Being a mom  

MWWwantsmore 52F
1594 posts
4/2/2006 1:50 pm

Last Read:
4/4/2006 4:26 am

Being a mom

This is so true and moving, I dont know who wrote it but I received it in a email from my cousin who just had a baby 6 weeks ago.

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking.

"Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all.
I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"

That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.

That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.

That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.
She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine.

That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma.
That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.

That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, and not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.

I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.

I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.

You'll never regret it," I finally say.

Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

rm_guyinokemos 69M
103 posts
4/2/2006 2:55 pm

Beautiful blog.
There was a time many years ago before I became a father that I could look at a newspapers death notices and read about the death of a little person and not be moved almost to tears. That has not been the case since I became a father.
What an experience parenthood is. For all it's joys and occasional sorrows, it has been an experience that is still rich and amazing.

Thanks for sharing.


MaggiesWishes 61F

4/2/2006 3:27 pm

Isn't love a undefined emotion that it serves so well, on many levels and all we have to do, is learn them, one by one ... open up and let all the good vibes wash over us. AS women, we learn to love on many levels and with just as much energy.

very sweet post

jadedbabe78 107F

4/2/2006 3:32 pm

I remember receiving this through an email once. It is so true.

southrnpeach333 51F

4/2/2006 3:58 pm

now I am in tears...and makes me want another one.

timeforfun219 43M/43F  
2155 posts
4/2/2006 4:25 pm

As a dad to my own son and eventually a step dad to my girlfriends children, that is all so very true. Being a parent is something that I would not ever give up. It makes life so much better knowing that you are resposible for another life as long as you should live.

If my boobs were bigger I'd be a BBW!

MWWwantsmore 52F

4/2/2006 5:36 pm

Thanks all for your comments. I never realized how having kids changes your life in so many ways. Even though my kids are both teenagers now, they still amaze me at times. I still constantly worry about them, sometimes I am ready to strangle them but I will ALWAYS love them no matter where life takes them.

It is a very special miracle to conceive, carry and give birth to a child. That whole process still amazes me!

There are many things in my past that I would change but having my kids is not one of them!

rm_nastyboyct 48M

4/3/2006 7:10 am

At work I see so many kids with no future at all becuase their parents are druggies, prostitutes or just idiots and after becoming a father, I constantly think about them on my way home, the next day and everyday..Its true, children change evrything

thefixedone 46M
2 posts
4/3/2006 7:25 am

That is very true.alot of the things in that you never really think of.Thank-you

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