I'M GOING TO HELL FOR SURE!!!  

LustyTaurus 50M
12038 posts
8/2/2006 12:46 am

Last Read:
7/4/2007 6:21 pm

I'M GOING TO HELL FOR SURE!!!

More often than not lately I've found myself thinking about the past for some reason and the things I've done...even more so than thinking about the future, and what I want to do. I don't live in the past, but I have a need to remember and understand it.

Many of you know I've had a less than pleasant history, and during the darkest times before the light came to me, I did some shameful and really DUMBASS things.

There was a period about 14 years ago now that lasted for about 3 yrs where I was struggling the most with my demons. I couldn't hold down a job, I was self-medicating with alchohol and having affair after affair.

The irony is that I was able to keep the illusion of success and happiness alive for most of this time until I crashed.

I found a regular job far too restricting as it severely interferred with my drinking and fucking time, and therefor my emotional well-being at the time, so I started a cleaning business.

This allowed me to make my own schedule and be out of the house at all hours, but since I had no intention of cleaning anything, I still had the little problem of negative cash flow!!!

This is where the subject of me going to hell for sure comes in...

I was heavily involved in a rather large church with my wife at the time, and helped out as an usher or a greeter as well as taking collection.

This church had a weekly collection of between $35,000.00 and $50,000.00 every Sunday, much of it cash...and I only needed a small percentage of that...so I started skimming anywhere between $800 and $1,500 a week from the collection plate to survive and keep up the lie I'd been perpetuating.

The motivation for this post came from replying to floralleiflorallei about my general disdain of church people...but it probably isn't fair. When I finally did crash three years later, and all of the crap came out, there were no charges laid and a couple of the church people were instrumental in getting me the help I needed.

The majority were very cold and judgemental but I would lay down my life for the 2 or 3 that stepped up to help.

So I know I'm going to hell for stealing from the church or cheating on my wife or fucking my cousin or any number of other things I've yet to blog about...but I'm real curious...

What have you done that you're not eactly proud of??

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could??

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still??


.LUSTYTAURUS

FYI...I have no problem keeping secrets, its the people I tell.


warmandsexy52 66M
13164 posts
8/2/2006 1:13 am

I once went to an American evangelical church with a fellow Brit, simply for the experience (anyone who's seen the Blues Brothers would want to!). I am not a christian and the other two people I was with were jewish. We were welcomed at first, but after about an hour or so we'd seen enough of the gospel show and the hellfire preaching and discreetly decided to leave. Well after the warm welcome at the start this minister hollered after us that we couldn't leave, which we ignored, so he then called out that we had devils riding our backs.

Get fucking real! These guys are creating bizarre mythologies that mess with people's heads, take their money and control their lives, in order to sustain a lifestyle of three Mercedes and a BMW in the drive and wealth beyond this poor Brit's imaginings.

So hell, no, my friend. I simply don't believe in heaven and hell as defined places. But I do believe in how you are and the being you become determines what the world reflects back at you. There's a psychology to that as well as a spirituality, and my prime drive in life is to remain balanced and healthy on all fronts. If I carry that into a hypothetical afterlife then I'm going to be okay.

Now is what matters, and where you've been and what leads up to now matters, but beyond that guilt gets you nowhere. Today's a new day. Start it fresh as who you are and make the most of it.

And in that spirit I won't dwell on my past, any more than the next time I go free flying will I dwell on the scares and accidents I have had. I will simply make the most of the sky I have and enjoy.

warm


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:14 pm:
That's insane what that preacher did.....and i agree with your view warm...I just get reflective sometimes...and more so lately for some reason

timberwolf6972 45M

8/2/2006 1:16 am

What have you done that you're not eactly proud of??

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could??

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still??

I plead the 5th ammendment on all the above and alot of other shit too! Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies!


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:15 pm:
HA!!...the fifth don't apply on the Canadian blogs...fess up!!...

waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

8/2/2006 1:48 am

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, hun you're not going to hell for that shit. You admitted it, so no worries.........but if you are I'll join you for sure let's see......I stole a pack of life savers when I was seven, some panties when I was ten, a shirt when I was 17. The one thing I'd go back and undo is the revenge fuck I did against my ex....it was immature and totally wrong. I should've just packed my shit and left.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:15 pm:
do you still have those panties.....you're all grown up now so it's OK...

