20 minute date:P LOL!!!  

Mackey05 40F
508 posts
4/9/2005 10:38 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

20 minute date:P LOL!!!

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! I just got back from meeting an AdultFriendFinder guy for drinks. I absolutely love Guinness... Well except for when it comes out of my nose from laughing too hard! LOL! I decided to go completely against my tastes in men and met up with an Indian man who is half my size, scrawny and is uncircumcised. ( I am into meaty athletic Caucasian men who lack the extra skin ) As we were sitting down he ordered drinks for us and had known what I like because he had asked me during one of our chats.

He was sweet and told me I looked better than my pictures and I struggled to find something to compliment him on... He looked like he had escaped from a concentration camp, had a strange odor emanating from him, his eyes were sunken into his skull, and the skin on his hands and face was so dry that it was flaking off.. GROSS!!! I was totally at a loss of what to say to him because he didn't look anything like his pictures. I wondered what else he had been dishonest about. Our drinks came and I gulped down a large portion of my beer because I wanted to at least get a drink before I fled.. The last time I met a guy I paid for the drinks and left before even touching mine.

He got a creepy smile and said, "I have something for you." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a stack of Polaroid pictures thicker than a DVD case. "Here is proof that I am good at pleasing women. I have made many women cum again and again and you will not regret meeting me even though I am not what you want in a man." I decided to humor him and look at his pics and his flaky paw pushed the pics across the table to me.

The first picture was of him kissing a white woman while standing behind her. Both of her large breasts were hanging out of her dress and he was tweaking her nipples. The second was a typical shot... The self taken masturbation photo of his cock. I took a sip of my beer and he said, "It is beautiful! You like don't you?" I forced a smile and looked and the third photo of him fucking a woman on the edge of a bed. Her long pasty legs were capped with a pair of red stiletto heels and he was turning back smiling for the camera. The next pic was of him doing a black woman doggy style, then him enjoying a Latino woman doing the reverse cowgirl,and a birds-eye view of a skinny blond woman sucking his cock.

"This one is beautiful. You will definitely like!" I laughed so hard as I looked at a pic of him with cum bubbles on his lips. He excitedly blurted out, "I like snowball and can blow bubbles we try later okay? I taste good and like me. YUM!" That comment killed me... Guinness spurted out of my nose spraying all over the table and my blouse. I lost it and couldn't stop laughing! I started crying and was running out of air as I pushed the photos across the table back to my date.

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY!!??" He asked in an angry and demanding tone. I composed myself and said, "I am so sorry... I just can't do this, it's just too weird for me. I'm sorry."

He looked pissed off and confused as I stood up while wiping my face and nose with a napkin. "Thanks for the drink. Good luck man."

I made it about 3 tables away and half way to the door before he called out, "BITCH! I bought you a drink!" I spun around smiling because this whole experience was hilarious to me. I yelled back, "And I said 'thank you'! THANK YOU!"

I got a few more steps in and was at the door as the bouncer opened it to let me out.He smiled and asked if everything was okay as I felt a cold clammy hand grab my wrist. I spun around quickly which seemed to catch him off guard as I twisted my wrist out of his grasping hand. My good mood turned to anger as I got inches from his face and angrily uttered,"Are you that stupid that you wanna start shit with me little man?! You are half my size and I'll kick your ass if you don't stand down son." His brown eyes hardened and he didn't flinch as he said, "You owe me bitch. I bought a drink for you."

I felt the bouncers hand on my shoulder and before he could say anything I grabbed the little man by the front of his golf shirt and lifted him up two feet in the air before planting him on the wall next to the door. I didn't say a word as I stared into his eyes. All of the hardness he had must have evaporated into fear on his way to the wall.

