bee a cool shot in a better movie

11:58 | aww, hottie asian dies

11:58 | nice of them to try and help her...not

11:59 | the fuck was the point of that montage??
Friday, February 18, 2005 12:00
12:00 | if the bullet opens a hole to splatter blood out of, then the bullet went through it...she should have a bullet in the eye

12:00 | haha, oh well, they tore her in half anyway

12:04 | its quiet..lets make out

12:04 | haha! its TOO quiet!

12:05 | "it was my fault!!" cue sad music....and they kiss

12:07 | handy they found that book

12:09 | they arent zombies if they arent undead...they are corpses

12:11 | open the door..good idea

12:12 | a clint howard zombie! eeeek!

12:13 | good, waste a bullet on a zombie fish

12:14 | super slow mo explosion run!

12:14 | aaaaaaand jump

12:15 | another damn video game shot

12:15 | many

12:15 | argh

12:17 | what was the point of her sacrificing herself like that?

12:19 | "you created it all so you could be immortal! why?"

12:19 | didnt he just answer his own question

12:20 | slow motion explosion run..again

12:21 | more matrix crap

12:21 | good thing she knows how to fence

12:22 | not in her breasts!!!!!!

12:23 | she's alive!

12:23 | no wait, she's dead again

12:25 | haha, and he brought her back

12:26 | oooh, sequel!

12:26 | the end

12:28 | somewhat disappointing, i thought itd be worse

Well I do hope you enjoyed my commentary as much as I enjoyed laughing at this comic masterpiece. Its a good thing video game companies keep seelling Uwe Boll the rights to their games so he can go on making films like this one.

LVsinner04 32F

2/22/2005 5:02 am

that was the best way to describe house of the dead. one of the stupidest movies i have ever seen. i think your version was much better.


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