Breaking all the rules...  

LustyTaurus 49M
12038 posts
7/23/2006 1:29 am

Last Read:
3/18/2009 7:10 pm

Breaking all the rules...

Due to recent events for me here in blogland, some public and some private, I thought it would be worthwhile to enlighten you a little more to the way I think and act within a social network like this blog community.

There are four general rules that govern the operations of a Social Network, and I'll briefly shed some of my own thoughts as they apply to my blogging life:


A friend of my friend is my friend...

For the most part this is true for me, at least to open doors to an introduction to a blog that someone I like reads. Does it mean I'm going to like it and be a regular commenter?...Not necessarily. We all have different tastes, likes and needs.

An enemy of my friend is my enemy

This is where things tend to get dicey here in blogland...perhaps in life too. It speaks to loyalty and partisanship. Generally, I hold the belief that just because my friend doesn't see eye-to-eye with someone, it doesn't prevent me from having a positive relationship with them. It also does not prevent me from loving and supporting my friend. Many times, this view has helped bridge the gap between two estranged parties...as I served as the common bond. There are limits, and sometimes lines need to be drawn, but I believe many times they get drawn too early on.

A friend of my enemy is my enemy

In the past in RL, I've been a little cold to some initially because they are close to someone I do not respect or someone I outright dislike.
I've since learned that most everyone has positives about them, and people are complex. Where I may see and feel the worst in someone...the other may in fact have the opposite experience. Therefor, here in the blogs, a friend of my "enemy" is not automatically my enemy.

An enemy of my enemy is my friend

This is sort of amusing...how many times have we thought positively about someone just because they dislike the same person we do? I have to admit...it is a good door opener as there is that initial commonality...but it is weak and shallow at best. I believe this principle can be a foundation for the dreaded "clique"...lets find everyone who hates so-n-so and we'll form a club! Here in the blogs and in RL too, I've found this principle to be unwise as well, for many of the reasons already mentioned.

I've never posted anything like this before but I thought it worthwhile to get it out there.

Please share any thoughts you have on the above.

I fully expect some of you to disagree with some or all of my thoughts above...but I welcome the input.

I hope this day is good for all!


.LUSTYTAURUS

FYI...Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do it, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.


SingleWarrior 53M

7/23/2006 1:34 am

"FYI...Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do it, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

Unless, of course, they can't afford shoes Then you just steal their car... or bike... or skin the bottom of their feet bare and do the "in your skin" routine... or... I'm rambling, ain't I?


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 6:59 pm:
lol...maybe just a bit...but that's ok, it's allowed...

chasingfun27 39M
1108 posts
7/23/2006 4:12 am

If you really know the people involved then maybe you can apply some rules. Round here, however, reality is fluid so I wouldn't be too hasty to put my weight behind anyone or anything.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:01 pm:
I can't help it...even here I form some kind of weird cyber bond!!...but I agree, reality can be skewed here easily.

JuicyBBW1001 55F

7/23/2006 4:51 am

I try to remain neutral in all situations but I will come out fighting if someone really and truly hurt someone I love.

Juicy


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:02 pm:
I'm kinda the same way...and in RL, NOBODY messes with my family or kids.

sexyariesgirl 58F

7/23/2006 5:10 am

Ummmm...I think you've covered it pretty well LT! lol

Power To FOK


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:03 pm:
thanks aries...we'll see what the others have to say!!

libgemOH 57M/53F

7/23/2006 5:21 am

I'm thinking you are more right than most people would want to admit. This place has been likened to a suburban high school and those are definately the social norms for any high school I've ever seen.

Of sourse there are always the ones that throw it all askew....the ones that call em like they see em!! Thanks for being one of those!! -B


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:04 pm:
...thanks Lib...

JuicyBBW1001 55F

7/23/2006 5:28 am

Sorry LT for spamming your post like this but I really wanna know the answer to this one [post 437885]

Juicy


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:04 pm:
No apology required Juicy......I'll check that out too.

toothysmile 51M
16517 posts
7/23/2006 5:50 am

i have friends who don't get along with each other. it's sad.
i try to focus on the positive side of everything. i see no reason for hostility, especially here in blogville; we are here to have fun and i am having my share of it.
~smiles~


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:05 pm:
I do too Toothy, and that's good advice.

