Fathers, Be Good To Your Daughters...  

rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1259 posts
11/20/2005 4:29 pm
Fathers, Be Good To Your Daughters...

This song always makes me smile. And sometimes brings a tear. Here's why...

My father and mother split when I was 5. I don't have a big family to begin with... I have a one younger sister, no close cousins. So the sudden loss of 25% of my family was devastating. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had just started afternoon kindergarten and my father was noticeably absent on my first day of school. I asked my mother where my father was, because he had said he would wave to me on the bus. I remember clearly she said, as she mustered a forced smiled to disguise welled-up eyes, "He's busy at work honey, he couldnt come home, but he says to have fun at school."

Five-year-olds are smarter than you think.

I knew the truth. My mother was a miserable, miserable woman, and father had finally had enough. He met someone else. And left me behind.

Or so I thought for 15 years. Until when I was at college when my father finally tracked me down, and he had a chance to tell his side of the story... The gifts he sent every Christmas (all re-tagged "From Santa" ), birthday cards and pictures and letters... my mother never passed any of these things on. Always complained that he never sent the support, bad-mouthed him and called him a liar and a cheat. The mere mention of his name drew her temper, and we learned quickly that he was a forbidden subject. We never saw him again.

It was easier for her to make me think that he had vanished, to make him out to be the bad guy...that he didn't love us and had abandoned us. That she was the good one, that we were lucky enough just to still have her even. It was easier for her to play the hero than to be fair. Those years of bearing that burden... of taking care of not only my mother, but a younger sister, have shaped me into the person I am today. For better or worse.

I am resilient, strong and independent... I am sensitive, go out of my way for people, take care of people (for a living now), and am appreciative of anyone's attention and care. I am lucky enough to have had enough sense to take time the past three years since my divorce to work through my issues. But I can still see to this day, 25 years later, that I still bear the scars from those years, of that loss of a childhood past mourned. It takes a huge effort for me to open my heart to anyone, because I'm still always thinking in the back of my mind... it's possible this person may one day up and leave, so be prepared. Don't be caught off guard yet again.

So when I see men who are doing the right thing, I have to stop and take a second to appreciate them, to have them remember the importance of what they do. The importance of who they are to their children, their own daughters. You are their world. Certainly doing the right thing isn't the same as doing the easy thing. Dealing with the ex, listening to their petty arguments, playing backseat referee in the car on the way home... baths and clothes, sniffly noses, homework and making dinner... not easy. But I've noticed that anything worthwhile rarely comes easily, and that certainly applies here.

So when you take them to the movies, when you take them to the beach, when you're there to pick them up when you say you will be... you are shaping, little by little, not only their belief in you, but their ability to trust in people overall. So keep keeping those promises and keep being on time. They'll thank you for it later. And you'll thank yourself too.



I know a girl,
she puts the color inside of my world.
But she's just like a maze,
where all the walls all continually change.
I've done all I can,
to stand on her steps with my heart in my hands.
Now I'm starting to see,
maybe it's got nothing to do with me.

Fathers, be good to your daughters.
Daughters will love like you do.
Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers.
So mothers, be good to your daughters, too.

You see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in,
since the day she saw him walking away.
Now she's left,
cleaning up the mess he made.

Fathers, be good to your daughters.
Daughters will love like you do.
Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers.
So mothers, be good to your daughters, too.

Boys you can break,
You'll find out how much they can take.
Boys will be strong.
Boys soldier on.
But boys would be gone
without warmth from a woman's good, good heart.

On behalf of every man,
looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world.

Fathers, be good to your daughters.
Daughters will love like you do.
Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers.
So mothers, be good to your daughters, too.

