Are You...  

LookMeUpForFun2 53F
22 posts
2/23/2006 11:51 am

Last Read:
4/12/2006 11:17 am

Are You...

Are you married, maybe attached, living together with your significant other..... How was it that you came to be unfaithful? Did you feel that great emotion called GUILT? I was to hook up with someone this morning and he was feeling really guilty. So we just left it at that and went our separate ways. I'm not into pressuring someone to do something they are not ready for. I've been there with those feelings of guilt. So I know exactly how he was feeling. My husband and I were separated at the time and I still felt guilty. But the way I see you need to take care of yourself, which ever way that may be.

rm_Gentle12553 68M
1378 posts
2/23/2006 12:23 pm

I guess guilt does enter into the mind and I know it did when I first strayed from home, but as you needs to take care of yourself and that can mean many things. For me it was the need to satisfy the urgings that were not being taken care of at home....Most women will chastise a wantered spouse, figuring it is his fault that he can not control his passions and keep his zipper shut....There are however two sides to every story....for me it was her total lack of concern over a physical relationship....she could have cared less, and then the "other woman" came into my life...her's was a similiar situation to mine and we hit the nail on the head. We spend my blissful hours locked in passion's embrace and we both always went home satisfied. Neither of us could leave for financial reasons so or clandistine affair lasted for years and after awhile those guilty feels were replaced with feeling of pleasure and almost a "I deserve to feel this good." Funny tho, it was always just sex for her and me...there never was any real feeling of "love" between us....we remain friends to this day...both our spouses are gone and every once in awhile we will get together and roll in the sheets for old times sake...still the sex is good.

rm_discrete2975 42M

2/24/2006 5:16 am

I agree with "gentle", the mind and body are all part of the same package yet sometimes they act on their own...Guilt is always going to be a factor on some level unless someone is completely amoral but needs are needs...and it's in our nature as human being to find some way shape or form to fulfill those...

Fletch8491 51M

2/28/2006 8:43 am

Guilt is a natural emotion that everyone feels at some point in time. You have to weigh your needs and wants versus the pain the guilt causes. Speaking from experience, the guilt fades but the wants and needs remain. Satisfying both mind and body through physical interaction is a basic need. I first started playing around because my needs and wants were not being addressed at home ( a common theme from men and women on this site,I'm sure). I no longer deal with the guilt and just enjoy the pleasure that being with a woman who wants to be with you brings. Discretion is of course key to all of this, so anyone who does not respect that wish should not be considered. Anyway, my 2 cents worth for you to ponder.....Good luck in your search and feel free to drop me a line if you'd ever like to chat.

rm_browzing4fun 54M
1 post
3/20/2006 8:31 am

I have found that guilt comes in many flavors. My first time being unfaithful I was very guilty that i had cheated on my wife. I felt like crap. But then I came to realize I was feeling guilty for not minding that i cheated on my wife. I also felt a great deal of buyer's remorse. I really had the hots for this woman, but when it was done I wondered if it was worth it. A lot of fear about getting caught. After now having been with other non-spousal partners, I am coming to learn that I feel guilty about not feeling guilty, and I also feel guilty for what I have done with this new person. I have no interest in anything other than short term sexual gratification (even if done over a long term). I am honest and clear about expectations up front, but there is still guilt afterward. I have been told I "leave" once we are done. That is the paranoia, discretion and guilt all coming together.

I have actually backed out of a potential hookup because I knew how my guilt was going to be and I could tell that she was not prepared for the guilt she was going to get (she was married also). In our situations, we cannot be there for each other through this, so that makes it a little harder. More guilt. I was just surprised that I felt the guilt before we did anything (other than the flirting).

I have to say that I do not feel any guilt (maybe a little) for things that happened long ago. Time heals all wounds I guess, but be sure the emotion you feel is guilt (it wasn't always for me). Good luck and don't be too hard on a guy who feels guilty. Try to find that guilty guy that likes to be hard.

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