TXBITCH2006 50F

7/23/2006 6:31 am

I just try to treat people right. I may not always agree, but I try to be respectful when that is the case. Now, if somebody is my friends enemy is doesn't necessarily make them mine. I notice that here on blogland. If you piss somebody off, especially a popular blogger, you will feel the wrath of blogland. I ask why? Are they not capable of handling their own conflicts? My friends are perfectly capable of taking care of any problems they may have with somebody and they know I'm there if they need me. But do I rush in with guns drawn to come to their rescue? Absolutely not.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:16 pm:
That's my attitude to...when the guns and swords get drawn too soon I don't think any good can come of it.

rm_AnOddGirl 58F
3469 posts
7/23/2006 7:03 am

But my enemy is their friend whose enemy is my friend who is their enemy...
IRConfuse-ed

Ah hell, sooner or later in this small circle we are enemies or friends?

My only enemy is apathy. My friend is chocolate.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:22 pm:
mmmm ...CHOCOLATE...

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
7/23/2006 7:09 am

I think it's all a matter of personal choice. It never mattered to me if they were a friend's friend or enemy. I make my own choices, here and in RL. How a person acts or responds to me is the factor that decides how I treat or respond to them.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:24 pm:
that's a good position to take Daphne and one I would support.

multitasksextoy 60M  
3511 posts
7/23/2006 7:23 am

I always try to remain neutral and make up my own mind whether I don't like something or not,or like things or not. I have learned to always remain open-minded,my opinions can always change with the information available.Sometimes staying neutral can get you in trouble also,so be it, at least I am being true to myself and my beliefs.Just because I disagree about one subject does not mean I will disagree about all subjects.So Lusty I believe we all have a right to our own opinions ,but so does everyone else!!!!

Opinions are like assholes,everyone has one.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:25 pm:
I'll agree that staying neutral can get you in trouble...some people won't let you...its the "if you're not with me you're against me" thing.

rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
7/23/2006 7:40 am

I am my own person. I don't decide whose blog to read or not read based on their relationships with others. If I like it, I read it, I comment and I come back. I have developed some acquaintances and working on some friendships with fellow bloggers. If I have a strong friendship with another and if someone does something horrendous to them, then I will take action, depending on how my friend feels about it.
I'm finding that on here, too some folks take the most innocuous issues and blow them way out of porportion. I also see that what a few think of as major, tend to blow over, disappear and be forgotten on the matter of days.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:27 pm:
no question about that kritter...things tend to blow over real fast here...sort of like election promises...

rm_shaveclean2 57M/44F
691 posts
7/23/2006 7:45 am

Hi Again....This is all New to me. I kinda stick to Myself and The SMALL Group of Friends that I've Made Here. It seems As If AdultFriendFinder is Quickly Turning into Sweet Valley High! But I do know this I like This Post and Will definitely Return!!!
g:


g


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:28 pm:
thanks...and you are very welcome here...

moonlightphoenix 46F
6508 posts
7/23/2006 8:02 am

Well put. It gets pretty convuluted here. I know I've had my loyalties tested. My idea of my own loyalties, that is. I love drama, but just because so and so is having a "problem" with so and so, doesn't mean I'm going to automatically agree with one or the other or think either one is an asshole. Of course, I want to KNOW why they think the other is an asshole, and I'll usually think less of them for thinking the other is an asshole, but I can still be friends.

Whatevah.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:29 pm:
...it definately gets intense and confusing sometimes!!

RevJoseyWales 70M/67F
14393 posts
7/23/2006 8:06 am

Pretty much I'm gonna disagree with ya right on down the line with this one LT, but you can't really go by my response, seeing as I'm such a disagreeable bastard anyway.

Yeah, if you're a friend of my friend, I'm gonna treat you as a friend until shown otherwise. You may not stay that way, but at first, that's how it it.

Same thing on this one. And this may not be a good thing, but that's my make up. It's rare that an enemy of my friend will still be my friend also. I don't make friends easily, and the ones I DO make I am extremely loyal to.

Since most of my enemies here are political, a friend of theirs is honestly gonna be my enemy also. This is not hard and fast, but usuallyproves true.

