Would you keep on going?  

Lipator 58M
54 posts
7/24/2005 6:32 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Would you keep on going?

I had talked with this guy from work, and we realised that we had a mutual love of playing the guitar. I have largely been taught by interacting with people over the years, so I was keen to get together and interact on some songs that we had been discussing. Well we did get together, and started playing, but it soon became clear that he was not really enjoying the experience as much as I was.

I had surposed that he was a lot more comfortable with the whole idea of learning as I was, but that didn't appear to be the case. I always take the view, that regardless of how much you know, others can always teach you a thing or two, and he had talked a lot about a particular style of guitar that I was interested in.

He had asked about a couple of chords that I had played and I had not really thought twice about, but what soon became apparent, was that he had not learned a lot about basic music structure. I didn't see the problem as insurmountable, and proceeded to explain to him that if you have an F chord here then you can turn it into a G chord here. I guess I had done some sight transposing, that had taken me years to learn, but this did not enhance the overal experience for either of us.

Needless to say, we didn't get very far, and when I talked about it with him later he stated that he was giving his guitars away. I was a bit shocked that he would take such a drastic action, especially as he had been talking of getting into music on more or less full time basis.

It does take a certain amount of patience and perseverance to learn a musical instrument. I have been playing for many years and am mostly content with my own inadequacies. I rarely play for people, and enjoy the whole experience within myself. I cannot for the life of me, know what would make a person want to give up, that which has already taken a fair amount effort to achieve.

How would feel about doing such a thing, for yourself or another, it has me curious?

rm_connor696 62M
834 posts
7/24/2005 8:33 pm

Well, I've been a semiprofessional musician for about twenty years. Sometimes I take a break from it, out of distraction, frustration, or lack of a good situation. Practicing takes a lot of time and energy, and sometimes life makes other demands. And then sometimes you just need to walk away. Just today Lance Armstrong rode his last Tour de France. I imagine he'll continue to ride, but still, that's a major walking-away-from-something deal.

rm_mieze626 54F
145 posts
7/24/2005 8:41 pm

i think his love in making music is not as deep than for u...maybe he just need a break and will be back later. don't force him, if he was that much into it, he'll be back...

3 posts
7/24/2005 9:04 pm

I'm a photographer at a university and had a similar situation. I don't get many students wanting to work there which seems odd as they can get exp and work with a lot of fine equipment.
One day a woman came in with some pictures which were quite good.
She said she'd like to work there and wanted to learn to shoot sports.
I told her it was something she had to practice but I could give her some hints etc. It so happened there was a basketball game that week and I said why not come. This was awhile ago before we had started with digital so I gave her some film and with a few words of advice left her while I moved around the court. Later I found her rejected and complaining she wasn't getting any good shots, the people moved too fast etc. I told her not to be so hard on herself and to keep trying. I gave her more advice and told her not to try to do too much. When her film was processed It was about what I expected. no worse then I expected. I told her it was a good start. She was quite rejected and said she'd think about working next year and left.
Never saw her again either. I still wonder about it. neil

DougSensual 49M
59 posts
7/24/2005 9:23 pm

I still play my trombone on occation for a hobby. I never really learned to read chords either so I have a hekuva' time with improvisations or solos. Unfortunately, you may have ruffled his feathers or bruised his ego, despite your good intentions.

redmustang91 58M  
8949 posts
7/24/2005 10:33 pm

There was a simpson episode where Homer says to Bart: Yeah that is just like me, if anything requires effort and patience and you cannot be good at it immediately then just quit, that is what I do! So politically incorrect for a parent to say to a son. Sometimes giving up on a skill is reasonable if one has no special talent and drive, as the competition is too overwhelming. Trying to be a professional actor, for example. Only those who are really determined should keep pushing if the goal is professional success. If one just enjoys and wants to have fun, ok.

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