Sexual Experience (Posted wrong the first time)  

LoyaltyandHonor 36M/32F
3114 posts
7/3/2005 6:54 pm

Last Read:
3/31/2006 2:11 pm

Sexual Experience (Posted wrong the first time)

Lack of Experience

I am still in a strange place over this…

Today before I was going to bed, I was thinking of how I would handle it if I ever met a woman that could not orgasm properly due to a possibility of reasons. Then when I logged on this afternoon, I had several new emails. One of them was from a woman that does not live in the states. I contacted her and found out through a reply that the reason she contacted me was because of whom I am (a lover and a true romantic). As well as the fact that I study sex and she has not ever been able to orgasm before in her life. The specific reason, well that is none of anyone’s business, all I shall say is that, as with most cases, it has to do with physical abuse.

I have mentioned this topic previously, but I am going to mention it again right here and now…

Monks wrote the ancient sexual texts. Someone recently commented on my blog stating that monks do not know enough. Well, sex has to do with psychology more then it does actual physical pleasure. As many sex therapists state over and over, “The brain is the largest sexual organ within the human body.” Monks focus on understanding people and society, where as doctors focus more on only what can physically be proven through actual physical tests. Most modern doctors do not really try to understand much, they just focus on what can or can not be proven.

It was scholars like me that wrote the ancient texts, and that explains why only us philosophers have the true ability to understand them. Even as the personality tests her shows… the written word is a highly sacred thing to us INFJ’s. Regardless of us having sex or not, we have always been able to understand love better then anyone else in history. Love is a state of emotion and that falls under a philosopher’s territory and not a doctor or a scientist.

Let’s take the Kama Sutra for example…

“While the woman is lying on his bed, absorbed in conversation, the man should loosen her undergarments, and when she begins to protest, he should overwhelm her with kisses. Then when his lingam is erect, he should touch her with his hands in various places, and gently manipulate various parts of her body.” ‒ The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra

Clearly we see here that while men are to be aggressive, they are not to be an animal about it. It is really rather interesting because many men today would go right after a woman’s vagina without bothering to stimulate her in the process. Here we see within a text written several thousand years ago that the men were actually more sophisticated then, then most men are today. Even back then, they knew that a woman must be caressed and treated with respect. While they did not treat women with a great deal of respect within society, they did in fact treat them good in the bedroom! We see that they are revealing that they do not just believe in strictly genital stimulation and that it is important to focus on the entire body. In today’s society, many men and women, often only focus on the penis or the vagina. Even a lot of married couples do not make love in modern society as passionately as many people did two thousand years ago.

“If she is a young girl, he should first put his hands on her breasts, which she would probably cover with her own hands, and under her armpits and on her neck.” ‒ The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra

Now we see things get far more interesting here…

Notice the word “young?” Many people I know think this to mean “virgin”. Such a person who would think a thing is indeed rather foolish. The truth is that when the Kama Sutra says, “young”, it is actually referring to “sexual experience” in general. A virgin is not experienced and thus she should be stimulated all over the body in order to help her learn what she truly thinks feels good. Many people today believe that just because they have actually had sex, that they know everything there is to possibly know about it. They also then begin to shun anyone who is still a virgin… suddenly after most men get wet or a woman gets stretched, he or she becomes a totally arrogant person.

Recently a co-worker informed me that a woman he is sleeping with had been married for many years. During that marriage, the only thing her husband did was fu** her like a pornstar. Thus when he began making love to her, she did not know what to do or how to react. Despite her 50+ years of having sexual intercourse with her past husband, she had no idea at all how to make love because she had never thought about it and most certainly had never actually experienced it before.

This gal today, has not experienced what truly pleases her because she has been violated. This is “not” her fault, just as the previous example was not the woman’s fault. It is the man’s fault for being such a pig-headed animal. As seen in the first example, a man is “not” to take a woman by force!

Both the previous woman and the current women have had sexual intercourse before. They do not actually have sexual experience though because the first one has never made love till recently and the one today has never had the pleasure of an orgasm. This goes to show how little many people truly think, they once again think that because they have had sex once or more that they know all about the physical and psychological aspects involved with it. If it really is true that a sexually active person is so godly then why is it that one of these women had never had a man make love to her and the other women has never had an orgasm? I think these two examples alone make a very valid point!

A man is to help a woman explore herself! He is not to show her what she desires because the only person that has a right to actually say what they do or do not desire is each individual person themselves. Even two thousand years ago when the Kama Sutra was written, men did not control women all the time like many believe. Men control women more today then they did in various cultures through history.

“If however she is seasoned, he should do whatever is agreeable to him or to her and fitting.” ‒ The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra

Here we see that once a woman has had enough experiences, a man should then begin asking her what she does and does not like. At a certain point, a woman has a right to tell a man what to do and not the man tell her what to do. In either case, a man should be doing what is best for the woman more then he is for himself. While they did not have the medical knowledge back during this time, modern medical facts have proven that women have a much more advanced body then men do. Perhaps this is why so many men treat women badly… they fear them due to the fact they know they are more sexually and psychologically advanced then they are? Even though women are more advanced, a man should not fear them for it, instead it should just make them love them even more. I feel badly for a lot of women because men claim to love them so much and then when it comes to sex, all they really love is the vagina between their legs.

