What to wear?  

Knot4Everyone 41F
734 posts
4/8/2006 1:59 pm

Last Read:
4/14/2006 8:25 pm

What to wear?

Okay. It's about 4:30pm on a Saturday afternoon and I have yet to get dressed. I have been roaming the house in my PJ's all morning, and now I'm fresh from the shower sitting here in a towel. I have no idea what to wear because I hate all my clothes right now!

I hate them because of the style or the cut or the colors or the way they fit. I wish I could just toss the entire contents of my closet into a big bag and drop it off at Goodwill on my way to the store to start over again, but I don't have the financial resources to do that.

This feeling comes over me from time to time. My wardrobe doesn't exactly match who I am. It never really has. I'm not talking about designer labels or anything like that - I refuse to spend over $30 on a pair of jeans. I just don't like my clothes.

I think this may have something to do with my first boyfriend. I was 16 before I ever went out with a boy, and I said yes to the first boy to ask me to be his girlfriend. Here are some things I remember about my first boyfriend (who I was with for 4 years, btw)...

He had posters up all over his bedroom - the sexy, ultra-thin women wearing practically nothing kind of posters. He would compare me to these women on his walls, saying I could look that good if only I'd do this or if I would try doing that. His comments always made me feel like shit, like I was ugly and fat and nobody would even bother to give me a second glance. His comments made me even more self-conscious than I already was.

He would basically tell me how to dress. I would usually dress in over-sized jeans and baggy t-shirts, and he was cool with that. One time I tucked in my baggy t-shirt and he didn't like that at all. Another time I wore a t-shirt that actually fit me and he threw a fit! His problem: I was revealing too much of my figure. So, in order to keep the peace, I would always wear over-sized jeans and XL t-shirts untucked.

Yeah, he was kind of a jerk. It took me 4 years to realize what was going on and that I deserved better, but all of that is still with me today. I HATE to be compared to any other woman, real or in a photograph. If I wear something form-fitting then I an very uncomfortable, waiting for something bad to happen. I think that's why I buy the clothes I do.

I'll see a cute lil' top in the store, pick it up and start to place it in my cart, but I almost always put it back on the rack. If it does make it into my cart then it just hangs in my closet when I get home, never seeing the light of day.

My closet is full of big t-shirts and conservative stuff with the occasional cute, young piece hiding in-between. It's so depressing!

I need to just go for it. I need to make a change. I need to let go of all the negative things that boy did to me. I need to buy a new wardrobe!

But I can't go out in just this towel! I'm back to wear I started: What do I wear?!?!?!?


Jeepidiot 43M

4/8/2006 3:14 pm

I don't think you are feeling different than any other woman. I think at least once a year they suddenly decide they need a whole new wardrobe because they hate everything they have. Some are just more calm about it than others. I actually awoke to the sound of furious screaming one morning when I was still with my girlfriend. She was having what could best be described as a "psychotic attack" because she didn't like any of the clothes she had. She was in a frenzy. Throwing everything out of the closest. Yes I somehow ended up being considered the unstable one.

As long as it fits me, I'm happy with it for the most part. I don't bother trying to figure out what's in fashion. I've probably got tshirts that are 10 years old and I'm sure some of my jeans are 5years old. As long as I don't think I look incredibly stupid in it, then I'll wear it.


Knot4Everyone 41F

4/8/2006 6:27 pm

Jeepidiot: First let me say that you look all sophisticated (and handsome) in your tie! I didn't get as crazy as your ex, this has been building and bothering me for quite some time now. It's not about the fashion of the moment, it's simply that the clothes I own don't do anything for me. A lot of my clothes are many years old too.

MzHuny: I'm with you all the way! I think I need to plan a shopping weekend with my friend - she's always telling me how she got this adorable skirt/shirt/pants/whatever for something like $1.58! I need her to share her shopping wisdom!


Jeepidiot 43M

4/8/2006 10:39 pm

The only time you'll ever see me in a tie or anything remotely approacing dressed up is either at a wedding(like in the pic) or a funeral.


learningone 44M

4/10/2006 4:15 pm

Is that you in the profile picture? If so, you have no business thinking you're fat. Stop that immediately!


learningone 44M

4/10/2006 4:17 pm

jeepidiot -- I'm with you -- no dressing up except for funerals and weddings.


Knot4Everyone 41F

4/10/2006 6:23 pm

learningone: The picture in my profile is mine, however the picture in this post is not (I don't have any fancy dresses like that!). If you were referring to my actual profile pic, then I say a great big Thank You!


learningone 44M

4/10/2006 9:41 pm

I was referring to your profile pic, not the one in your post. You're welcome.


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