Politicals make strange bedfellows. For the most part, an enemy of my enemy is my friend. At least for the moment. More of a ally than a friend really. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:31 pm:
I didn't know if this post would make sense in this realm or not Joe...I know it originated as a way for nations and Political parties to make decisions..and was adopted to apply to social networks.

silverbreeze2 66F

7/23/2006 8:10 am

This is a great post LT and I agree with what you have said. Wouldn't it be great in RL and Blogland if we all got along and liked each other, it would make our days so much better. I think keeping an open mind in RL and Blogs is the main thing. Again, this is a great post!
And I have always tried to keep in mind ( Don't judge a man until you have walked in his shoes). ( I have walked in those shoes, and I see things clearly now).
Have a good Sunday!


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:35 pm:
I don't expect everyone to get along...as in be friends...but a certain level of respect can be shown always.

norprin5 56M

7/23/2006 8:12 am

i just fuckin' hate everybody, man...

actually, i try to see the good in people first...and make my own decisions from there

King Nor XVIII


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:36 pm:


I know you do Norprin...

sassy1296 52F

7/23/2006 8:18 am

Since I first started blogging a couple of months ago it has been one drama after another. Who is one the list and who isn't. Who is lieing, who isn't.

I for the most part stay the hell out of it. Just like I did in school. Just because one person doesn't like another person does not mean I have to. I am an adult and I make up my own mind. I do not expect my friends to hang with someone that they don't like but at the same time I do not expect them to just bad mouth to me either.

I guess I will stay in the corner on this one, much like I did in highschool. I will let the cliques change as they often do week to week and just read what I like.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:38 pm:
I was pretty much the same way Sassy and I try to stay out of things here too

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
7/23/2006 8:39 am

I take people as they are. Their behaviors and attitudes sorts them into two catagories. Those who get my attention and those who do not. I don't put them into any other catagories unless they act like total assholes and then they have sorted themselves there. The total assholes get polite tolerance until they make themselves unpleasant to me. Then I ban 'em. If they become hostile in some way, they get the dressing down of their life. I usually find a way to do that which stings damned hard and that is often in circumstances which embarrass the hell out of them. I'm not vengeful and I don't seek it, but it seems like without fail a person will drop his pants for an asskicking without my having to seek 'em out at all. LOL! I just take advantage of the opportunity.

Yup...this juiciness is from me....

S


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 7:42 pm:
...just like RL..some people are just looking for it!!

moonfire2u 70F
2602 posts
7/23/2006 9:04 am

I may be naive or maybe just new to this all but I don't take this all that seriously to have enemies...no one can really do me any harm because I am not that concerned with what they say to me or about me...opinions are like assholes everyone has one...I enjoy the diversity here...I believe everyone here is a potential friend...and if they are not then they certainly don't automatically become put into an enemy catagory...we are all entitled to like whomever we want to like...we are not entitled to be rude or childish.

kind thoughts,
Moonfire


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:09 pm:
I think it may be a little different for some...I have bloggers here that I have met in person and are friends in RL now...I can only imagine the bonds and loyalties that form when there are several or many that hang out. Then we get to the blogs and some stranger makes a less than positive remark and whammo...you get the picture...

I enjoy the diversity immensly and I try to error on the side of caution and respect always in here.

meerkittykat 43F

7/23/2006 9:26 am

Lusty---

I think it's not a matter of agree or disagree--I think we all have a perspective on how we approach the personalities in Blogville.

Admittedly, I have consciously made a choice to not ingrain myself too much in the blogville social structure. I figure, I'm not in a place where I can offer much of myself to others outside of my writing, so I try to keep clear and not get so involved into the inner workings and relationships that exist here. That said, there are a handful of bloggers whom I would quickly rush to the defense of...the number of which I count on one hand.

That's not to say the other countless wonderful bloggers I read aren't deserving of it. It's more just a matter of me having to choose where to expend my emotional energy. Right now, blogland isn't the place...it's my life that requires that energy. As a result, aside from those 4-5 bloggers, I can typically take note of any unrest and walk away unscathed. Perhaps cold and unfeeling, but right now, it's a matter of emotional survival.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:11 pm:
nah, its not cold and unfeeling at all Meer...you've just learned the important lesson of how to pick your battles...

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
7/23/2006 9:29 am

My attitudes apparently are the same as yours.

If there were more of us willing and able to bridge those gaps the whole world would be a better place.