There is much for men to learn from women and there is much women can learn from men. A man alone is very barbaric, but with the help of a true woman, can learn how to be both barbaric and loving as well. This goes for a woman as well, a woman alone with only women are often very feminine, in fact… too feminine. With the partnership of a man though, they often learn to balance that feminine side with their masculine side. I see this as the primary reason that man and woman naturally attract, they both need one another to survive. Even amongst gay couples… one of the partners is far more masculine than the other. They may be of the same sex, but they are in fact often totally different types of the same sex. This also follows my theory (probably a theory of someone else’s that I have not heard about in my studies). What I do know though is that when sexology first came about, it was not really just a study of physical aspects. It was actually a study of the “battle of the sexes”. Meaning… men think one way and act one way, while women think one way and act a certain way as well. The object was to isolate the differences and then try to find out how they came to be so.

In physical sex, men and women are often very different. Most men do not care very much about their virginity (unless they are religious). Most women do in fact care a great deal about how they loose their virginity regardless of religious beliefs or not. The problem with women however, is that this makes them total hypocrites because often they desire to make love the first time they have sex and then only desire to fu** from that point on. It is my theory that a woman’s entire life can be decided/altered by how she looses her virginity. If she looses it how she desires, she will often remain a woman. If she looses it in a way that she does not desire, she will often regret it for her entire life and thus no longer care about following her true desires. (This is actually more complicated then I am mentioning, but I am not going to explain this theory in detail here, just merely mention it as I have).

I feel bad for this woman who can not orgasm, because most men will not be able to help her. I think very differently then most men (especially for my age) and if I were the man, I would focus on manual stimulation until she learned to trust me and then orgasm regularly. From that point on, I would then move to actual intercourse, not until she first learns to orgasm without intercourse though.

Seeing as I know a lot more then most men though, and have achieved this through studying… I must suggest to her that she stop physical contact with men all together and spend some time learning to masturbate. Many modern doctors have proven that most women do not orgasm regularly until they masturbate regularly.

This specific gal has been abused and probably has lost faith in men. The fact she has not had good luck with relationships is very bad as well. At this point, she needs to say, “the hell with men” and focus on what she personally desires and not what “any” man desires. She has given men a chance and men have failed to please her!

That brings me to the actual point of this post…

If a woman knows she can not orgasm from sex, then why would she still desire to have sex? Just because a woman can not orgasm does not mean she will not still desire to have sex. You must think logically though… she obviously wants something out of it! Fu**ing is more about orgasms and achieving them quickly. Making love is about connection or connection with orgasms.

Fu**ing does not involve a deep connection… anyone can figure out how to fu** and anyone can fu** someone they meet.

If a woman can not achieve physical pleasure from sex then that only leaves the possibility of emotional pleasure. That emotional pleasure comes from you showing her that you love her and that means “making love” and not fu**ing like some kind of animal.

Men must realize that all women have different needs and it is his job to find out what those needs are and then do his darndest to fulfill them! If you are not willing to risk your life for a woman, then you have no right to even have sex with her! If you are willing to enter her sacred and beautiful body, you should be willing to defend that very body and soul with your life!

You “must” allow women the maximum pleasure possible! If you know a woman can not orgasm and wants to feel emotional connection still then you need to bite your desire to fu** and give her the emotional connection that she desires. If you can not give it to her, then be honest with her and tell her that you can not give her what she wants. Then, tell her she needs to find it from someone else because you obviously are not the right man for her. Most men would just have sex with her and then not call her again… that is because most men do not have the courage that women do. Women can face love, men are too cowardly to handle it let alone face it for even 5 seconds.

If you know you can’t help her, then don’t be afraid to admit it. If you attempt to help her and fail, you are just going to hurt her even worse! If you have sex with her just to get pleasure after telling her you want to help, then you are definitely going to hurt her physically and very emotionally!

(I have much more I could add to this, but I must get ready for work. I had to rush through writing this, but my points are still pretty darn solid despite my hurry to make them).

LoyaltyandHonor 36M/32F
1241 posts
7/5/2005 7:53 am

Good point Juju I am glad that you are back!

juju34single 47F

7/5/2005 2:15 am

Before another argument about spelling breaks out, there is a differance in how some parts of the world teach grammar.
the schools in my area here do not teach the old style of spelling words like armor, honor and color.
So big deal, you say potAto, I say potato.
As long as the point gets across, and the brain muscle doesn't get sprained, that is all that counts.

LoyaltyandHonor 36M/32F
1241 posts
7/4/2005 11:39 am

I only have so many characters allowed in my name wyvern. The way in which you spelt it was already taken as well.

In America, it is often spelt "honor".

Just like "armor in america is spelt armor and in other countries they say it as "armour".

wyvernrose 39F  
3962 posts
7/4/2005 8:14 am

couldn't you have at least spelt it right? it is Honour


wyvernrose 39F  
3962 posts
7/4/2005 8:13 am

not seen anyone make that exact statement actually mystic or honor as your handle now reads (would really like to know how you did that) and the difference makes a great deal in the context you have used it...


LoyaltyandHonor 36M/32F
1241 posts
7/4/2005 4:32 am

You are not the only one to make a comment like that wyvern... you were not my point of refference.

wyvernrose 39F  
3962 posts
7/3/2005 8:27 pm

"Someone recently commented on my blog stating that monks do not know enough."

Actually Mystic what I said was they don't know everything....

Misquoting again?


LoyaltyandHonor 36M/32F
1241 posts
7/3/2005 6:59 pm

Sorry, this posted wrong the first time. It is correct now

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