Gossip_Anyone 42F

8/2/2006 2:03 am

join the club! we have jackets!


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:16 pm:
they aren't "Hell's Angels" are they??...

sassy1296 52F

8/2/2006 3:13 am

My past is my past. My past made who I am today. Hell yeah I did things I am not proud of. Hasn't everyone.

Would I change it. No, cause from everythign that happened I learned.

Am I keepings secrets now.... again Lusty come here and I will whisper them to you.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:17 pm:
I likes secrets...

TXBITCH2006 51F

8/2/2006 4:03 am

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could?? No, because I wouldn't be the person I am today if I did.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:17 pm:
soem parts of me I'm not sure I like Bi...

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
8/2/2006 4:08 am

IF you are going to hell, you will have some great company!

The worst thing I ever did was take $ out of a wallet that was left in a phone booth when I was 16. I still get sick to the stomach thinking about it

Purry {=}

Purry


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:19 pm:
You're SOOO evil...

moonfire2u 71F
2602 posts
8/2/2006 4:38 am

of course, I have some dirty little secrets...but if I tell you...they will no longer be secrets...

kind thoughts,
Moonfire


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:34 pm:
awww...I won't tell..

FrankPicasso 53M

8/2/2006 5:08 am

I believe that it's simple human nature to make mistakes, and some of them are real beauts. Maybe the true measure of a person lies in the desire to make good on them. Perhaps that's what the cleaning business is all about. Sounds like you're doing a better job of cleaning these days.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:34 pm:
lets hope so!!

sexyariesgirl 59F

8/2/2006 5:17 am

LT....none of those things are gonna send you to hell sweetie. Do I have regrets? Maybe a few but like others have stated here...I've learned from almost every mistake I've ever made...so no I probably wouldn't change a thing. I would like to undo any hurt I've caused others, but aside from that....there isn't anything I would want to change.

Power To FOK


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:35 pm:
I think I ahve my PhD in what not to do!

MoutnainGirl 39F

8/2/2006 5:56 am

I'm with Timber on this.. I plead the 5th. I haven't reached that part of bloggers anonymous where I bear all to the world yet..

Moutnain Girl

Visit my blog: MoutnainGirl


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:35 pm:
I may live to regret what I've posted..but WTF, what can they do to me!!

fortunaswm 63M/53F

8/2/2006 5:59 am

Lusty - I too struggle with my demons - my guilt - my past mistakes. I have a story to tell one of these days that in many ways parallels yours - not physical abuse - but a mental abuse that left deep scars.
And I used alcohol and drugs to live in my fantasy land for years - I wish it had only been 3.
But, as you know, through grace we do not have to be condemned to hell. Humble can be a good thing.
I think you're on the right track - you'll find your way.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:36 pm:
Thanks for sharing and for the encouragement Fortun...I think we'll be ok...

canyaz 50F
17104 posts
8/2/2006 6:06 am

Lusty, First let me say, according to the Church you attended, you are forgiven. Therefore you avoid Hell on that count. Second, I have a whole cemetery full in my closet. That is where they are staying and that is why I am not running for office in my little Hamlet!

There is a difference between a good BJ and a bad BJ.
canyaz


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:37 pm:
Politics would probably not be my best carreer choice either canyaz!!

rm_FreeLove999 48F
16127 posts
8/2/2006 6:29 am

i shoplifted with a bunch of friends under peer pressure when i was 18, until the bad taste in my mouth got too much to deal with ... i didn't even care much for the crap we were nicking anyway... but anyway, i know i'm not going to hell, cos a few years ago a goddess came and showed me where i'm going when i die and it looked like a lot of fun ...



[blog freelove999]


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:42 pm:
that's too cool...I need that done...or maybe I don't wanna know...

mycin62 56F

8/2/2006 6:40 am

Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you any of my dirty little secrets!!

