A complete man  

Kaliedascope61 42M
3157 posts
2/19/2006 1:38 pm

Last Read:
4/15/2006 8:05 am

A complete man

Moods

I went in to work this morning, but ended up going home for being contagious. I’m listening to the kind of folk music you might here at a place called the World Café in Philadelphia. It’s a dream of mine to go there someday. It’s one of those reflective Sundays for me, its raining outside; I’m in my old boot camp navy sweatshirt. It’s kinda cold in here, but I don’t want the heat on, heat makes me nervous.

I shouted out to the night
Give me what I deserve
Because that’s my right


I’m starting to make a lot of friends through blogging, all of it because I wanted a place that would give me a chance to expand on my profile, and give me a chance to meet more people who are looking for people like me. It’s a wonderful circle of friends I have stumbled on. I’m feel I’m slowly but surely entering into a group of really nice friends.

me, my thoughts are flower strewn
ocean storm, bayberry moon.
I have got to leave to find my way.
Watch the road and memorize
this life that pass before my eyes.
Nothing is going my way.


I wanted to take a chance, open up a little bit. Tell you some secrets to make this experience in Blogland a little more personal for me. I’m a dreamer, a thinker, I’m passionate and more then anything I’m alive! My life has never been an easy one, I grew up struggling to be accepted, and I eventually came to learn it was all in my head. I fell in love for the first time when I was 13, and even though when we were 19 and she is gone and can never return, I love her still and always will. When I was 16 my oldest brother was shot by some gang banger who crashed a party. He is now paralyzed. It changes everything when you are a little brother, your whole perspective of life, and fairness, and victims and punishment, hope ceases to be a part of you. Some things you force yourself to forget. Hospitals make me cry. People, who don’t pay for the crimes that they commit, make me angry to a point that I can’t control it. But I am alive. I am happy, my brother is happy, he’s got a beautiful wife, a beautiful son they adopted a few years ago. He lives in a beautiful house, the American dream.

I was standing on the surface
Of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole
And thousands upon thousands
Made an ocean, making islands
Where no island should go


Why am I telling you these things? Because those two events in my life are my guiding factors in everything that I do. That is my path. It gives me strength and courage to obtain my goals in life. I had to go through those trials to feel like I am a complete man. Anyone who is going to be a friend of mine will need to know this, its important to me that they do. When I do something that’s a little out of the ordinary, or say something that’s a little to blunt, if I’m quick to defend, or quick to love, or quick to hate, you will know why.

No time, no place, to talk about the weather
The promise of love is hard to ignore
You said the chance wasn’t getting any better
The Labor of love is ours to endure


Songs
Lucinda Williams
Rem
Death Cab for Cutie
Crowded House



champagnechaser 42F
1639 posts
2/19/2006 4:49 pm

Sounds like you are very much in touch with who you are and what you want out of life. Anytime you want to visit the Northeast, feel free to crash at my place.


LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
2/19/2006 5:41 pm

My reasons for being here are the same as yours Kalied...to vent, share and make friends, for real.

I feel bad for the crap you've had to deal with, but I commend you for facing it head on and being aware.

May your Bank account be always full
May you always have a friend to see
May you always have a place to stay
And I hope you find a hot wet pussy

I wish you well...even though I suck at prose. Lol!

lustytaurus


southrnpeach333 51F

2/19/2006 6:42 pm

Thank you for sharing. It is amazing how much there is to learn from other people's experiences and perspective. And amazing how painful it can be to share parts of ourselves even though most often we are better for the sharing.


NSAAddict 43F

2/19/2006 8:43 pm

Thanks for sharing what's in your heart K, I've lived by the rule that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and you're a testament to that. The complete man for sure and someone I'm happy to call a friend NSA


MsLoveRose 34F  
2432 posts
2/20/2006 9:34 am

you know i was having a similar discussion with a dear friend and he didnt seem to understand how i could be so bright and happy...JUST smiling like i have NOOOO burdens!! i got to talking and he wanted to cry!! but there i was smiling, just as strong as ever!!!

