Being A Gentlemen  

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
3114 posts
3/14/2005 2:02 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Being A Gentlemen

Being A Gentlemen

In today’s times many cultures are mixed, this seems to have resulted in some very good effects and has also resulted in some very negative effects. One of these negative effects has come to the manners in which many men use when in the presence of a woman. It would appear that men have lost sight of why manners are important during their younger and middle years. Not only have they lost sight of these very valuable things but even the ones who do use them often currently only direct them at someone that they are romantically or hoping that they might become romantically involved with. Manners are about respect and not about getting the opportunity to score or get lucky with someone.

We all obviously get raised with some kind of belief system. As we get older we often find a new belief system to follow or end up learning to strengthen the one that we had been raised to believe in. I personally believe in humanity and do not rely on biblical theories; the bible does have a great deal to do with humanity though interestingly enough. Let’s face it, there are certain ways that you do treat people and there are of course certain ways that you do not treat people. Always treat others as you yourself wish to be treated. So let me ask you gentlemen… if you were a woman, how would you desire to be treated? There are some women who are initially bi-sexual and end up becoming totally gay due to the constant mistreatment they receive from men. Obviously this is not the only reason for their choice, but believe it or not… constantly mistreating a woman can change her attitude towards the current man she is with as well as over-time her general attitude towards all men in general. Here is a basic list of things to work on when it comes to the general treatment of women. Remember that your actions towards women not only effect the relationship you are in but could also end up effecting all future relationship’s that both her and you have in the future.

Maintain good table manners: It does not matter if you are within your own home, or out in public, there are certain things that are okay and then there are certain things that are not okay. Sitting at home in private with the family, out in public with the family, perhaps out on a date, at work, or even just hanging out with friends… there are certain ways in which one should behave. I could sit here and say that you should never have your elbows on the table and that you should always place a napkin in your lap. I am however not going to lecture on these particular things because they are a matter of personal taste. I am going to say however that one should not engage in yelling or raising their voice to frequently. Saying, “excuse me” after passing gas is a very big courtesy issue. It is considerably more appropriate to actually leave the table to do these things, but if by accident you do pass gas then you should apologize for it. I know that it is already embarrassing enough to disrupt the meal as is, but it is even more disruptive to not offer an apology after interrupting the meal. Be mindful of your language in general, you are obviously not the only person there and one should make sure that your language would not offend the others. I would not suggest foul language at all even if your party does not mind it, however that is obviously your judgement call and not mine.

Stand when a woman enters or leaves a room: It is always important to acknowledge a woman’s presence when she is around. Coming or going, women deserve your attention at all times.

Kneel to kiss a woman’s hand when meeting: This is something that is not too common in the West and even in the modern world in general. I personally believe that men are to be at the mercy of anything truly beautiful. Let’s face it, women are without a doubt the most sensational and beautiful of all creations. This is not about totally submitting to a woman; it is about initial respect. It takes a moment from whatever situation you are currently in to show a woman that you have noticed her. Let’s face it, most women love to be noticed now don’t they? I shall make a reminder though that I am talking about kissing the back of her hand in a very gentle fashion. Do not become aggressive with this or try to abuse its real meaning.

Carry items for her: This appears to be another thing that is no longer very common in modern society. Perhaps women see it as a control issue, kind of like saying that they are not strong enough to carry something. It should give the message that as a man you do not believe a woman should have to carry “to many” items at once. Try to focus this on certain situations such as, helping with groceries, luggage, shopping bags, etc. If you see a woman carrying more then her arms seem to desire to contain then relieve that burden from her. While offering to carry something for a woman when she has a bag or a book in her hand seems nice, you have to remember that it really isn’t making the same impact as it would if she were to have a stack or books or a handful of bags.

Open the door for her: Back in history it was common for men to have women lead the way due to the possibility of attack or ambush. I find this absolutely horrifying that any man would value his life over that of a woman. Things are no longer as brutal as they once were; obviously there is not a fear of attack or ambush in our day to day lives anymore. Opening the doors for a woman is yet another one of those things that some women today take great offense to because it could once again possibly mean that a man is trying to say the woman is weak. I do not do this because I think women are weak, I just do not think a woman should have to be burdened with such minor things. Try and avoid smart comments when doing this for a woman, just hold the door for her and give a little nod if you feel it appropriate. Saying “after you ma’am” is something that could seem sweet or possibly offensive, try to avoid it unless you know that particular woman well. Saying, “ladies first” is probably yet another phrase that could possibly be offensive to a woman that you do not know. I would stick to a nod or nothing at all until you know your audience.

