Flattery Can get You Everywhere  

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
3114 posts
3/14/2005 3:57 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Flattery Can get You Everywhere

Something that every woman deserves

It never hurts to take a moment from your day to give a gift to your loved one. Many people seem to think that all gifts require money. This is not the case… there are numerous things in which you can do for a woman that does in fact involve spending money. There are also numerous things that you could do in which you do not have to spend any money at all. Sometimes the cheap and simple gifts are actually more meaningful then the big expensive ones.

Remember that when you do something for someone else (especially someone you love) it should not be done with the expectation of getting something in return. The definition of a gift is… something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation. If by chance you do happen to get something in return then you could accept it, or if you wish you may decline it. Do not go off getting upset though if you do not get anything out of it. Giving something only to get something is not what gifts are all about! If you give a gift to someone and they give one back to you then it is not really an exchange. Obviously you have done something that made them feel something and they suddenly desire to make you feel something similar in return.

Here is a short list of things you can do for your loved one to show appreciation or affection…

Send her flowers: Flowers are something that many women enjoy, there are a few things to consider when sending a woman flower’s though. Flowers do eventually die; therefore you want to make sure they are as fresh as possible. If you go out on a date and bring flowers then you have to remember that once the date is over the flowers then become a representation of your feelings for her and overall impression of her. If you really care for her then you would take the little bit of extra time or money required in making sure that the flowers are fresh. Every time she looks at them she is going to remember you, obviously the longer they last the longer she will remember your gesture.

Something to keep in mind when getting a woman flowers is the meaning of the flowers you send. Yes, it is true; flowers do actually have different meanings! For instance… a red rose can be a representation of love and respect, just respect, or just love. It is most common though for the red rose to be a symbol of love. A yellow rose is commonly a representation of friendship. You can mix these two flowers to send a message of “a loving friendship” if you desire to. The real point being in the fact that you can actually create a secret message with the mixture of different flowers. There will be many women who would decipher you message quickly and others who will have absolutely no idea what possible message it gives.

You do not always have to actually go to a store and buy the flowers. You can always stop along the side of the road and pick a wild flower(s) to bring home. You could also take them from your own garden (if you have one) before you walk into the house. Either way, it is the thought that counts!

Breakfast in bed: While your lady is asleep you can sneak out of bed and prepare her a nice breakfast of your choice. Obviously it would help a great deal to know what her preference is and then prepare something that suits it. Grab a tray and bring it up to her, place the tray next to her. Gently awaken her, when she awakens she will be greeted with a pleasant surprise! Always a good way to start off the day now isn’t it? Nothing is better then a beautiful and genuine smile from a woman!

Cook a dinner: Even today many women still seem to mainly be the cook of a lot of households. Sometimes it can be a real treat to cook the dinner so she does not have to. This would work well just about any given day; it would work best though if you happen to know your lady has had a rather stressful or bad day. Obviously she would be even more stressed at the idea of having to go right home and prepare a meal. Imagine her surprise if she was to walk in and see a meal already prepared! Talk about a sudden stress relief and true moment of happiness.

Jewelry: Jewelry can be a tricky thing… not all women like jewelry and some women are actually allergic to certain types. This is something that you should buy if you know the woman you are buying it for. Nothing is worse then spending a large amount of money and then getting it home to her just to discover she does not like it or is unable to wear it. This could result in possibly a bigger hassle then anything else, I know it is a very nice gesture, but you may want to stick with something that won’t possibly backfire.

Calling to say hello: Sounds strange doesn’t it? Sometimes it is very nice for a man to make a spontaneous call to his lady that will show her he has been thinking of her even while they are apart.

Cuddling: Us men are known for only getting close to a woman when we want to get a piece of action. Imagine the surprise when you actually get close to your lady without actually trying to take it further. Wrap your arms around her and hold her, bring your head to hers and just lay there. Allow her to feel the warmth of your body and the thump of your heart within your chest. Allow yourselves to drift away together to a far off place and just relax.

You may just decide to take a moment to gently run your fingers through her hair. Perhaps gently run your fingers over her thighs and stomach. This is a time for enjoying each others company though, and the object is not to get some action from her.

Allow a little free time: Our lives can become very chaotic rather quickly can’t they? If you happen to be a married couple with children then I am sure you know this all to well! If your wife happens to be the one who deals with the children most of the time then it can be a very nice surprise for her if you change the role. Take the initiative to arrange the opportunity for her to go and get away. Take the children out of her hair so that she may use a much earned and needed hour or two alone where she could possibly just sit and relax, read, or maybe even take a nice warm and relaxing bath. What she wants to do is her choice, but you need to be the one to create the opportunity.

Go for a quiet walk: I must say that even when you are alone it is very peaceful and relaxing to sometimes go for a walk. This could be a stroll along the beach, a walk through the woods, or walking down the street after a nice snowfall.

This is one of the reasons I love the state I live in so much. The population is pretty small as is, but after a fresh snowfall it is nearly totally dead outside. Going out afterwards and walking around is wonderful cause the snow is covering the trees, it crunches lightly under your feet as you walk, overall it is very enjoyable. It provides a temporary escape from all the worries and troubles of the world.

