love's story (continued)  

MsLoveRose 34F  
2019 posts
1/27/2006 10:50 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

love's story (continued)

My reply:

Last night I had a dream
You were walking along the shoreline
Hands in your pockets
Eyes watching the skies….
There was a beach fire
Well made I must say
Nice big rocks
Carefully placed twigs
It was a fire
That was meant to last
At least until sunrise
The moon drives the water
To jump a little higher on the sand
Glowing in the night
It makes the breeze whisper

Of all the things in the night to dream it was you that dominated my dream cycle. Thank you! You have shown me that it is ok to be me. You have instilled a confident streak that can not be broken. Thank you.

Sunrise


Day 52

To: sunrise

You are incredible!

It has been a long time since I danced words with another.
You are sooo much fun, you are the one that I have been searching for. There are men who would be challenged by you because you are positive, you are confident, and you are very intelligent.
I can only hope the dance will continue, and someday soon we can share another kiss like the one you gave me. You know I can still feel it. I can still smell you. I feel you when I am alone at night. You have me under your spell. Moonstruck and loving each and every moment.
Thanks again,

HIM


My reply:

You always know just exactly what to say to make me feel good. thank you so very much.

Sunrise


Days 52-53 we spent together. The evening of day 62 we went to dinner and then to the spot where we first went. It was a beautiful night. Full of laughter, full of adventure, we explored ourselves with each other. Deliciously we penetrated each others soul under the stars. Welcoming the new day, we had crossed the point of no return. Amazing, you wait and wait and wish on stars only to have the impossible presented to you in the most surprising way.

Day 54

To: sunrise
My mind is...
within.
Thriving to sample you. Your mind touched a piece of me that has not stirred for so long.
I am sorry that I did not call you this morning. I am extremely busy trying to complete my final evaluations for a class that I am working with.
Let your mind float and realize I am there holding your hand. Where you go with it, I will never mind.

~HIM


Day 55 and 56

TO: sunrise

...deep in the midnight sky.
Last night, I looked up upon the moon and imagined you casting your light upon my body high in the sky.
More to come….

Meet me at 10pm. I will be waiting for you.
~HIM


He was waiting. I got lost in a trail of candle light gently flickering with the soft breeze. He opened up and showed me more of his world. Back at his place he did a self portrait. It was amazing. It was a double exposure of him before and after he met me. It was labeled “stranger.” he brought me there to escape the burdens of my life. He brought me there to make a plea to my heart. *Angel, by Sarah McLachlan playing in the background, the look in his eyes was beyond my reach. A heavy sigh escaped and worry replaced bliss on my face. He told me he was offered a better position farther away and wanted to make sure I would approve of his decision. He wanted my support. He wanted me there, on his new journey, on his new adventure. He wanted me to be a part of his new world. He knew he couldn’t ask me for that. He knew that his selfish heart wanted everything. Tears in his eyes, fear in his heart, I held him close and told him that time, only time is capable of understanding how great love is. With that being said the magnetic energy claimed us again that night. He held me tight while he slept in peace. “In the arms of an angel,” he said to me and drifted off to sleep. The morning rise was fast approaching and his grip wasn’t letting up in the slightest bit. Blinking into the morning light with a smile across my face and a beautiful soul hovering over me saying, “Good morning Sunrise.” his voice confident and will stronger than the night before. His worries were gone, fear no more. I think he needed the closeness of me more than anything. He had 20 days to his departure. Each one of those 20 days I got to spend with him. Whether it was an hour or two or the entire day.

The day he was leaving we shared a 10 minute phone call then an exchange of emails.

To: sunrise

Thorns hide, but the scent is still true. A rose is a rose... but what of the caretaker, the sun, the rain, and the soil that feeds her thorned beauty. As gentle she may be to the balance of those that give her life, she is the rose that giveth life to all who cast their eye upon her. Aware and unaware of the touch that has overcome and the subtle silence only this beauty will never see. The thing in which we seek lies in the piercing of the thorn.

Still my heart and hold your hand upon my cheek let me feel your soul though your gentle kiss. This love that I hold dear and near to my heart will be with me all of my days. You have shown me more in these last few months than I have ever imagined, than I have ever seen. You made me feel alive, you accepted me for me, you loved me. And I didn’t even have to ask. The day will come when I hold you in my arms again. Sweet kisses and lots of love from me to you.

~HIM


My reply:

I wrote this in my journal afraid to show this to you. I wrote it the day we met, when I was able to look you in the eye…..

The piercing rays of the sun warms the seed of the lonely, desolate rose.
The rain provides nurture…supplies tears….and contribute to the structure of the rose
The soil…though plain on the surface and enriched beneath the clouds of misjudgment, ensures stability, purpose, function!

