What makes a good lover???  

Mackey05 40F
508 posts
3/22/2005 9:18 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

What makes a good lover???

I've had convos with many people about what signals a person gives off to clue you in as to whether or not they will be fun and great in bed. One guy I chatted with a few weeks ago was very disappointed on his search for a FWB. He had met 7 AdultFriendFinder women over a two week peroid and slept with every single one and was angry they were all terrible. I feel bad for the poor man and asked why he initially felt they would be great fucks... His answer, "Well, they all were good dancers." What?! I asked if there was chemistry and he said, "Kinda, I mean they were hot." Interesting. I told him I felt bad that he had so many test drives and couldn't find the right ride..... For some reason that convo popped into my head and I started making a list of what I've found so far... Feel free to shed some more light on this subject I'm always willing to learn more

1. There is chemistry... No, this doesn't mean you think that person is hot and vice versa.. It's that connection you can't describe that turns both of you on.

2. The other person is confident. If a person is overly shy when you are out in public and when you are alone keep walking. Personally I view this as a lack of experience and social skills that are important in this lifestyle.. You need someone who is confortable with who they are and their surroundings because if they aren't chances are great their inhibitions will follow into the bedroom... One friend hooked up with a guy who was really shy on their date. When they were in bed he refused to take off his shirt and boxers and sex had to be under a blanket... Creepy!

3. They are a good kisser.. Kissing takes some talent and a good kiss requires being able to read the person you are kissing. Being in sync with pressure, passion level, and tongue use is a clue into other things Never indulge in oral with someone who accidentally bites your tongue while kissing... I learned this the hard way!! I made this mistake and the idiot actually bit my clit so hard he drew blood!!!! OUCH!!!

4. Communication... This ties in with confidence and their ability to feel comfortable enough with themselves to communicate what they want and be receptive to you and your wants and needs.

5. Respect. Nothing is worse than a person who treats you like a blow-up doll or a $5 street whore. If they use derogatory terms when talking about your gender, race, or anything relating to other human beings get up and walk out. Sleeping with them will be all about them getting pleasure.. Remember, you are the "wh*re, slut, bastard,b*tch" and they are above you... Yeah right! LOL!

6. Grooming... If a person has a bad funk, has way too much cologne or perfume on ( someone didn't shower and is covering something henus up! ), their clothing is dirty, their teeth and hair are not clean this should be a clue about what is going on below... You don't want to tap that and end up with multi-legged little fellows crawling in your favorite parts or short hairs do you? LOL!

7. Attitude / ego... Confidence is good and cockiness is bad! If convos are all about them and how great they are in bed and every area of their life then you should smile, nod, then laugh and walk away. No matter what they do in their eyes it is great and chances are they will want sex to be their way and it'll be all about them getting off.


3/22/2005 10:56 pm


Don`t forget about the macho guy that just has to tell you (brag)about all his past sexcapes.


3/25/2005 12:04 am

Hey, I'm Joe. Just wanted to give you props on your blog. Haven't made one of my own for AdultFriendFinder yet, but if you want to check me out you can go to my xanga at http://AdultFriendFinder.com=niceguyjoe24 . I'm a college guy from Grayslake, IL (Northern suburbs of Chicago)

IPman 62M
313 posts
3/25/2005 5:50 am

Dear Mackey,
I liked your comments about the guy who needs to dance with a women first, funny how we are all wired so differently.

Two things get me going: does the woman have my favorite body type? I love women who look a certain height, hair color, weight. If a woman with those qualities walks by me, I am like a hunting dog that would sit up and take note (although hopefully in a more subtle way)

Once we have the physical stuff going on, then its what’s going on upstairs, is she smart, funny, clever, and have just a touch of evil in her?

Oh what a combo; looks, brains, and a devious sense of humor, I find for me those are the women I can have the most fun with.

Mackey what is really weird is at 50 I did not figure this all out until I was 45 or so. I would just flip from woman to woman with no internal knowledge of what really made me go. It took me a little while to acquire that self knowledge.

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