A calm head and fair dealings can make peaceful miracles happen and help people to resolve differences, many of which are only imagined, resulting from imagined slights. And even when slights are intentional; a calm head and fair dealings can make another think about the error of their ways. We are all teachers as well as students.

The opposite behavior is essentially the human trait which in extremes leads to gang mentality, war between nations. It's hard to make a logical case for that being a good thing.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:12 pm:
The one attitude I have trouble with is the mentality that if I'm not with you I'm against you...and most times it just isn't the case.

Thanks for your thoughts Corezon

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
7/23/2006 9:38 am

The enemy of my enemy is my friend grasshopper.
Make those shoes Nikes please


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:13 pm:
DAMN...I sold all the Nikes at a charity auction...I made enough to me some Adidas...

canyaz 49F
17087 posts
7/23/2006 11:14 am

In this unreal world of Blogville, I have often wondered how we can engage in the Human Condition. You just explained it. Thank You.

There is a difference between a good BJ and a bad BJ.
canyaz


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:15 pm:
It's actually remarkable how much "human-ness" there is emotionally speaking here in this electronic community...and you are very welcome...

JaniSux 45F

7/23/2006 11:50 am

"An enemy of my friend is my enemy" - what if they're both your friends..

Well... for example.. a recent 'tiff' that was going on... at first I was oblivious to it, and then when I was made aware of the tiff, I decided to keep my ass out of it.

Yes in my heart I had chosen a side, but every time the subject came up, I took two steps back and chose not to comment. The more something is discussed, sometime the more fuel it gives that monster, so I chose the wussy way out.. lol I still frequented the blogs of certain differring parties, because I like their blogs, no matter what they were going through. If they chose to post on the tiff, I chose another post to comment on.

It may have been the chicken shit way to handle it but in the end, nobody hates me for a comment made during the tiff.
I chose not to even specify about the parties in this comment because I'm not trying to bring that shit up again..

"Can't we all just get along.."
Janie

*group hugs*


Gee I hope this comment doesnt sound bitchy or sound like I'm mad or angry, it's not what I was going for, just trying to be straight with you.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:17 pm:
...you are a sweet and kind woman Jani...you didn't sound bitchy or whiny at all...

I agree with NOT addding fuel to the fire if at all possible

florallei 100F

7/23/2006 12:19 pm

Hi,

Firstly your post is very courageous and I respect your point of view.
When I went to church regularly years ago I came across so much backbiting and slander and jealousy. I understand why these things occur. We are all imperfect and in some cases the grudges continues for years even decades. I remain neutral always whether I am accused as a coward or indifferent. I feel they are all my friends and if they ever needed me I would help each and every single one.
Sadly when asked why they are angry at someone...these ones don't recall anymore why they are mad or angry. All they remember is to continue to be mad. See the childishness come out here?
I was not put down by the different clicks in church during those years. There really are times when people can see you don't want to take sides and yet listen and empathize with them without giving up your own principles.
If there are those who feel I must or should take sides with them and become upset with me for having a relationship with an enemy of theirs, it is clearly their problem and not mine. That is just how I feel and think about it.
Do you think I should be an ambassador or envoy to a country? hehehe
I really like this post and cheers to you Lusty!
flo


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:21 pm:
First off, just because someone says it, it doesn't make it true.

Second, don't evven get me started on churches...LOL...sad to say but I've been in some nasty ones for the points you mentioned!!

I feel the same way, if I am supporting my friends, and I am forced to take sides...then we've encountered the "if you're not with me, you're against me" mentality...when in reality, I just want my friends to be happy and at peace...or I just don't want to be involved.

rm_1sexyroo 57M/57F
333 posts
7/23/2006 1:11 pm

When you put it that way, it really does sound like school yard mentality, ie: "you're not my friend anymore cause you don't like so n so".
I would hope, that as this is an adult site and we are all supposed to be adults, that we would have all left that mentality behind. I guess it's true that age is just a number and doesn't reflect maturity at all!

Good post!


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:22 pm:
thanks roo...

Adulthood is not always measured in years...

QueenofBitches69 47F

7/23/2006 1:48 pm

Well my sexy dear, here is a little taste of my veiw on things.