The bouncer, struggling to comprehend what was going on as he patted my shoulder and said,"Hey? Ummmm.. What? Put him down okay.. Chill ma'am.. Uhhh.." I let go of his shirt and he hit the floor running past me and out the door. I smiled at the bouncer and said, "Sorry about the commotion. Some men don't know that 'no' means NO." "Oh, okay. I am sorry about that and everything. Do you want me to walk you back to your car miss?"

I looked back at the table where my date and I had been sitting to see that he had left his stack of pictures. A group of 3 guys had taken over our table and were looking through the pics laughing their asses off.

"Sure, I'd like that. You may want to go check out those pictures. It'll show you what kind of guy he was." I pointed at the table of guys who were in hysterics and were now showing them off to people at neighboring tables.The bouncer laughed,"You're kidding right? What kind of pictures?" I winked and said,"The kind you don't take to be developed and don't want your mom to see."

The bouncer walked me back to my car and wished me a safe night. I only agreed to meeting up with this gem of an AdultFriendFinder guy even though he is not what I am looking for because I figured that jumping out of my norm with a descent and nice seeming guy would change my streak of bad luck.... Boy was I wrong!!! I'm going to stick to my tastes and not sell myself short Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

nightstogether 58M

4/10/2005 6:33 am

Well, it wasn't Guiness, but my coffee cup suffered through this. At least it missed the keyboard this time!

private-intellectual (.de)

Apolybear 55M

4/10/2005 10:56 am

You sure haven't had much luck with men lately have you? I think you stick it out with these guys just to keep us entertained...lol

Hang in there...

rm_NappingWench 42F
644 posts
4/10/2005 12:41 pm

man, you need a disclaimer about loosing ones drinks....nearly killed my keyboard with my soda....

any guy that has to carry around a CD case with photos of him with other women, needs serious help. but I give you props for not completely kicking this guys ass! LOL - he certainly would have deserved it....BIG TIME.... (I have to wonder if he paid those women, and then paid extra to take the photos....??? hmmmm....) I can't imagine how he got those other women then... if he looks even half as gross as you described...


4/11/2005 10:10 am

Of course I'm not one, but there are a lot of freaks around here! I feel good to be a normal f'd up 36yr old male that made some mistakes in life! Good thing you were in a public place. BTW: It may be more effective if you pick him up by his neck! lmao


4/11/2005 11:46 am

Oh Mackey you just brightened my day lolololol. Glad you were able to have a laugh,

ccninja 43M

4/11/2005 3:22 pm

This story would be more funny if it weren't so disturbing. What a creep that guy was. I'm glad you came out of it OK and were able to at least find some humor in it.

bloozefan49 67M

4/11/2005 9:15 pm

That was too funny, sorry it was at your expense.It also makes me wonder if he used the same tactics to lure the other 3 into bed, it's hard to imagine that approach actually working!!!

rm_ltsgetnwty 48M/45F
17 posts
4/12/2005 9:35 pm

Now that was a funny damn story. Sorry it had to happen to you.

2 posts
4/14/2005 3:04 pm

I just stumbled onto this story and i must say it was quite funny. I'll shut up now lol.

silkdawgg 39M  
43 posts
5/10/2005 3:38 am

holy fuck....i didnt know that i should be toting pictures around with me to impress chicks....no wonder my sex life has struggled lately.....lol this was a great story

lvthepuzzy 47M

5/28/2005 9:39 pm


1 post
6/2/2005 1:59 pm

Hate to say it, but I'm glad that happened to you b/c you/ve got a great story to tell. I haven't laughed that hard in a week. Thanks

Mstng429 32M
9 posts
8/13/2005 7:14 am

Wow amazingly funny story, sorry that happened to you, you should have kicked his ass, what a jerk.

Hope you have better luck

1 post
8/18/2005 11:35 am

HOLA quieres ablar conmigo???????

2 posts
8/23/2005 1:48 am

any one girl

2 posts
8/23/2005 1:49 am

i am looking smart

4 posts
12/4/2005 11:06 pm

Little Indian guy is fantastic! The bouncer should have beat his little stinky ass.

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