I will say this, I'll see ya in Hell


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:52 pm:
now who would I possibly have to tell...

curiousinlorain7 60F

8/2/2006 6:47 am

What have you done that you're not exactly proud of?? Well I don't tell many people I belong to this site, yet i'm proud to call many of you friends... that's got to be bad

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could?? I'd never go back... don't believe in it. I am what I am, take me or leave me, because of what I've done. My compassion stems from my mistakes

What's the worst thing you've ever done? I'd tell you, but it's clearly been established I'm a good girl... and my "worse" would get me laughed right off of this site

Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still?? Yes

You know Lusty I've been in churches all my life... some really good ones, and some really bad ones. I've met Christians that I was proud to be included with... and I've met some that I've actually asked them to never tell anyone that they were a Christian because it made Christ and me look bad. You are going to find good and evil in every walk of life... here is a perfect example. On this site I've found the best of the best... and I'm happy that I have. You know about those people that judged you? one day they'll have to stand before God and try to explain that.. they are going to be surprised when they find out that our whole deal here as Christians is NOT to judge... but to heal and help. Jesus spent way more time with the 'sinners' than he did with the 'saints' just remember that... and one thing my mom always says about churches and church goers.... Just because a mouse is in a cookie jar, does not make him a cookie. hugs to you brother...


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:53 pm:
I've since learned that too..church people are just like me, imperfect and human.

Now, about the mouse in the cookie jar...

catkit13 68F

8/2/2006 7:07 am

as my late mentor used to say, there's not much i've done that i'm ashamed of, but a lot i don't want on the front page of the paper


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 7:57 pm:
no kidding huh!!

alphuctup 41M

8/2/2006 7:24 am

Hell I'm resigned to, but jail I'd like to avoid...are blog comments admissible as evidence


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:08 pm:
no way man...your secrets are safe here...

silverbreeze2 67F

8/2/2006 7:33 am

    Quoting timberwolf6972:
    What have you done that you're not eactly proud of??

    Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could??

    What's the worst thing you've ever done?

    Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still??

    I plead the 5th ammendment on all the above and alot of other shit too! Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies!
I have to go along with timberwolf6972 on this one!

Great post though!


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:10 pm:
hahaha...well, I can't say i'm not disappointed..I was looking forward to some juicy secrets from you!

Intensity4U 54M
7432 posts
8/2/2006 7:54 am

Hey Lusty Geez... I have done a lot of things I'm not proud of. There are things I did when I was young, stupid and under the influence of something. And things I've done as an adult and also self-medicated to keep from going crazy over the guilt.

I've learned to put almost all of it in the past, but there's one stupid incident when I was about 18 or so that just makes me cringe when I remember it. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a horrible sin (I bet a lot of people would bust out laughing about it) but it was cruel. I didn't think it was at the time, but when it struck me later how cruel it was and I was really disgusted with myself.

I hope you take curiousinlorain7's comments to heart - man is flawed, it's not our place to judge others or decide what God will forgive.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:11 pm:
thanks...lorain's comment was very wise and spoken from the heart, as was yours, thankyou.

absolutelynormal 57F
6563 posts
8/2/2006 7:56 am

Yeah, I have a lot of regrets, things I would change and none of the unfamiliar to you. I can't change the past though, I have to get on the best I can now without repeating the things I did that made me feel so terrible. Mac


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:13 pm:
I try not to do the stupid dumbass things more than two or three times...unless they were really fun...

ZZ_Todd 61M

8/2/2006 8:26 am

First off, I applaud you for the courage to share your secrets with us, who are for the most part, strangers. A man's strenght is not measured by the size of his arms, but by the size of his heart... this post, and others I've read along similar lines, tells me that you are indeed a very strong man.

Now, in regards to your questions for us:
What have you done that you're not eactly proud of??I had an affair, brief, very brief, with my brother's wife.

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could?? I would not have had that affair with my brother's wife; it just wasn't worth the cost of my brother's friendship.

What's the worst thing you've ever done? I had an affair with my brother's wife.

Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still?? Well, not anymore... having just now revealed my worst one.

Keep hangin' in there LT... you're a better man than most!


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:16 pm:
thanks for the compliment Todd...

Thanks for sharing a piece of your life too. I don't few things like this as requiring courage...I just few them as facts, I'm done with them and they have no power. If it can help a few people shed some demons all the better.