I am no longer and will no longer be friends with sexymamma, wearlooking, and eyespy. And there are a few post, that they posted about me, that they did not name my name, and a few of my really close friends went into their blog and gave their support on these blogs. Now if my friends would have known that those blogs were about me, they would have never commented. And how do I know this? I informed them that the blogs they posted on were about me, and they were a little set back about it. Like the one you commented on when they spoke of Women vs Girls, that post was about me. But you didn't know. And it's all cool. I have alot of friends who are still friendly with them, so be it.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:30 pm:
You're right Queen...I would not have put myself in the middle of that or intentionally supported something negative towards you.

I don't know eyespy at all, and I've only interacted with sexymama a little bit.

I like waer, and I am quite fond of you, which you are well aware.

So, having said that, if there is anything I can do to help solve the issue with you and waer in particular I'm there. You know I'll listen you anything you have to say as well...

rm_DarknStar 55F
2823 posts
7/23/2006 3:48 pm

I just wanted to say Thank-You for the nice things, you said on my blog.

and Thank-you also for being a FRIEND!


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:30 pm:
You're very welcome Dark.....I hope you're feeling better.

red_hot_trucker 59F

7/23/2006 4:57 pm

Phew, I'm so glad I haven't had any beer yet today,,,

Your post reminds me of the crap that goes on in High School. The clicks, the likes and dislikes formed on one persons word, etc...So utterly glad I'm not there anymore. The difference between then and now, is I can readily choose who I allow into my world, based on my own thoughts and experiences. I do agree with your part on what one person likes I may not. That's what makes us unique as individuals. How special we are, each of us in our own way.

And by the way, thank you for the kind words you left in my blog. You and some of the rest helped me get through a bad night. God love you.





[post 1785076]


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:32 pm:
You opened up a new reality for me on your blog, thankyou for sharing it..., and I'm glad you felt encouraged.

SacredStarDance

7/23/2006 5:27 pm

great post and needed at this time..

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:33 pm:
thankyou MrsMuff....

ButteryDelight 59F

7/23/2006 5:43 pm

*sighs*..there will always be cliques and those with a high school mentality. I try to stay clear of the major conflicts in blogland because life is just too short to get upset about this kind of shit.

As for going only to certain blogs? I will read a blog and if I like it I will return. I don't always leave a comment but I do return.

Buttery Delight


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:34 pm:
that's the thing...I came to the blogs to help me get away from the crap in Rl...and maybe figure some things out I neede help with. I certainly don't need more to deal with here.

4biddenlove4us 50F

7/23/2006 5:49 pm

I ignore those who disrespect me although in the past I would take the bait, but not anymore. It takes a stronger person to walk away than one who retaliates and if I do, I know I do it with diplomacy ~smiles~


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:35 pm:
Yes...we can even disagree with respect..

Balibabe19 43F

7/23/2006 5:56 pm

Well you have been nice enough to stop by on my blog and I still get excited when a new person drops by and says hi...I think I am still in awe that connections are made all over the world via some cables and and technology...makes the world a lil smaller everyday...unfortunately in some instances it also intorduces to a few more assholes who we could have done without...but hey cest la vie!! Here's hoping the dust settles and the storm passes.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:36 pm:
it always does Bali......and I think I may visit your place again..

Looking4sex44240 55F

7/23/2006 9:58 pm

There are a lot of times I'll checkout blogs and not say anything, I usually come back later and leave a comment. I also try and stay away from the drama I have enough in my own life. There shouldn't be any fighting here, we're all adults we should be able to get alone.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:39 pm:
I know what you're saying and wholeheartedly agree...

funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
7/23/2006 10:44 pm

I think you put that in a measured way that is understandable and sensible. Not just because I agree, you understand


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:42 pm:
Yes, I understand, your comment was interesting and enlightening..

Bobbingjoy 61F
203 posts
7/24/2006 6:12 am

Great post, LT!

I sure agree with you, about the enemy of a friend is not necessarily my enemy, for sure.

I recently was the recipient of a g/f's highly negative opinion about a mutual acquaintance, a rather new guy member of a local swing group. She went so far as to pull me aside after awhile and warned me off the new guy. Taking her advice with many grains of salt, I listened to a couple of others' opinions about said acquaintance, some positive comments.

I'm now extremely glad I didn't take the first friend's negativity to heart... my own connections online and in RL with the "new" guy are fabulous, and I'm discovering how he's sensitive, really interested in me, intelligent, musical... and a super ummm...err...

