Ladyblue802 59F
126 posts
8/22/2006 12:17 am

Last Read:
8/22/2006 12:18 am


Lordy, after all the stress I been thru today (see previous blog entry), all i wanted to do was jsut get to bed before midnight for once and sleep. Ended up working on the previous blog till after 1 a.m. Headed to bed just after 1:30 -- that lasted all of 5 mins. Just having my heart broken made me start crying. Then my 40# puppy, Tater, jumped up on the bed, upset I was making moise and starts to bark at me -- right in my ear! I tried to ignore him till he tried to bite my hands covering my face. Lost my temper and jumped outta bed. Then i felt bad cuz he looked hurt.... he was trying to comfort me and i pushed him away. Just what a man does! lol

Now it's going on 3 a.m...... literally just watching tv till i pass out. Can't stop thinking about the hurtful comments my guy made to me earlier. Felt i had to say something so send him an IM he should see in the a.m., "You sure make me cry alot for someone who says he cares. You frigging piehole. "

When i called him a piehole last week, he got upset -- told him I said it with love! lol I guess it's just one of my terms of endearment. You dont want to know what u will be called when I am really pissed off.

One of his comments to me (see previous blog AGAIN!) during our IM exchange was "You can't afford to have that puppy."

This shocked me since he knows this puppy is pretty much what has kept me alive over the past few months with everything i have been going thru. I have been waiting over 4 years for this dog.... not just a rare breed showdog, but from the two top international kennels in the world. And pick of the litter, promised to me for years.

Who's business is it?? I paid for this little sucker over time, still owe just a little on him because the breeder has become a good friend over the years and knows what I have been thru. Feeding him is not expensive. I am not asking for money from anyone to care for him, pay my bills or the fucking atty. i need.

PLUS my guy has been absolutely head over heels about "his son". He always tells me what a good job Ive done raising him, how thrilled he is to be able to be involved in watching him grow. And the puppy knows him as "daddy". Whenever he is on his way over, I tell the puppy, "daddy's coming!" And he waits patiently by the door. The boys then proceed to romp and chase each other, I get my kiss when things settle down. Again, is this comment about me not being able to afford him just another attempt to push ME away??

I wish for once in my life I could find someone normal. No game players, no bullshit artists.... jsut a man who is man enough to say he wants a relationship and has the balls to work at it.

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