ButteryDelight 60F

8/2/2006 8:34 am

What have you done that you're not exactly proud of??Yes. I am not proud of the way I held on to my anger and refused to forgive my father for so long. Then when I finally forgave him and got to see him for the first time since I was ten years old, he died a short while later.

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could??Yes. I would have forgiven him sooner, got over my fears and spent more time with him.

What's the worst thing you've ever done?Ummm. I'm not sure but I think it was when I blew up a trash can in the science lab in Junior High School...

Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still??By that do you mean things I am ashamed of that I have done? Yes. But, they are not secrets as I have told my closest friends and family.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:18 pm:
Thankyou fpr sharing a bit of your life here. It's a good reminder for us not to put things off...just do it.

funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
8/2/2006 8:54 am

What have you done that you're not eactly proud of?? Many things.

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could?? No, I have no regrets.

What's the worst thing you've ever done? Not ready to share that on blog yet.

Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still?? No, Im always open


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:19 pm:
It's good you don't have any secrets...they can eat away at your soul.

expatbrit49 64M

8/2/2006 10:35 am

I thought we have had this conversation before....
I can honestly say that if I am run over by a bus tomorrow the only thing I will regrett is not looking before stepping out onto the road

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:20 pm:
hahaha...I promise the next post is more fun and less reflective ExPat...

multitasksextoy 60M  
3511 posts
8/2/2006 11:51 am

I sincerly believe we live heaven and hell here on earth,it's up to us to decide which.I have done a lot of things I'm not proud of,but don't regret any(they make me who I am today),that is how we learn from our mistakes(notice I didnt say sins,I said mistake) We are only as sick as our secrets!!!


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:22 pm:
I think that is mostly true rawhide...thanks.

MWWwantmore 52F

8/2/2006 12:32 pm

LOL I will be a politician on this one and say......

NO COMMENT!



I'll have a cafe, mocha, vodka, valium latte to go please!

Good girls go to heaven.....bad girls go down!!


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:23 pm:
..fair enough!

have I told you yet that I LOVE your picture?...if not, I LOVE your picture, and thankyou for coming around my blog so often......partly because I LOVE your picture...

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
8/2/2006 1:56 pm

Yup there are things that I've done that Im not proud of. I have made my peace with most of them. I wish that I could change them, but I also know that these actions molded my character in a good way. I'm a better and more understanding person because I've walked in or closely in the shoes of many other people. That makes me a better friend.

Yup...this juiciness is from me....

S


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:24 pm:
well, I can say there is very little that would shock me...

RevJoseyWales 70M/67F
14393 posts
8/2/2006 3:32 pm

I've done a shitload of things I'm not proud of. some of which, yes I would like to go back and undo. What's the worst thing I've eve done? Still can't comment on that one. Statute of limitations you know. Am I still carrying a dirty little secret? Yeah, a lot of them. And they will go with me to the grave. They have to. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:25 pm:
I understand that Joe...I hope we can meet up sometime.

JuicyBBW1001 56F

8/2/2006 6:02 pm

Hmmm I am thinkin we will have lots of company. Hubby Oh and in case you didn't know ZZ_Todd has deemed you the millionaire and I am your wife. Now where are my diamonds and furs. I need them on this deserted island.

Juicy


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:26 pm:
hahaha...I found that post, and it was awesome...thanks for telling me...

marywannado 44F

8/2/2006 8:58 pm

What have you done that you're not exactly proud of?? Cheated on my sweet baby, not long into our relationship....

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if ya could??? I would've never cheated..

What's the worst thing you've ever done??? Cheated.. duh

Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still?? Hmm, nope...


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:27 pm:
seems like a lot of us have that "thing" we just can't shake.

florallei 100F

8/2/2006 9:50 pm

Hi Lusty,

I have such respect for you. I would be proud to walk down the street with you my friend.
I am having an affair now with a man I deeply love and who is my soulmate...It doesn't feel wrong but I know better.
I would undo 20 years of wasted youth that I lived thru with my ex except for having my children...I still would have adopted them.
The worst thing I have done was allowing my ex destroy the emotional health of my children by not leaving and protecting them.
I am still having an affair and do not intend on ending it.
I guess I too will end up in hell. I will try to be good company for you.
HUGS
flo


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:29 pm:
thank you very much flo...