Joy


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:44 pm:
I totally understand that joy...and you made the right decision...if my friend is my friend and treating me well, I would never put them in a position where they would have to abandon me to make a choice.

catseyes23 62F

7/24/2006 11:08 am

    Quoting rm_1sexyroo:
    When you put it that way, it really does sound like school yard mentality, ie: "you're not my friend anymore cause you don't like so n so".
    I would hope, that as this is an adult site and we are all supposed to be adults, that we would have all left that mentality behind. I guess it's true that age is just a number and doesn't reflect maturity at all!

    Good post!
I completely agree. After all, this is NOT real life.I have enough to deal with without the ramblings of madmen who take it upon themselves to think that they are the icing on the cake. If you don't like what I reply to you on your BLOG, then that is your prerogative to block me, dear LT.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:50 pm:
Cats!!...you came back!!...

Why would I block you Cats, I need to thank you.

catseyes23 62F

7/24/2006 11:16 am

    Quoting magahee77:
    I try not to get involved in any kind of drama that doesn't really involve me to begin with. I'm weird like that. I'll sit back and watch my friends get trashed up and down and not say a word. I figure they are big boys and girls and can handle it.
He has it right - who is one to argue? I finally found a man with a good head on his shoulders!


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:51 pm:
I like Mags too, he is one of a kind.

Intensity4U 53M
7432 posts
7/24/2006 11:51 am

Hey Lusty Great thoughts - especially on the last two rules.
A friend of my enemy is my enemy I definitely agree that some people can find the good in others that I can't or there are the peacemakers who can get along with everyone. Also you have to leave a little room for the clueless, like me, who generally have no idea what controversies are going on.

An enemy of my enemy is my friend Definitely not a basis for a friendship and you have to wonder about their motives if they weren't a friend before. I'll say that even though it could be said we sorta connected because we can't stand Dr. Phil - it was actually because we appreciated the humor we found in trashing Dr. Phil.

And I know you could whip his ass in a contest of Being Real!


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:53 pm:
hahaha...I think hating and making fun of Dr. Phil is a perfectly plausible ecuse to start a friendship...and with all the crap he's spewed over the years..we'd be good for a while!!

Greekgirl4u06 40F

7/24/2006 12:46 pm

excellent post and point of view! i bet you are one helluva conversationalist, keep up the good work


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:54 pm:
wow...thankyou. I'll be looking for reasons to keep you coming back, that's for sure...

HBowt2 60F

7/24/2006 1:59 pm

i make my own friends and I make my own enemies....dont have many of them....and have lots of friends....and those i have allow me to make my own decisions....


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:55 pm:
Friends don't always agree...but they always respect each other.

a123rat 50M
1113 posts
7/24/2006 4:22 pm

Even if you chose not to make a choice, that's still a decision.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:57 pm:
You're right rat...sometimes it's a good one, sometimes not.

Damn_Dilemma 50F

7/24/2006 8:13 pm

    Quoting Intensity4U:
    Hey Lusty Great thoughts - especially on the last two rules.
    A friend of my enemy is my enemy I definitely agree that some people can find the good in others that I can't or there are the peacemakers who can get along with everyone. Also you have to leave a little room for the clueless, like me, who generally have no idea what controversies are going on.

    An enemy of my enemy is my friend Definitely not a basis for a friendship and you have to wonder about their motives if they weren't a friend before. I'll say that even though it could be said we sorta connected because we can't stand Dr. Phil - it was actually because we appreciated the humor we found in trashing Dr. Phil.

    And I know you could whip his ass in a contest of Being Real!
I would hate to be yours or his enemy but even more afraid if I was and enemy of of one of your friends, I have enough enemies, I don't need more thanks


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 9:57 pm:
...you don't have anything to worry about from me!!...and i have a few non-friendlies around my life too.

fortunaswm 63M/53F

7/24/2006 9:33 pm

You always seem to inter-connect your heart with your intellect Lusty - wise words you share - enough said.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 10:39 pm:
thankyou fortun...we all do in fact, whether it's positive or negative or indifferent.

florallei 100F

7/24/2006 9:54 pm

Lusty,

Hello, now that I got you started on churches...keep on...we can probably compare notes (wink) LOL.
flo


