CAUTION: TIGHTLY WOUND  

rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1259 posts
6/8/2006 4:07 pm
CAUTION: TIGHTLY WOUND

#%&*Q( #Q&#(% *&Q#(% *&Q(#&% (*Q#$ !!!!!

17 days!!!!

&(#)%&# Q&($&*R%Q*# %&*(Q(*Q#& &Q#)Q#(*!!!!!!!

Goddamn it!!!!!!!!

I am NOT going to make it, people.

You know that I am pretty private person; Bulge and I don't generally discuss our sex life publicly- we're not accomplished erotica authors, we don't kiss and tell, and if anything is shared it is usually because something went terribly awry and it was funny.

But I have to vent.

I am so incredibly sexually frustrated I could cry.

I have never been this bad off ever!

It's past the point of being annoying; now it's comical bordering on dangerous.

I have to be careful that I don't:

A. Crash my car into a tree because I'm so distracted.

B. Ignite my down comforter with my dreams.

C. Melt the microphone I use to Skype him every night.

I am even afraid at work; I am in constant contact with open oxygen tanks!

One spark.... and it's all over.

(Literally!)

This happened last time too. The closer I get to being back there with him, the anticipation I feel takes over my conscious mind and body to the point where I can't function. However, this is the worst it's ever been.

And yes, I've tried the self-help route. However, there is *no* substitute for the real thing. Trust me . Even the best Robo-rabbit Super Vibe 5000 would do no justice.

Here's a confession for all you perves and all the girls that were always secretly wondering:

Bulge is a *Top Rate* shag.

And when I say top rate, I mean fucking fantastic. Best I've ever had.

( "Well duh", you say "We knew that. Girls don't just up and move half way around the earth for nothing" )

Well, yeah. But the fact that we have that element on top of an awesome friendship and intensely committed romantic relationship is really the icing on the cake.

OK it's the icing and the sprinkles and the ribbon decorations. In all different colors.

But #*@&#%(*&%^)(Q#&%Q()#* !!!!

I'm dying here!

I have my board exam on Wednesday and I cannot stop thinking about him and all the things.... (I just totally lost my train of tought)

*Smack!*

See what I mean!

I can't even look at the ice cubes in my drink without getting flushed.

What am I going to do?

*Sob*

It's useless.

A


rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
6/8/2006 4:27 pm

Oh that oily kiwi lovin must be some POWERFUL stuff boy!!!!!


bulging_boy 50M

6/8/2006 4:35 pm

Thanks sweetie.

I'll slip you that twenty when you get here.

Umm.. dollars I meant.

but... ooooh... perhaps we could do some kind of trade?


rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
6/8/2006 5:13 pm

"I can't even look at the ice cubes in my drink without getting flushed."

Um....flushed. Stay away from the toilet. Remember what happened to the webcam.

Oooo...I wonder if he wears his party hat in the bedroom too.


Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


Seriously_Real 49M

6/8/2006 5:28 pm

This is my third stab at a comment, because the first two sucked so badly that I had to scratch them.

Sucked? Scratched? Holy fucking hell, can I possibly say ANYTHING that isn't a double-entendre? I need to stop right here before you go off on me. FUCK! Did it again.

Sorry. Pretend I didn't say anything.

--Seriously


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
6/8/2006 7:52 pm

Yeah but think of it this way...
In about 18 days, you'll need a wheelchair

(I'd loan you mine but, oh never mind)

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


chasingfun27 39M
1108 posts
6/8/2006 11:32 pm

"Bulge is a *Top Rate* shag."

I'm glad things are great between you guys but this is the definition of TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Good luck with the wait.(Pack a jumper!)


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/9/2006 8:33 am

    Quoting rm_saintlianna:
    Oh that oily kiwi lovin must be some POWERFUL stuff boy!!!!!
Hell yeah, Saint... I'm an addict!

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/9/2006 8:36 am

    Quoting bulging_boy:
    Thanks sweetie.

    I'll slip you that twenty when you get here.

