92 posts
7/16/2006 6:38 pm

A police officer pulls a lady over for speeding, and has the following exchange:

Officer: "May I see your driver`s license?"

Driver: "I don`t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI."

Officer: "May I see the owner`s card for this vehicle?"

Driver: "It`s not my car. I stole it."

Officer: "The car is stolen?"

Driver: "That`s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner`s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in here."

Officer: "There`s a gun in the glove box?"

Driver: "Yes sir. That`s where I put it after I shot and killed the guy that owns this car and stuffed him in the trunk."

Officer: "There`s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?"

Driver: "Yes, sir."

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: "Ma`am, can I see your license?"

Driver: "Sure. Here it is." It was valid.

Captain: "Who`s car is this?"

Driver: "It`s mine, officer. Here`s the owner` card." The driver owned the car.

Captain: "Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there`s a gun in it?"

Driver: "Yes, sir, but there`s no gun in it." Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: "Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there`s a body in it."

Driver: "No problem." Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: "I don`t understand. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn`t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk?"

Driver: "Yeah, I`ll bet that lying Son-of-a-bitch told you I was speeding, too!"

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