I understand your situation very well, and thanks for sharing a bit of your life here.

digdug41 50M

8/2/2006 10:15 pm

I've done alot of things I'm not proud of and it kinna parallels your life inna sense as far as the affairs and the alcohol although I went farther as far as the drugs but pretty much the same LT so if there's hell below then I guess we're all gonna go

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:30 pm:
I don't know that I actually believe in hell, I know I have lived though what seemed like hell thoigh.

rm_aWench4U 63M/62F
741 posts
8/2/2006 11:34 pm

Lusty,

I respect you more now than before, which was already a lot, because of the courage you displayed by this post. As so many have said, it's not the things we do that condemn us to hell, but lack thereof, at least in the Christian tradition. If you've confessed them to God, asked his forgiveness, and accepted the payment his son made, then you're ok.

As far as regrets go--we all have them, whether we admit it or not. The fact that so many here won't reveal their "dirty little secrets" is proof enough, at least to me. But I don't mean to stand in judgment! HELL NO! I have my own boatload to account for, and the measure we use to judge is the measure by which we will be judged. I'm not that stupid!

So, What have I done that I'm not exactly proud of? PLENTY! I think I can best sum them up under the category of hurting people.

Would I go back and change anything if I could? I like to say no, because the choices I made influenced who I am today. But in truth, I'm not always happy with where some of those choices landed me, so, yeah, I'd change a few things. Chief among them would be undoing the hurt I caused others.

What's the worst thing I've ever done? It's tough to choose just one, and when looked at "on the curve," some would say that's nothing, while others would be appalled. Therefore, I respectfully decline to answer the question.

And last, Do I have any dirty little secrets? Yes, unfortunately I do. But none that I'm willing to divulge here.

Bless you, LT, for being so open.

Angela


Remember the past but do not dwell there.
Face the future where all our hopes stand.


~Angela


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:37 pm:
I've hurt a few people along the way too unfortunately, and I wonder what's become of some of them.

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
8/2/2006 11:34 pm

Fucked a cousin? Ah hell no, I don't have any that I like well enough to do that. I swear when I read that I thought of my cousins and in my mind said "ick" and not because of the cousin thing, but because there's not one I'd even come close to doing, even if they weren't related.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:38 pm:
hahaha...now that's honesty!!...we wouldn't want to fuck an ugly cousin for sure...

SingleWarrior 53M

8/2/2006 11:41 pm

LT LT LT... You'll be WAY in back of that line, if in it at all!

Fist of all, there's many Church leaders that will be in front of the line.

Secondly, you ADMIT your mistakes. You acknowledge them.

Now...

What have you done that you're not exactly proud of??

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could??

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still??

Those answers will have to wait til posted in a blog near you


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:38 pm:
I'll be checking in on ya, and thanks for the kind words...

meerkittykat 43F

8/3/2006 2:33 am

I've done my share of bad things, all for reasons that sound like really good excuses but boil down to avoidance of responsibility.

I guess I differentiate things like breaking the law where no one's hurt (which is bad enough) to doing things to people that hurt them (which to me, is worse). I've lied and cheated others. I think the worst though is stealing 50 bucks from my college roommate who pissed of off. Like your story, it went to a couple cases of beer. I lost a friend. Pretty crappy trade-off, if you ask me.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:40 pm:
If it makes you feel any better, I've lost friends for less, and had to send a few to the curb who were not worth half as much.

free2chose2 67F

8/3/2006 4:00 am

If I told you, they wouldn't be my"dirty little secrets"anymore

Don't worry, be Happy


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:40 pm:
sure they would...who am I gonna tell...

Notfunanymore 106F
10289 posts
8/3/2006 8:01 am

I have secrets, but they are "secret"!


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:41 pm:
hahaha...so be it then, but if you change your mind...

PrincessKarma 45F
6188 posts
8/3/2006 9:32 am

I can't answer you publicly, dear...