-John Mayer

bulging_boy 50M

11/20/2005 5:26 pm

I really hope you find the person who restores your faith Blonde,

It seems to me you deserve that!


pASSionwantd2 51M
1316 posts
11/20/2005 5:41 pm

''Great Song'',''Great Post''...Thank's, Very Nice !

digdug41 50M

11/20/2005 5:51 pm

LIblonde that is soooo touching. I am a father and my youngest is my princess, she's 8 gong on 30, sharp as a whip.I couldn't imagine not being in her life or my boys either they are my world right now and can drive me absolutely batshit but I would'nt trade for any material gain this world has to offer. I hope other dads read this too and remember to be grateful for their kids whether they are with the wife or not. its a joy watching them all grow, I have two boys also.
I thought for a while that my daughter would need her brother to protect her but she sure prooved me wrong I gotta pull her off of
them so I know I dont have to worry about her protecting herself.

your right nothing worth having is ever easy and I try to stay in tune with there needs by simply listening to them through all of the stuff they talk to me about, so when something does come up they know to come to me because no one will love them like I do and that I truly do thank you for such a beautiful post and a happy holiday season to you and yours

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

bigcocktightpusy 43M/40F
1 post
11/20/2005 10:57 pm

I thought this was beautiful and how true it is. We need to see things like this to remind us what it should be like. I have a great husband who is a wonderful father. He loves his daughters more than anything and I am so grateful for that. I wish I had a father like him and would not want anything less for my girls. Thanks so much for this

bardicman 51M

11/21/2005 3:52 am

I always try to be good to my daughters..
But one of them is becoming a teen ager....
She is not always good to me.. ROFL

I am not dead yet

rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
11/21/2005 12:47 pm

Bulge... Yes, I hope so too.



rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
11/21/2005 12:51 pm

Awww wetty... thanks. And I agree fully..

Although right now I'd do anything to be a little girl with a Sugar Daddy in my life... I'm so poor lately!


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
11/21/2005 12:54 pm

Digdug... You're one of the dads this one went out to...

I pity your poor sons... their sister must absolutely beat them! LOL

I hope you get to spend some great time with them this season... happy holidays to you as well.


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
11/21/2005 12:56 pm

Passion and Whoknew-- Thanks for stopping by! Glad you enjoyed my gutwrenching post...


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
11/21/2005 1:03 pm

BCTP- I'm so happy for you! You're a lucky lucky girl


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
11/21/2005 1:06 pm


*Sigh*... now "Love Song For No One" is a whole separate post entirely ... one mentally written many many times

Searching all my days to find you
Not sure what I'm looking for
I'll know when
When I see you...

I'm tired of being alone,
so hurry up and get here.
So tired of being alone,
so hurry up and get here...

BTW Sil.. the jury is in and the verdict is your new pic is foxy foxy foxy!



rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
11/21/2005 1:08 pm

Trav... you know that was for you. I'm happy it had its intended effect.

Hugs and love-


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
11/21/2005 1:11 pm

Bard... surely you're not old enough to have a teenage daughter...


lovetoeatemtoo 50M
1 post
11/22/2005 1:51 pm

wow this brought a tear to my eyes. I have 2 daughters and they really mean the world to me as does my son. I can only hope when I finally leave my wife will at least have the good sense not to destroy their lives like she did mine.

Good luck and I hope you find someone who brings you lifelong happiness.

kyplowboy22 62M

11/29/2005 5:48 am

You hit the mark with this piece, sweetie. Hope you find the one will bring happiness to you and yours, sounds like you deserve it. Later


carebearluv2 43F

12/7/2005 6:51 pm

Blonde..this was my first visit to your blog and I just wanted to take the time to compliment you on this post. I am also a child of divorce and have very similar feelings but I was lucky enough to not be kept from my father. He chooses not to be a good father but I have a wonderful mother. Thank you for sharing your feelings as there are those out there (like myself) that share your feelings and situation.

ToMuchTime61 57M

5/1/2006 9:18 am

I don't often reply to what I read here on Blog's but you touched my heart here. I have two little girls that went through hell in my devorce. Through the two years of getting devorced they seen a therapist. I beleave it hepled them a lot. There mother had and has so much hat for me that she got the children to hat me as well. she would tell them lies about what a drunk your dad is and he's stoned all the time. your dad just want's to be with you so he don't have to pay as much childed suport. It went on and on. I can understand why a guy would give up and walk a way from everything. Just to hat to deal with. But I hung in there and things are better now. No the EX still has a lot of hat but the girls now better now. It was worth the fifty thousand dollers I spent on the devorce so be there for my girls. We go fishing and camping and other stuff they like doing. My girls love me a lot. They enjoy the time with there dad.
Hang in there dad's.
Devorce can be very ulgy and insane, but hang in there. The love of your children is worth it.

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