LustyTaurus replies on 7/24/2006 10:06 pm:
Ok then...here's an organized and supposedly like-minded group of people whose sole purpose is to worship God, learn how to be better servants and models of the life and purpose of JC and everything he taught...and I found them to be the most petty, whiny, judgemental, unforgiving, arrogant, self-righteous, cheap, self-serving, obtuse, uneducated, ignorant, blasphemous, hypocritical, snobby, class-based, backstabbing, gossippy and generally unlikeable people I've ever had the misfortune of being around...and those were the nice ones...

waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

7/25/2006 12:07 am

Great post and it really got me thinking. There has been a lot of bickering and taking sides on the blogs lately. I'm going to have to re-think some things are you sure you aren't a psychologist in disguise? As for the walking a mile in someone else's shoes, God I hope they're comfortable..........my feet are killing me.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/26/2006 9:12 pm:
hahaha...I'm not a psychologist exactly. but I am a sales executive and an ex-bouncer so I've had to learn a fair bit about the way people tend to operate...

florallei 100F

7/25/2006 7:09 am

Hey Lusty,

TY for the feedback, LOL I can so relate unfortunately...and "those were the nice ones" LOL...but eh don't hold it against God okay? It is the religious fanatics that are the self serving, arrogant ones...not Him my friend.
flo


LustyTaurus replies on 7/26/2006 9:13 pm:
My pleasure...I MAY have a few unresolved issues to deal with though huh?...

rm_Kissmystuff 62F
1435 posts
7/25/2006 9:56 am

Good post! One should make choices based on reasoned information..not because someone else feels a certain way. Why be one of the pack and run on all fours..when you can stand on two feet and think and behave like sentient being?

Kiss

Kiss


LustyTaurus replies on 7/26/2006 9:50 pm:
exactly what I think too kiss...

concupiscentKid 41M

7/25/2006 12:49 pm

This is a great post.
I agree with your outlook completely.
This reminds me of Heider's (not sure I'm remembering his name
correctly) Balance Theory, which I read about some years ago while
studying cognitive dissonance.


LustyTaurus replies on 7/26/2006 9:21 pm:
The most interesting part of that theory is that a person is most likely to achieve psychological balance through the attitude change that requires the least amount of effort.

ie)I love Halle Berry and I loath coconut...therefor if Halle was in a commercial promoting coconut, I would automatically assume she is broke and needs the money cause there is NO WAY I'm eating coconut!!

I have instantly achieved psychological balance...

DIVISION77 40M
8337 posts
7/26/2006 2:38 pm

I tend to have my own outlook on people, because I analyze by default, so regardless of whatever other conjecture is out there, I have my own say.

The people I dislike, I dislike for a reason.

They have either imposed in some way or tried to intercede where it wasn't warranted.

I don't dislike people out of spite.

There are reasons.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


LustyTaurus replies on 7/26/2006 9:24 pm:
Thanks for weighing in on this DIV...with the way that you think, I cannot see you being swayed too much about another person based purely on what someone else thinks.

ArtisticTwist75 42F
2505 posts
7/28/2006 12:47 am

Thanks for bringing this post to my attention. It did apply and I appreciate it...

Artistic


LustyTaurus replies on 7/30/2006 11:24 pm:
You are welcome Artistic, and thanks for taking the time to read it...

rm_aWench4U 62M/62F
741 posts
7/30/2006 11:04 pm

I tend to like the people I like, regardless of whether or not others like them. This has led to a rather eclectic group of associates, which makes gatherings (dinners, parties, etc.) interesting is nothing else.

I tend to stay fairly neutral in most any disagreemnt, which comes with a price at times. Some people get miffed if I don't take sides, but I really try to see both sides of an issue. If asked my opinion, I will give it, and I don't really care if you agree or not. I do try to be tactful, but I speak the truth as I see it, which is NOT sugar-coated. Consequently, I have two or three very close friends, and lots of acquaintences. But it works for me.

Remember the past but do not dwell there.
Face the future where all our hopes stand.


~Angela


LustyTaurus replies on 7/30/2006 11:26 pm:
I have a few friends with whom I agree to disagree with on many things, but some friendships have also soured for me because of the mentality that says if I'm not with em I'm agin em......sucks to be them!!

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