Pick up lines: Innuendos  

Ladyblue85 59F
117 posts
3/11/2006 6:44 pm
Pick up lines: Innuendos


Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand. 5 1

A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"

Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me! 0 0

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

Can I flirt with you tonight?

Can I please be your slave tonight?

Can I see your tan lines?

Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?

Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.

Do you spit or swallow?

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?

Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.

Have you ever played leap frog naked ??

Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.

Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'

Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

Hi. Are you legal?

Hi. You'll do.

How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?


I wanna floss with your pubic hair.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

I wonder what our children will look like.

I would kill or die to make love with you.

I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

I'd look good on you.

I'm an organ donor, need anything?

I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?

If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?

Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Lie down. I think I love you.

Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."

Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?

Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?

Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.

That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.

That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?

Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?

Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?

Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?

Will you marry me for just one night?

Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

Would you please come home with me and tie me up...

You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls. \

You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.

You smell wet. Let's Party.

Hey baby...mind if I take my pants off?
--- ---
I love you, you know.
--- ---
Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?
If I let you suck on my tongue would you be grateful?

Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try? -

Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.

I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.

Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit. -

Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

I've been a bad boy/ girl,so spank me!

Say Baby do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?

I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits

There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.

How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?

Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!

Do you live on a chicken farm (girl says no) well you sure know how to raise cocks

Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

Do you wanna box? [Yes.] Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head. ---

Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?

Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.

I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.

Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?

So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?

I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion? ---

Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.

Are you cold? Let me be your electric blacket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.

Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?

You know what they say about guys with big hands. [What] Big latex.

How can I love you if you won't lay down?

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.

Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?

Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.

Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.

Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.

Hello, I may have just met you but I feel like I have known you all my life and I love you, what hotel room should I reserve?

Roses are Red; Apples are Sour; I'll Spread my legs; And you can show me your "power"

I'm sterile

Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down. --- 0

What is long and hard, and right behind you? ---

You remind me of a Twinky: Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth." Ouch.

I'll bet you $10 my dick can't fit into your mouth.

I'm like Domino's Pizza: if you don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free. ---

Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind? -

Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life. \

If you woke up in the woods with a condom in your ass would you tell anybody? Wanna go camping? ---
What time do you get off? Can I watch? --- 0

Hi. I just need you to know that you can't get pregnant from anal sex.

I'd love you like a snowstorm: I'd give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn't be able to leave the house for 3 days. --- 0

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