SOME people will spend their entire life on a joruney to experience that place you are in!!! some will never find it!! some have seen it, some have even lost it!!! but that is one of the good things about being yourself!! YOU GET TO BE YOU!!!!!

thanks for sharin!!

live more, laugh often, love much


SilkenKiera 39F  

2/20/2006 9:49 am

We are certainly glad that you have joined our little community, and I love your writing style. Your blog is going on my watch list. I have found that many people come here to use this space as an outlet. Sometimes they get what they need and then lovingly travel on to the next phase in their life. Still others will stay here for as long as they breath gaining certain perspectives. All will remain here in some way forever. Welcome.

Kiera


saddletrampsk 55F

2/20/2006 10:47 am

thanks for sharing your life with us all..it only makes the blog community a better place with ppl like you..


Kaliedascope61 42M
4084 posts
2/20/2006 6:45 pm

    Quoting champagnechaser:
    Sounds like you are very much in touch with who you are and what you want out of life. Anytime you want to visit the Northeast, feel free to crash at my place.
I like to think so CC. I know I'm always looking ahead, and always making goals to achieve.


Kaliedascope61 42M
4084 posts
2/20/2006 7:07 pm

    Quoting LustyTaurus:
    My reasons for being here are the same as yours Kalied...to vent, share and make friends, for real.

    I feel bad for the crap you've had to deal with, but I commend you for facing it head on and being aware.

    May your Bank account be always full
    May you always have a friend to see
    May you always have a place to stay
    And I hope you find a hot wet pussy

    I wish you well...even though I suck at prose. Lol!

    lustytaurus
Hey thanks I appreciate your words, and I'll go check outyour blog too!


Kaliedascope61 42M
4084 posts
2/20/2006 7:09 pm

    Quoting southrnpeach333:
    Thank you for sharing. It is amazing how much there is to learn from other people's experiences and perspective. And amazing how painful it can be to share parts of ourselves even though most often we are better for the sharing.
ty for reading it. Its never painful for me to share it, was painful to go through it.


Kaliedascope61 42M
4084 posts
2/20/2006 7:11 pm

    Quoting travelingintexas:
    When I do something that’s a little out of the ordinary, or say something that’s a little to blunt, if I’m quick to defend, or quick to love, or quick to hate, you will know why.

    Yup..I get that... Me too...

    Thanks for sharing!

    Trav
thanks for stopping by, I figured you would after reading some of your blog.


Kaliedascope61 42M
4084 posts
2/20/2006 7:12 pm

    Quoting NSAAddict:
    Thanks for sharing what's in your heart K, I've lived by the rule that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and you're a testament to that. The complete man for sure and someone I'm happy to call a friend NSA
I'm happy to call you a friend too!


Kaliedascope61 42M
4084 posts
2/20/2006 7:13 pm

    Quoting MsLoveRose:
    you know i was having a similar discussion with a dear friend and he didnt seem to understand how i could be so bright and happy...JUST smiling like i have NOOOO burdens!! i got to talking and he wanted to cry!! but there i was smiling, just as strong as ever!!!

    SOME people will spend their entire life on a joruney to experience that place you are in!!! some will never find it!! some have seen it, some have even lost it!!! but that is one of the good things about being yourself!! YOU GET TO BE YOU!!!!!

    thanks for sharin!!
"aren't I going to be me?" - Forest Gump


Kaliedascope61 42M
4084 posts
2/20/2006 7:15 pm

    Quoting SilkenKiera:
    We are certainly glad that you have joined our little community, and I love your writing style. Your blog is going on my watch list. I have found that many people come here to use this space as an outlet. Sometimes they get what they need and then lovingly travel on to the next phase in their life. Still others will stay here for as long as they breath gaining certain perspectives. All will remain here in some way forever. Welcome.

    Kiera
I know I enjoy it hear. I love writing, I love reading. This has the best of both worlds for me. and thank you for putting me on your list!


Kaliedascope61 42M
4084 posts
2/20/2006 7:17 pm

    Quoting saddletrampsk:
    thanks for sharing your life with us all..it only makes the blog community a better place with ppl like you..
that is very kind of you to say.


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