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:42 pm:
I understand that PK...I may live to regret some of this public posting, or at least take some heat...

rm_FreeLove999 48F
16127 posts
8/3/2006 12:30 pm

and to top off my list of faults, here's some shameless self-promotion ... i would love to see you at A baby blog party if you can make it...



[blog freelove999]


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:46 pm:
I'll check it out Freelove...thanks..

4biddenlove4us 50F

8/3/2006 9:14 pm

Faith finds within her heart a windy sea,
A restless place of homeless, hopeless peace
In which there's neither passion nor release,
The changeless void whose changes never cease,
Having wrought this unwilled will to be.
Don't be to hard on yourself
We all Human and we all make mistakes in our lives
I won't judge you even if you judge me
Take care sweets, Time, is a great healer {=}


LustyTaurus replies on 8/3/2006 9:46 pm:
thank you very much....I found that very uplifting...

rm_cru1972 46M
4407 posts
8/3/2006 11:58 pm

First of all I say Shit apparently all my friends are going to hell And I won't be able to be with them. You see I have been there, but I was kicked out because they were afraid I would take over.

And I do have a sordid past as you well know. But I would never change a thing about it or I would never be the man I am today


Mermaidslut 51F

8/4/2006 3:46 am

    Quoting rm_cru1972:
    First of all I say Shit apparently all my friends are going to hell And I won't be able to be with them. You see I have been there, but I was kicked out because they were afraid I would take over.

    And I do have a sordid past as you well know. But I would never change a thing about it or I would never be the man I am today
yep, sounds like how i feel so I am with Cru!


rm_betty2563 55F
482 posts
8/5/2006 11:56 am

hello i'm betty..thank for you message..

bye


LustyTaurus replies on 8/10/2006 8:43 pm:
you're welcome...

goodatpoetry2 68M
16569 posts
8/5/2006 4:47 pm

Lusty,
Sorry to post so late but I haven't been here in awhile.
I see that not too many are opening up. Not everyone is willing to bare their pasts.
But I can almost match yours. When I was young, I was basically a crook. I DO write about that in my blog.
We got SO good at breaking into places that nothing was beyond us. We'd break into food stores when we were hungry. Gas stations when we needed gas. Anything. Anywhere.
Then we got the bright idea to break into the Catholic church. They had cigarette machines in the basement where they held bingo games. We figured "what the hell", no pun intended. So we did.
While we were there, we also stole the gold chalise used for confessions and other gold things. We smashed and tore all the gold stuff into little pieces and tried to pawn the gold. We figured it was real gold or close enough to it to be worth a bundle.
Were we surprised when it turned out to be worthless. The jeweler asked what it was before it was ripped apart. . We told him it was some kind of cup. He said if we hadn't smashed it, he could have given us $10 for it.
Those things are supposed to be gold. It looked like someone in that church was also not so honest.
So....don't feel bad. You're not alone.


LustyTaurus replies on 8/8/2006 9:42 pm:
that's really interesting about the church poetry...and youcan comment on any post anytime......no such thing as late here.

DIVISION77 41M
8337 posts
8/9/2006 11:14 am

What have you done that you're not eactly proud of??

Mainly, it's how I treat people at times. When I was in the military it was pretty bad. I would savage people verbally, shut them down. I've gotten better, but there are still traces of that which remain.

Is there anything you'd go back and undo if you could??

I would probably try to be a better individual and try to get along with people better.

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

There is no "worst", as I've never done anything outlandish like your post describes.

Do you have any "dirty little secrets" you're carrying still??

Everyone has secrets, it's just a matter of how deep they are and which ones resurface. Some people bury their secrets to save their sanity.

As for you, Taurus, between the drinking, the whoring and the thievery; I think we can chalk that up to a young man going through troubled times. The pressures wore you down and you thought there was no way out. It drove you to your final means.

It's a positive thing that you can stand up to your past.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


LustyTaurus replies on 8/10/2006 8:42 pm:
Hey Div

I was really curious how many folks would actually open up and tell a little of the darker side we all have.

Thanks for doing it.

I think you're right about the things I did. There was a time I definately did not know how to deal with things so I didn't...or at least not in a positive constructive way.

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