That function is to show that some of the most beautiful can grow in an unusual spot.
When the mark of beauty reaches your heart, your passive understanding to life is full of colors….for the first time you no longer see in black and white…shades of grey….Colorful no longer hides in dreams….The mark of passion completes the yearning in the soul.

Take a risk and grab the rose fore not all thorns are made to prick….what is seen by the eye may not always be what the heart feels. A defense mechanism to protect the fragile stem. Instead of a piercing, prickling, irritation, You get a glimpse of the warmth the rose has inside, you get feel the call. You feel the plea. You feel the yearning. In awe of the these new feelings you look at the rose as if its impossible…unfeasible…Curiosity allows you to look deeper and embrace the sweet fragrance inside. Reassuring and confirming that the daunting thorns could do no harm. The smile on your face reflects the contentment in your heart when remembering that a rose by any other name is still a rose!

Sweaty palms rubs my thighs as my heart beats outside my body. Clouding every irrational thought calming the fears of invisibility. Invisibility? If I reach my hand out and there is no warmth to feel, no vessel to embrace, a shattered heart will remain and I will awaken from this dream that I am comforting such lonely eyes. Doubt, fear, qualm about whether I should or should not take a step, take a risk…..take a chance….
Insurance comes to mind as to why I am here in the first place. To dance, To free a mind, deliver a heart, penetrate a soul. I step outside my mind and let my heart guide me through my soul and reach up. A face so warm, so alone, so misused. I dare not look into your eyes fore I will forever fall….I am not ready for that dance. This rose has petals that takes inside the feel, the shape, the liking of skin. A warm body whose energy is almost equivalent to the nurturing sunlight. Fingertips as soft as the petals themselves trace an outline, to detail your face to know yourself, to search for a response. Just as I catch a glimpse of those eyes I find myself closer, wrapped in the heat and suddenly I cant feel my feet. Climbing the sky, the pungent aroma of passion mixed with fear and disbelief fills the air as my lungs pulls in the scent of a lonely heart. No longer trapped in an unfamiliar world, relieved that its not too late, finally understood. I am close enough to plant a kiss but cannot decide…giving up the mind to the heart I grab the top of your neck just as I place my thumb right before your ear. I lean forward and with the last ounce of fear I kiss…I kiss sorrow away, I kiss neglect away, I kiss lonely away just at the corner of your lips. I am sure of myself again, my confidence in my ability to provide the smallest form of comfort has crept back into my mind and to my surprise I am still here, awake, not in a dream full of colors….my colors are ever present and a rose by any other name is still a rose!

Thank you so very much, there is a smile and a growing warmth where empty once resided…gaze into my eyes and take my breath away. Bestow my soul with reassurance of reality. Shake the dream realm and guide my soul back into the light, unafraid and ready to grow in total enthusiasm. Take this rose and see that the thorns are harmless, that a prick might plant a memory, it might reveal a course of action, it might show you just how to grab and nurture the rose.

Hope your day is growing to be a beautiful one. Have a great night and be on the look out for the full moon tomorrow….if you look hard you will see what I see…you have gained an understanding of who I am. your trip will be a great one. thank you so very much for everything! In the still of the night with the moon glowing, guiding, I will wait for the day when I can hold you in my arms and feel safe. You are in my thoughts. Thank you for showing me a whole new world.

Sunrise


He delayed his trip for 2 days because he had to see me for one last time. It was more than fulfilling. There was a moment when I felt like I belonged. I felt like nothing else mattered but being right there in that moment. 3 full moons passed before I had the pleasure of seeing him again. All that I thought was put to sleep, the feelings, the emotions that I felt with him, they were not gone, they were here. They never left. It was good to see him. My how I have grown. He stayed here for 2 days then he had to return to his new life. He took a piece of me with him. I will visit him sometime soon. Only time is capable of understanding how great love is. I have learned to make the most and enjoy everything that I have been given. What an amazing feeling to know that you made a difference in someone’s life.

I have just shared with you a little piece of the sunrise journey, thank you for listening to my experience.

© LS 2006



live more, laugh often, love much


ilsgicemru 73M
2822 posts
1/28/2006 7:28 am

What a beautiful love story Sunrise !!! ...... Both you and he write so beautifully !! ..... I didn't think that I had time to read all of the story at one sitting . but when I started reading it . I didn't have the time 'not to read it all' !!!

Thanks so much for sharing that piece of your journey with us !!


MsLoveRose 34F  
2432 posts
1/29/2006 12:32 am

G thank you so very much!!!

tay...it appears that the magic is everywhere...im just more receptive sometimes...

live more, laugh often, love much


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