Safe Sex in Texas  

LustyTaurus 50M
12038 posts
1/31/2006 9:10 pm

Last Read:
2/23/2012 8:56 pm

Safe Sex in Texas

....and Michigan and Nunavit and Greenland, most of Eastern Europe, everywhere really(Except Germany, there's a bunch of issues there for another post)

I hope a bazillion people read this post, because it could save your life or your coffee table or some really expensive clothes.

Everybody knows you are not supposed to put your dick in the pickle slicer(unless she's really hot) but how many people know that rug burn can kill!! That's right. If a scab forms it means you broke the skin, and if you swim in any one of the 1000's of polluted lakes in the world you could get infected and die.

How many times have I, dare I say you, taken a knee to the head when trying to change positions in the heat of the moment? I hope I don't have to remind you of the people suffering at this very moment because of an unnecessary head injury.

How many of you have had sex in the bathroom? The shower is responsible for 1 in 14 sex related injuries. The slipping, the sliding, the lack of space, shampoo flying everywhere....I shudder thinking about it.

The sink. The last time I propped my girl up on the sink, I miscalculated. After a few minutes I could barely stand as this pain began to radiate. I then realized I had slapped by balls probably( assuming a stroke rate of 35-45/minute) 100 times against the sharp edge of the counter. Don't get me wrong, I was still able to finish, sort of like the last mile in the Marathon, but it could have been avoided.

I love to pin my girl up against the wall, you know pick her right up, legs draped over my arms at just the right height so I can ease my manhood inside her.

That's when I discovered the hidden dangers of socks and laminate floors. I'm telling you, it was like standing on marbles during an earthquake. I escaped that one, by the grace of God, with only minor bruising to my knees. My girl was lucky too as her hot sweaty skin sort of gripped the wall on the way down.

I love taking my girl from behind, there is something about having her on her hands and knees, propped, ready, waiting, sometimes begging me to enter. Then, slowly, as I clasp her hips and touch the head of my rock hard shaft to her witing wetness and pushing, pressing, easing my way in, one, two, three, three and a half, four, 5,6,7,8 all the way in, And then out and in and out and in, n out, n in faster and faster and faster, her back is arching, pushing back and now she's grinding and I'm going faster and harder and she's pushing and grinding, grinding, grinding,!!!! Traction. That's right, another back injury. Can't get compensation for that. Why did it happen? I blame it on the waterbed. I can't really tell you how it happened exactly, only that it did. So please be careful out there. I think I've made my point.

Lastly, don't forget about freezing, sunstoke, snakebite, unexpected company, pets...all are hazards that must be planned for and avoided if we are going to play safe.

Please share any and all safety tips, so we may all have an injury free sex place.


scumbagalert101 50M
12 posts
2/1/2006 3:32 pm

This gets my vote for the most useful blog posting in the history of

expatbrit49 64M

2/1/2006 3:56 pm

Allways stay in the center of the bed, especialy if the room has a tiled floor

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

saddletrampsk 55F

2/2/2006 9:16 am

Just lie back and let me ride you..oh..but watch out for bouncing boobies..could cause a lil black eye..

LustyTaurus 50M
21253 posts
2/2/2006 4:23 pm

OK...mental note to self....bring camera as mentioned by
sweetneeds2, stay in the center of the bed, thanks to
expatbrit49 when saddletrampsk climbs on, wear safety glasses and send scumbagalert101 a thankyou card!

Did I miss anything?

xxxhandyman4u2 56M

2/13/2006 11:29 am

sorta reminds me of a romp in the woods with a married lady.....i ended
up with thorns sticking in the back of my neck....crab apple if i remember right the "heat of the moment"I didnt feel them at all...
Proper motivation came overcome alot of pain....Damn I miss her...

LustyTaurus 50M
21253 posts
2/13/2006 5:47 pm

Handyman...thanks for stopping by...hope you enjoyed it! I'll remember that next time I'm fuckin a married chick in the woods...LMAO.

rm_cru1972 46M
4407 posts
3/27/2006 8:04 pm

Don't forget about the broken noses, if you get a little to into the eatin at the Y thingie. Damn that hurts!

LustyTaurus replies on 4/29/2006 6:33 pm:'d you sneak way to the bottom of my blog without me catching you...LOL. Good safety tip cru!

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