SHIVER ME TIMBERS!!!!!!!!!!! (pirate joke)  

Ladyblue85 59F
117 posts
1/2/2006 8:39 pm

Last Read:
3/11/2006 11:32 pm

SHIVER ME TIMBERS!!!!!!!!!!! (pirate joke)

(blame a friend for this one)

~~A pirate walks into a bar after being at sea for 6 months. The bartender looks at him with a peg leg, hook hand and patch on his eye.
"Oh my god, Bart, what happened to you??"
"Oh, well, u know, we were attacking a ship and I got hit in my leg with a cannonball... they had to cut it off, got me a fine wooden leg now. It's all good."
The bartender looks him up and down, "But what about ur hand??"
Bart hobbles to the bar and hoists himself onto the stool. "Well, a month after I lost my leg, we were looting a fine English vessel. I was swinging onto the deck and had to grab the railing before I fell -- a damned Limey Officer got me with a sword. But, I got me this fine hook for a hand.... all is good."
The bartender slides him a frothy mug. "But.... what about ur eye?? Another battle, hey?"
Bart shakes his head, "Nah.... twas a nice sunny day, no battles that day. We were on deck enjoying the sun when seagulls flew over, I looked up and one shit in my eye."
The bartender shakes his head, "You cant loose an eye from bird shit..."
Bart winks at him, "Aye, but it was the first day with me new hook......"

ticktock500 45M

1/2/2006 8:57 pm


aussieboy91 53M  
47 posts
1/2/2006 9:42 pm

nice joke ladyblue

CopesPolerLeges 59M
10 posts
2/1/2006 3:49 pm

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead takes her finger, pushes her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony.
She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead are you? "Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."

best i could do lady blue not as good as you but funny too.

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