Pull out the chair for her: Women should again not have to be burdened with such petty things. It shows your loyalty and keeps it in her mind that you know she is present. Never allow a woman to begin to think that you are not thinking of her, we all know where such thoughts can lead. No point in wandering down a path that I am sure many of you men have wandered before, as the old saying goes “flattery will get you everywhere.”

Maintain eye contact: Eye contact is a very important thing! I am sure many people will agree that a person’s eyes can reveal a lot about themselves. Always keep eye contact in general when in a conversation with someone, but especially when you are in a conversation with a woman! This helps them to know you are actually interested and paying attention to them and what they have to say.

Obviously this is not everything that is involved in acting like a gentlemen. It is however, a very good starting point to help you in thinking of other ways in which you should treat a woman. You can now take the short list above and think in similar terms and guidelines to help maintain proper respect for both the woman you are with as well as all women in general.

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
1241 posts
3/16/2005 7:08 pm


Sex and relationships is just common sense. Just because I do not date does not mean I do not know how. Top that off with a large personal sex library and avid studying and you can be a one person army.

I don't sleep around, but thankfully I do have some friends that I am close enough with that they allow me to practice various techniques on.

I got lucky, my sisters best friend is gay and came over to borrow some movies when she hurt her back at work several months ago. She walked in my room and saw my sex books lined in the bookshelves that cover my back bedroom wall. At first she was nervous and blushing, but thankfully I can be a smooth talker sometimes lol.

We are nearly best friends now, I got her into studying female ejaculation and some other useful woman to woman stuff.

rm_lickeetung 59F

3/16/2005 3:54 pm are a wise soul........perhaps an old soul?

NEVER dated?? Are you serious?

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
1241 posts
3/15/2005 6:30 pm

I guess I could be seen as a kiss ass, the only problem is I am a hermit. I do not date and to be honest literally "never" have. I can't be a kiss ass considering I don't actually use the wisdom and knowledge I have proven I have.

rm_lickeetung 59F

3/15/2005 3:25 pm

I think athens740, the party animal who thinks he is mature, was referring to "kiss ass". Don't be offended........after all, he clearly knows not how to be a gentleman, yet had enough brains to read your article!!! Maybe he will learn something.

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
1241 posts
3/15/2005 10:57 am

What is a KA? I have not heard that term before... or maybe I have just not in that way.

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
1241 posts
3/15/2005 7:33 am

Yes it does, I agree. I have mentioned in a few other posts I think that both men and women need to be aware of alcohol useage cause it can result in a flip of the tongue that you don't expect.

rm_lickeetung 59F

3/14/2005 7:33 pm

I can't agree more with your thoughts on this. Far more than physical appearance.....these are some of the things that matter most to me......being well-mannered, well-groomed, and hygienic are high on the list. Good table manners, taking your hat off at a dinner table, opening doors, eye contact....all of what you mention. They are the simplest things......and don't cost a penny....and mean so much! (and say so much about a person!) It really does convey respect, thoughtfulness and consideration to a woman.

I was going to respond to an earlier post of yours re: weekend plans. I had a blind date. We wrote for 3 weeks and he really seemed very sweet and funny. Long story short.....he drank enough to get drunk which totally turned me off and made me uncomfortable. As his alcohol level rose, his sarcasm, foul mouth, and lack of respect came turn-off, and not how I deserve to be treated. I let him know how I was feeling....which just made him defensive and argumentative. I ended the date and let him know there would be no second date. So, consider adding this to your list perhaps? What do you think.....does it belong in a list of being a gentleman? Thanks for your thoughts.

LoyaltyandHonor 37M/32F
1241 posts
3/14/2005 4:30 pm

This just a rough draft that is currently something I am working on. It still has a lot of work to be done to it but I am looking for some advice and opinions of different women. I will edit it as I rework it and incorporate new ideas. I imagine I will end up editing it 5 to 10 times over the course of the next few weeks before it is what many others and myself consider a finished work.

If you have information or ideas you would like to give me to add into it then please feel welcome to do so. Don’t be to critical yet, as I said, it is still in the initial process.

57moreplease45 53F

3/14/2005 3:12 pm

U continue to amaze...

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