Back again...with a LONG update.  

Layodet 38M
8 posts
8/14/2006 2:56 pm
Back again...with a LONG update.

Trust me, I had a good reason for discontinuing my blog. Unfortunately for you, but probably best for me, this is a sexual journal so you won't get to hear most of it. Now, the lengthy update:

I had sex, many times, with a lovely thing I will call Bella. Mostly Sioux Native American in decent, she is absolutely gorgeous with dark skin and hair as curly as mine. She is a skinny girl with small breasts and lovely dark nipples. Sex with her was fairly good as she always seemed to get very into it. However, she lacked diversity in sex and was mainly interested in penetration. Unfortunately, she moved off to California...but no worries, I will be in contact with her for some time I think.

That was February an March, so what else happened? Well my sex life hit a sort of lull. My good benefit buddy Jamie got girly on me and decided she wanted to stop messing around. And of course, I continued my streak of bad luck with guys. The story remained that way all the way until July, when someone came back into my life.

Without making it all wishy washy, let's just say that it was someone I very much cared about in my past who decided I was her soul mate. Three cheers for me! Things progressed at a nice, slow pace with some very intimate make out sessions that, at my own request, never became sexual. Often in the adult world we miss out on the beauty of a powerful, passionate kiss when we have sexual things on our mind. But, after taking a two week vacation alone with her, that barrier did not hold up long. As of yet, we have not had sexm, but every other basic area has been traversed. Now, let me explain, that her X-boyfriend was a dooshbag. He treated her badly and had severe insecurity issues the eventually cost him this lovely girl. But, the luck punk got to lose his virginity to this beauty. I thought, I was in good. I mean come on, X was a virgin and a doosher, I was going to seem like a rock star sexually to her. I have way more experience sexually than she does, it just seemed logical. But as I slid off her panties, looked at her lovely warm box, and went to my oral business...I found out something different. I could not get her off orally, not for lack of skill mind you, she just isn't clitoral at all. To compound matters, her orgasm "spot" is about 6 to 7 inches inside her, very hard to reach without intercourse. I have given her orgasms she claims, but she refers to them in two types. One a slow and calm one, and the other more sudden and powerful. Both I have difficulty getting her to. To maginify that further, she has NO difficulty getting me off in the list. Her oral skills are exemplary and she is marvelous with her hands. Both things I am not used to for a girl just started out with me. Patience and understanding are going to be key here, I will update as I go along.

Well good for me at least I have a serious girl now. But, it forced me into a decision. Do I continue pursuing men and if I I tell her? She knows I have been with men in my past but I sense that she would not find the situation of having a boyfriend who messes around with other men too extreme. So, should I do it secretly? I know most would say no, but mentally I percieve things differently than most. Honestly, sex with men is more a masturbatory act than a truly sexual one. First of all, in my idea situation I get NO pleasure at all. Those of you who have read my profile can get the sense of that. Second, I have no emotional connection at all. No kissing, no cuddling, nothing. A long time ago, when the guy thing all began, I asked myself a similar question. Only that question was whether or not to tell my family, specifically my mother. My mom is very open minded and would have no problem with it, but it still seemed odd to me. So I asked myself, would I tell my mother about masturbation or other sexual preferences such as favorite positions? Of course not, that is my personal life. So, I used the same analog. Would I tell this girl, we will call her Ashley, about masturbation activities. Problem not, because I don't think of it in my mind as cheating...nor do I think of it as cheating when I am with a guy. As long as I am safe and don't put her in any danger, then fine. So, decision made.

What happened next had several factors leading into it. First, I had been on vacation with someone for several weeks. Which means I was not masturbating and thus, building up a great deal of arousal. Another thing, my confidence was up now that I had found such a wonderful girl. I felt safe in a lot of ways I suppose. Whatever the reason, I did something very uncharacteristic of me, I chatted with a guy online, then had him come over so I can suck him off.

First, let me explain. I met him online in a chat room. He was very cool, very masculine in how he used words and extremely arousing in how he talked. He is a young guy, 22, and very attractive. Six feet tall, 160lbs, same body type as me really. Also, he is only into recieving pleasure...perfect given how I feel about that. I was just horny enough and crazy enough, I invited him over for fun. He said he didn't have much time and I told him I was fine with that and that I liked to be used. 15 minute later, he was here. To my amazement, and arousal, he walked in...said hi...and dropped his pants. He was not erect, which I don't know if anyone else finds that hot but I do. So I put him in my mouth and started off slow. He started talking a little dirty, but it sounded ok and I didn't mind. He told me to suck it, and to put my mouth around his cock. Then came another surprise, he told me he was going to cum. Now honestly I didn't think he meant right then, I thought he meant i was doing the right things to bring him there eventually. So I kept going slow and didn't think much of it. Then I felt a strong squirt nail the back of my mouth. I honestly almost choked. He was actually cumming! He had not been in my mouth for longer than a minute and he had blown his load. Premature ejaculater perhaps? No matter, it was freagin hot to me. Then, again to my surprise, he pulled up his pants...smiled and left. He was in my apartment for no longer than 5 minutes. Wow, what a feeling of being used. And damn did it feel great. I finally get the feeling that I want more. But I don't know how to proceed now.

I liked that he came so quickly, but how do i prolong it for him? I really barely touched him when he came, so it isn't like I have a slower setting. Please feel free to make suggestions. Well, that is enough for today. Sorry this one is poorly written, I have so much to dump out.


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