    Umm.. dollars I meant.

    but... ooooh... perhaps we could do some kind of trade?
Mmmmmm works for me.

How about you keep the twenty and I get the pants you're wearing when I see you instead?

A twenty was *not* what I wanted you to slip me anyway.

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/9/2006 8:42 am

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    "I can't even look at the ice cubes in my drink without getting flushed."

    Um....flushed. Stay away from the toilet. Remember what happened to the webcam.

    Oooo...I wonder if he wears his party hat in the bedroom too.
Daph hehehehe how come between us, not too many posts ever go by without the word "flush" being used...? I keep my webcam away from the bath at all times now. I just sent Bulge a matching one because his was awful and he better keep his away from the bathroom as well. Not that we'd want to see what's in there anyway if the kids have been over... you never know.

I haven't seen the party hat yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if he busts it out.

(I wouldn't be surprised at anything that busted out actually)

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/9/2006 8:51 am

    Quoting Seriously_Real:
    This is my third stab at a comment, because the first two sucked so badly that I had to scratch them.

    Sucked? Scratched? Holy fucking hell, can I possibly say ANYTHING that isn't a double-entendre? I need to stop right here before you go off on me. FUCK! Did it again.

    Sorry. Pretend I didn't say anything.

    --Seriously
Hey, at least you nailed it the third time.

*sigh*

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/9/2006 8:58 am

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    Yeah but think of it this way...
    In about 18 days, you'll need a wheelchair

    (I'd loan you mine but, oh never mind)
I'm *totally* going to need a wheelchair...

Then that's presupposing I'm actually going to want to go anywhere.

I might very well not!

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/9/2006 9:04 am

Oh trust me I'm not in an enviable position right now.

I was better off during a nice long drought when I wasn't getting any; you don't miss what you dont have after awhile.

But one month off, two weeks on, three months off, two weeks on, two months off is just enough to drive someone crazy. Thank god we only have like 2 weeks left of this... I couldn't take much more.

*sob*

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/9/2006 9:16 am

    Quoting chasingfun27:
    "Bulge is a *Top Rate* shag."

    I'm glad things are great between you guys but this is the definition of TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

    Good luck with the wait.(Pack a jumper!)
Hey Chasing... I said for "all you perves and all the girls that were always secretly wondering"... not for blokes! (Well unless youre a perv, which I don't think you are)!

You should have shielded your eyes!

Plus you should be happy; I'm starting a rumor here in America that Kiwi guys are the best shags. The emails should be pouring in any day now... Fuck knows the chicks would drool over your sexy Kiwi accent if it's anything like my Bulge's.

Girls, Air New Zeland is having a winter fare sale from Los Angeles... make your bookings now!

A

P.S. I've already got my airport outfit already picked out. Black leather boots with black thigh-high tights, plaid mini skirt and a tight black sweater... and nothing else but my ring and a smile.


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/9/2006 9:17 am

    Quoting DanielGR:
    Looks like you have a smile on your face.
    Just keep it there.

That is not a smile. I'm just clenching my teeth!

A


bardicman 51M

6/9/2006 4:17 pm

Hmmm, Think of me naked. I sent some pics in your email to help with the visual



I am not dead yet


curious082385 32F
4925 posts
6/10/2006 4:31 am

Poor you!
I remember my LDR...I was in CA, he was in FL...only saw each other every few months. It sucks!
But that first night sure is a lot of fun!
Whoops...that probably didn't help...


helga_hansen 50F
1987 posts
6/10/2006 6:47 am

    Quoting rm_LilBlondeNZ:
    Hey Chasing... I said for "all you perves and all the girls that were always secretly wondering"... not for blokes! (Well unless youre a perv, which I don't think you are)!

    You should have shielded your eyes!

    Plus you should be happy; I'm starting a rumor here in America that Kiwi guys are the best shags. The emails should be pouring in any day now... Fuck knows the chicks would drool over your sexy Kiwi accent if it's anything like my Bulge's.

    Girls, Air New Zeland is having a winter fare sale from Los Angeles... make your bookings now!