Do the dishes: Many homes today all have automatic dishwashers, not all of them do though. If your woman happens to be the one who not only cooks but also does the dishes afterwards as well then you could relieve some of the duties from her. If she has to ask you to do the dishes then you have just failed. The trick is to get up somewhat promptly without being asked and do the very thing that she would normally do. This is a very small but possibly very meaningful gesture. It could give her a small moment of time where she can now go relax, or maybe she will join you and dry them as you wash. Either way you have just gained something, either given her an added moment of relaxation, or got an extra moment of time together in a joint activity.

Draw her a bath: There are lots of women out there who enjoy the relaxation that comes from soaking in a nice warm bath. Light some candles and scatter them around the room to cast a gentle illumination and then toss in some bath salts or some bubble bath and allow the tub to fill. (Make sure the aroma’s all compliment each other otherwise it could become a environment that is not very enjoyable very quickly). If she has had a long day at work or even just around the house then she will be very pleased to be able to walk into such a gentle environment.

Dance with her: Not everyone likes to dance, but for those who do… allow yourself to be caught in the moment. It does not matter if there is actually music playing or not, if you feel the sudden urge to sweep your woman into your arms and dance then go ahead and do it! It will have a much bigger effect if it is unexpected then it would be if you actually planned on going to a club or ball.

Write her a note: Sometimes it is wonderful to just leave a simple note somewhere that your woman might not normally look. You could leave it in a dresser drawer so she is surprised when she opens it. You could leave a note on the bathroom mirror if you know she is about to go right in after you have taken a shower. You could arrange the refrigerator magnets to say a special message.

The last time I was visiting my brothers house I noticed that there was a ton of miniature magnets all over the refrigerator. Each magnet has one word, and they we arranged into a poem. I stopped to ask them who had done the poem. They told me that they make it a daily ritual for one of them to leave a note or poem on the refrigerator using the magnets. Sometimes they blindfold one another and then they each pick ten words. Once they pick the ten words they then try and figure out a way for them to describe their feelings or relationship with each other using only those words.

This is a perfect example of what I am talking about. Sometimes little things like this can be a great deal of fun and have very some very deep meaning.

Obviously there are more things that you can do for her. Every woman has different desires, this should help get you thinking in the right direction though.

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
1241 posts
3/15/2005 3:55 pm

I agree lickee... I do not think my wisdom is very high though, I am trying to work on it though...

rm_lickeetung 59F

3/15/2005 12:10 pm

Some additional thoughts......

You offer a great service to mankind with this article........men should read and pay attention! Point being......don't worry if people think one way or the other......share your thoughts and hopefully in the process people can learn a thing or two about romance, thoughtfulness, and simple acts of kindness.

Consider changing the title....or at least the word flattery. To me it is the simplest kindness that can mean so much, I think because it comes from a true place in the heart. Is it really true that men might only do such things if they seek something in return? I think if they don't really feel it in their heart.......they stick to words......which are cheap. Saying something and doing something are very different. A man,I think, tends to talk the talk.........he'll say what he thinks you want to hear, but a man expressing honest feelings will talk the talk AND walk the walk through these thoughtful kind gestures.

Some additional ideas that don't cost a penny: 1) dance with her; at home, in the street, anywhere/anytime......whenever the whim hits you.......embrace her and sweep her off her feet.......it really does get us wet (well, those of us who love to dance anyway!) 2) stroke her hair while you're watching TV together. 3) if you wake up before her.....look at her......adore her in peaceful slumber........if you're lucky.....she'll feel you doing it......wake up feeling adored........and want to make mad passionate love to you!

Now honestly.....how simple is that! .....or is it really a rare and different breed of man that will do such things? I have to think that if the feelings are there......these acts would naturally come. Or have people forgotten to take the time for romance......simplify life.....slow down and enjoy each other's presence?

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
1241 posts
3/15/2005 7:31 am

You think exactly how I was... I was thinking of adding a few of those exact same things you mentioned but figured some people might think them strange.

rm_lickeetung 59F

3/14/2005 8:02 pm

Ummm.......will you marry me??? LOL All kidding aside.....I do like the way you think and feel. You're absolutely right.....such acts of kindness, thoughtfulness and consideration and really don't have to cost a penny......it's the simplest gestures that mean so much.

On buying flowers........how about working together in the garden in the yard and picking the beautiful flowers you've together created to tell her how much you care. .....or better yet.....picking wildflowers from a field or roadside on the way home.....just because you were thinking of her!

Or how about a simple walk hand in hand in nature...a wooded trail, or after fresh fallen snow in the peaceful moonlight, or sitting arm in arm at the ocean sharing thoughts and feelings.....

Or how about a thoughtful poem or handmade card.....or a handwritten letter laced with your scent.

Ahhhh........so simple........and beautiful!

Thanks again for your thought!

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
1241 posts
3/14/2005 4:30 pm

This just a rough draft that is currently something I am working on. It still has a lot of work to be done to it but I am looking for some advice and opinions of different women. I will edit it as I rework it and incorporate new ideas. I imagine I will end up editing it 5 to 10 times over the course of the next few weeks before it is what many others and myself consider a finished work.

If you have information or ideas you would like to give me to add into it then please feel welcome to do so. Don’t be to critical yet, as I said, it is still in the initial process.

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