Torn up  

Mackey05 40F
508 posts
2/15/2005 2:09 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Torn up

For a few weeks now at least once a week I have gotten phone calls on my cell from somone who is blocking their number. I was in bed most of the day sick and my cell rang. I looked at it and left it alone. Whoever it was called again. I answered. A woman asked me how I knew a certain man and I told her that him and I had met on the internet, went on a few dates, and then I ended things. I thought it was one of his friends calling to organize a birthday party because it was coming up next week. I asked who she is and she told me, "I am his wife. He left for Iraq yesterday and I was going through his e-mail and messenger and found your number on a e-mail and wanted to know what was going on. Him and I have been married for 9 years and we have 3 kids together. What did he tell you about us?" I think my heart stopped... In an instance I felt like one of the worst people in the world. Tears welled up in my eyes, "He told me you were divorced and never said anything about kids. I am so sorry! I never knew.. I am so sorry." She went on to tell me I wasn't the only woman and that there were at least 9 others that he hadn't deleted. I could tell this woman was crushed and was struggling to be strong. In the background I could hear the kids watching t.v and laughing and with each passing second I wanted to die... She asked if I slept with him and I admitted, "I didn't. Something wasn't right and I could sense it but never put a finger on it. Some stories didn't match up and I didn't trust him. He was really persistant about sex but I wouldn't cave in." "Yes, he is like that." I told her I did make a mistake with a married man and it made me miserable and swore I would never do that again.I don't want to hurt anyone. If I had known right off the bat I would have never talked to him and never would have gone out. She told me how hard it was being a military wife and I explained that I volunteered to go to Iraq and was willing to give up everything I had and the possibility of getting married and having a family, a normal life, but was medically discharged a week before I was scheduled to go to OCS. She said that leaving is hard and she told him she would be there for him while he was overseas and now she was going to file for divorce. She thanked me for my honesty and that was the end of the conversation.

Right now I feel terrible!!!!!! Not only am I sick with a head cold and a fever, but I was part of hurting an innocent person. I didn't mean to do it but I did. As I type this I am trying not to cry.


2/16/2005 8:11 am

Nope. Stop right there. You did nothing wrong. You didn't make a mistake or do anything you should feel bad about. If a person tells you something, are you supposed to give them a polygraph on the spot? The guy cheated on his wife and was dishonest with you. AND, he was stupid about the whole thing.

I am sorry that you don't feel well, but I would have to say you are not guilty of cheating, or fooling around with a married man. HE is guilty of adultery, stupidity, and putting YOU in a terrible position. Unfortunatly there is no penalty in this world for lying about being married, or not.

Fell better soon.
Your (married) friend,


2/16/2005 8:12 am

Sorry, feel better soon.

vengeur 42M  
837 posts
2/16/2005 8:34 pm

You did nothing wrong. This is just one reason why I won't get married until I find another swinger woman like myself, so that we can be honest with each other and play together too.

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