    A

    P.S. I've already got my airport outfit already picked out. Black leather boots with black thigh-high tights, plaid mini skirt and a tight black sweater... and nothing else but my ring and a smile.
You'll catch your death of cold, young lady, if you go out with no undies on!! You just do what you have to do, sweetie!! Top rate, hhhhmmm? I got me one of them... abso-fucking-brilliant, eh?

♥♥HH♥♥


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


TheRealThing655 49F
9558 posts
6/10/2006 6:53 am

I peek in here from time to time...I just want you to know I am so happy for both of you...you both are testament to the fact you can find true love, and make sacrifices to be with the one you love!! I wish you both much happiness- and of course, lots of great shagging!!!


rm_goddess1946 107F
13518 posts
6/10/2006 8:36 pm

You ARE going to make it...
seriously.

When you GET THERE!!!!!!!!!!!

Everythings gonna be alright!


Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/10/2006 8:47 pm

VR4... This is true. At least I know I have a sure thing when I get there.

And honestly, it didnt even occur to me the first time I went there to meet him that he was would be a bad shag. God could you imagine if I had gone all the way to New Zealand and the sex was lousy? Wow that would have sucked...

A

LIB... Trying to shut herself back in the dark closet and getting a wire drycleaner's hanger stuck in her hair.


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/10/2006 8:53 pm

    Quoting bardicman:
    Hmmm, Think of me naked. I sent some pics in your email to help with the visual
Hey! im still waiting for that email....

Bulge is right.... you *are* a fucking tease!

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/10/2006 8:54 pm

    Quoting curious082385:
    Poor you!
    I remember my LDR...I was in CA, he was in FL...only saw each other every few months. It sucks!
    But that first night sure is a lot of fun!
    Whoops...that probably didn't help...
Honestly, dreaming of that first day/night is what keeps me going ...

It will be worth the wait!

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/10/2006 8:59 pm

    Quoting helga_hansen:
    You'll catch your death of cold, young lady, if you go out with no undies on!! You just do what you have to do, sweetie!! Top rate, hhhhmmm? I got me one of them... abso-fucking-brilliant, eh?

    ♥♥HH♥♥
*whispers in girltalk tone*

Yeah, TOP RATE, HH.... definitely abso-fucking-brilliant....
you don't know.....

Oh actually, you do!

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/10/2006 9:03 pm

    Quoting TheRealThing655:
    I peek in here from time to time...I just want you to know I am so happy for both of you...you both are testament to the fact you can find true love, and make sacrifices to be with the one you love!! I wish you both much happiness- and of course, lots of great shagging!!!
TRT655... awww thanks! I like to feel proud when people think we are an example of something good.... I certainly think so.

Thanks for the visit and the good wishes!

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/10/2006 9:05 pm

ooooohhhhhh I'm trying huny!

Hand me that there paper bag to breathe into....

"Lordy!"



A


Peche85 32F

6/10/2006 9:13 pm

At least this time you won't be leaving him in a few weeks


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/11/2006 11:12 am

    Quoting rm_goddess1946:
    You ARE going to make it...
    seriously.

    When you GET THERE!!!!!!!!!!!

    Everythings gonna be alright!
Goddess ... always so positive...

*sigh*

Thank you for always keeping an eye on us.

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/11/2006 11:19 am

    Quoting Peche85:
    At least this time you won't be leaving him in a few weeks
I know!!!!

That's the best part... I actually can unpack and get comfy. It's stressful when I only have a few weeks there at a time... I'm thinking from the moment I get off the plane "Oh no, Now I only have X Days and X hours left." I'm constantly panicking about running out of time. The last few days of my visits, it always feels like I've been diagnosed with a terminal disease and my life is going to end. I hate it.

It will be nice to be able to exhale and not be so tense about having to leave ... for a bit at least. (I'm have to come back to NY in September to work for a bit to work here and make some money so that will suck... but I don't even want to think about it!)

Your laptop get fixed yet???

A


rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
6/11/2006 11:20 am

Hi Widge! Thanks for the visit.

A


Become a member to create a blog