Vaginismus (Something Everyone Should Know)  

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
3114 posts
2/22/2005 9:16 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Vaginismus (Something Everyone Should Know)


Through all my sex studies I have only come across one book that actually mentions this. This is something that many of you men should be aware of! Mistreatment of women sexually or none sexually can affect them in very serious ways. (Fu***** a woman who wants to be made love to, or making love to a woman who wants to be fu**** can cause this kind of thing).

Vaginismus is an "involuntary tightening" of the vaginal muscles that can make penetration very painful and in some more serious cases impossible! It is proven fact that nearly 73% of “all” women have or will develop "some" type of vaginismus within their life.

(I first encountered this before I even knew what it was. My best friend and I were talking and she expressed to me that intercourse was very painful for her. When I asked her why it was so painful all she could say was that the entire penis was hurting her when inside her. It was not till almost a year later that I stumbled upon this in a book and called her the next day to have her come over and read the information about it. Due to the fact intercourse “is” painful for her she now only has sex with women instead of men and women like she use to).

I got my first experience of what it would like to be as a sex therapist here. The information at the time was very limited and still is for a lot of people. The truth of the matter is that vaginismus is physical and yet psychological. This is why sex therapists exist; many sexual problems are in our heads and then effect us physically afterwards.

I spent more and more time talking to her after reading about this. It bothered me a great deal to know someone I cared for was having so much trouble. Through our conversations I questioned her BI-sexual nature in hopes to find a cure. We analyzed her activities since she first lost her virginity, yet it came to no resolve. Finally I got bold and asked her directly how it was she liked to have sex? Her reply was that she liked things soft and slow. My next question was, “do guys give it to you soft and slow?” The answer was not too much surprise, “NO”.

That was the problem, she did not want to be having intercourse the way she was actually having it. The men she was having sex with did not care enough or know enough about what kinds of things can result from abusive activities. Having sex with a woman in a rough manner when she does not want it rough can result in scaring or vaginismus in general.

I grew up surrounded by abused women so I learned at a very young age that men hurt women more then they help them. I can’t say I liked my childhood much, but now that I look back upon it I am happy for it. I have seen what abuse can do both physically and mentally, because of that it has kept me from being a jerk like most guys (especially guys my age or younger).

Although it was the guy’s fault for the most part, it was "also" hers because she didn’t remind them they were hurting her. This also falls back upon the “communication” issue, you “have” to communicate to your partner about what does and does not work sexually! A man should be able to tell if you do or do not enjoy what you are getting. Let’s face it though, all you ladies know darn well that most men don’t care about anything other then eating you out or getting their penis wet! Like the old saying goes, “assumption is the mother of al f*** ups!” Never assume anything when it comes to sex! Sex is a two way street and so are relationships in general.

If this is something you are having trouble with then you should see your doctor. They do have medical cures for some instances but most of it is mental issues. Many of the guys I know always brag about how tight some girl’s vagina is or was. I know damn well that they have some form of vaginismus and the guy doesn’t care cause she is nice and tight for him. If a vagina is abnormally tight then there is an issue that needs to be fixed. When a woman is aroused her vagina "should" have some give to it! If there is no give then as a man you need to express to your partner that although it feels wonderful she might want to get checked.

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
1241 posts
2/22/2005 9:23 am

This is caused by "any" form of abuse and can develop at any age.

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