THE BOTTOM LINE - REVISITED? Hell I don't remember  

LoveHandles686 69M
42 posts
8/22/2005 7:02 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

THE BOTTOM LINE - REVISITED? Hell I don't remember

If you have read this blog over the Past couple of weeks you will no doubt be familiar with my quest to lose my extra-marital virginity. The one lady who has figured most prominently in that quest sent me a quick note yesterday to see if anything had changed in my life. HERE IS HOW I RESPONDED TO HER:

Some things change and some things stay the same. I hope you will tolerate this long message but cut to the bottom paragraph if you want the only the Bottom Line response.

Today is my one month anniversary on AdultFriendFinder and for the past month I have listed myself as bi-curious. I changed that yesterday. Early yesterday morning I received an e-mail from a fellow from Norfolk asking if I wanted to get together for some oral sex. You may recall from my blog that I talked about my teen age same-sex experiences with my best friend. That's been nearly 40 years and that curiosity has lingered in my mind all these years. Well, yesterday afternoon I followed through (gasp), I actually met with the guy in his apartment. As a virginal teenager the fun and games with my buddy were exciting and they offered the only sexual fulfillment I had ever known (outside of my own hand). As a 56 year old married man the whole encounter left me with the hard, cold certainty that I am curious no more, I know that it's not for me. Suffice it to say, I like women and that's where I'm going to stay.

I have friends (both male and female) who are gay and I can truly understand that lifestyle. They have the same type of attraction to their partners that I have to mine. Hugging, kissing, holding hands, whispering secrets, caressing, it's all part of the package. It's clearly an emotional relationship as well as a physical relationship and that's cool. But a guy on guy thing for the sole purpose of having orgasms is not for me. I want the emotional closeness as well as the physical closeness.

I know that this is certainly more dialogue than you were looking for but I needed to tell someone of my personal discoveries. You can probably tell from the wordy dialogue here that I am writing my next blog entry as we speak. The names will disappear but the rest will show up on my blog later this morning.

Well, one more curiosity down but there are some remaining. I'm 56 (almost 57) and still have had sex with only one woman in my life. It was very special to my wife and I that we were both virgins (well, not on our wedding night, but at least in our relationship). My wife had successfully defended her "virtue" from several contenders while several young ladies I had dated had successfully defended their "virtues" form me. The simple truth is that my wife was a virgin because she really didn't want to have sex with the other boyfriends before me and I was a virgin because my previous girlfriends really didn't want to have sex with me. There's a not so subtle difference here. The truth is that I didn't marry my wife for the sex (it's great, even after nearly 35 years of marriage), I married her because she was the one I wanted (and still want) to spend my life with.

Having just pledged undying loyalty I admit that still want to know what sex with another woman is like. Does it feel better with someone else than it does with my wife? Is it as exciting to hug and kiss another woman as it is to hug and kiss my wife. BIG, unanswered question here. My wife is an "ample" woman, does it feel the same with a "slim/petite"? She is very short, is it the same with a taller woman with long legs? She has very nice breasts, what would it be like with woman with very small breasts, how about big ones? She has brown eyes, what would it be like with a woman with blue eyes? Alright, I've taken this far enough, I think I have at least made out with girls with blue eyes and maybe even a green eyed one and I don't seem to remember a difference there. To be truthful, I don't even remember what color their eyes were.

I get all the sex I can possibly need at home now so it's no longer a thing of depravation. My wife and I had sex last night on the couch in the family room with our 30 year old daughter less than 20 feet away in her "apartment" upstairs. Less than 5 minutes after we untangled ourselves on the couch our daughter came down the stairs as she often does in the evening. That's about as reckless as I can imagine. Color us "wild and crazy", well by our puritanical standards anyhow.

My wife told me last night that she would not stand in the way of me having sex with another woman. As we sat on the bad last night we read through the nearly 50 "offers" she had received on AdultFriendFinder in the past 3 days. Nearly 75% were from guys age 21-72 (yes, 72) right here in Tidewater. There is clearly an inequity here. My mailbox is empty, except for your messages. Let me clarify something right here. I appreciate you! You have bolstered by self-esteem 1000% these last few weeks. (well, getting stood-up at Barnes and Noble's twice didn't help too much but I'm over that ) The bottom line is there are dozens of men who are willing and ready to have sex with a married woman but the number of women who have expressed a willingness to fuck a married man are in short supply. I'll tell you, it's not for lack of effort on my part, I have assailed the e-mailboxes of women in Virginia (and even a few in North Carolina) with my sad tale of marital depravation and my pleas for help in resolving my unanswered questions. When they do reply the most common reason is that they don't want the baggage of a married man, and that response even comes from a lot of married women. I also got my fair share of responses that said they were looking for a younger guy, and that even came from some of the older women.

I guess that our chances were pretty much doomed from the very first aborted meeting attempt. I have told you many times that I do not try to keep secrets from my wife and that has been true for our entire relationship (since marriage anyhow). My wife was hurt when I actually walked out the door for our first rendezvous and I think she was a little bit pissed at you when you left me stilting at that table all by myself. The second attempt pissed her off more, she forgave me my first attempt but the second time was just too much to deal with. The second attempt prompted my wife to establish her own AdultFriendFinder account although my ego tells me it was more to strike back at me than it was to truly explore the possibilities for herself. I think there was more satisfaction for her when I got left sitting at the Barnes & Noble's again. I know that she got a big charge out of the opportunity she had to tell you to "go fuck yourself" on the telephone.

BOTTOM LINE: Am I still curious? As the current popular C&W song by Gretchen what's hername goes "Hell, Yea!". Am I going to go to Barnes and Noble's again to meet you? Nope, that's it for that part of my exploratory attempts. I may get my questions answered one day and then again, I may live with the questions and accompanying insecurities for the rest of my life. I know my wife loves me and I love my wife and that will just have to do.

Become a member to create a blog