The Mourning Poll  

KC_JJ 55M
5219 posts
9/7/2006 9:27 am

Last Read:
9/29/2006 8:15 am

The Mourning Poll

When you are mourning the loss of a romantically oriented loved one you are actually mourning the loss of...
the sex
the imgainary, idealized person you created in your head who bared resemblance to your lost one but actually never existed
all the stuff they always gave you like money, assorted party favors, and/or stuff like doing your laundry
nothing at all, you are just being a staright up, wimp assed pansy!


MMM [ MMM


Transblucency 45M

9/7/2006 11:04 am

I'm not going to vote because you left some options out, deliberately I suspect.

You could, of course, just be missing their company, or mourning the final division of once shared histories.

I don't think there's anything weenie about missing those who have gone, although it doesn't do to dwell there for too long.


KC_JJ 55M

9/7/2006 11:40 am

    Quoting Transblucency:
    You could, of course, just be missing their company, or mourning the final division of once shared histories. Or you could just being a big old mopey-puss. Dry those tears, rainy-face!
I'm thoroughly apalled that you would even consider that I be so unmanly as to participate in such an un-machismo-like manner!

This idea just sort of randomly came to me and I thought I might share it for the benefit of others. ( yeah, right )

I wonder if men might become more open to bouts of full blown sobbing if it were somehow turned into a type of competitive sport?

Actually grieving of this sort can some time be made "fun" ( relatively that is ) if the counvulsions running through you ever achieve a vibratory body pitch close to that of "belly laugh" style laughter. Then it become quite novel to notice how this state can actually even sort of feel like a big belly laugh as well. You gotta be REAL distraught to ever get your grieving based vibratory spasms to temporarily slide into the "sorta like a big belly laugh" zone. But if you can manage to sorta lock on to that zone in a holding pattern for awhile it offers a breif and somewhat entertaining ascape from that worse feeling zone which surrounds it on all sides.

Actually the only time I ever achieved that one was for my first humongous shattered heart of all time. But I did get somethng way more intense which registred something like an 11 on the earthquake Richter scale. That was more like a full blown seizure and happened the morning right after my mom died. I can't ever see topping that one.

In that I think I broke through the allowed emotional pain threshold level and during it I fully numbed out and it was sort of like was suspened above myself just looking down on me convulsing and while I also made the most god awful unearthly sounds which have ever come out of me. And from that numbed out state it was, at the same time sort of serene in its own way and I then just sort of calmly witnessed myself spazz out there until those very intense waves of supremely bummer emotion finished blowing straight through me like a few sets of rhythmic hurricane force winds.

Not exactly fun but thoroughly fascinating.

MMM [ MMM


Transblucency 45M

9/7/2006 6:33 pm

    Quoting KC_JJ:
    I'm thoroughly apalled that you would even consider that I be so unmanly as to participate in such an un-machismo-like manner!

    This idea just sort of randomly came to me and I thought I might share it for the benefit of others. ( yeah, right )

    I wonder if men might become more open to bouts of full blown sobbing if it were somehow turned into a type of competitive sport?

    Actually grieving of this sort can some time be made "fun" ( relatively that is ) if the counvulsions running through you ever achieve a vibratory body pitch close to that of "belly laugh" style laughter. Then it become quite novel to notice how this state can actually even sort of feel like a big belly laugh as well. You gotta be REAL distraught to ever get your grieving based vibratory spasms to temporarily slide into the "sorta like a big belly laugh" zone. But if you can manage to sorta lock on to that zone in a holding pattern for awhile it offers a breif and somewhat entertaining ascape from that worse feeling zone which surrounds it on all sides.

    Actually the only time I ever achieved that one was for my first humongous shattered heart of all time. But I did get somethng way more intense which registred something like an 11 on the earthquake Richter scale. That was more like a full blown seizure and happened the morning right after my mom died. I can't ever see topping that one.

    In that I think I broke through the allowed emotional pain threshold level and during it I fully numbed out and it was sort of like was suspened above myself just looking down on me convulsing and while I also made the most god awful unearthly sounds which have ever come out of me. And from that numbed out state it was, at the same time sort of serene in its own way and I then just sort of calmly witnessed myself spazz out there until those very intense waves of supremely bummer emotion finished blowing straight through me like a few sets of rhythmic hurricane force winds.

    Not exactly fun but thoroughly fascinating.
LOL

You'll have noticed that I actually went back and deleted the OP that you quoted in favor of a more squishy, sensitive one, hoping against all hope that you hadn't already seen and started replying to the first one.

It dawned on me after I had hit "send" that you might have actually been feeling depressed about some past lover or something, in which case my first response would have been quite callous.

So I switched it out. Now who looks like the sensitive wilting flower?

Hoist by my own petard, so's to speak. Fuckery bugger!


KC_JJ 55M

9/8/2006 2:18 am

    Quoting rm_silkditty:
    wasn't really sure that I was going to comment until I saw your response to transblucency - I think we feel grief in proportion to how much we loved

    I know the grief for passing of a mother in the same way you do

    grief for the end of a romantic relationship doesn't approach that, but has enormous impact

    I smiled at your thought of turning sobbing into a competitive sport for men
Hi Silkditty,

I was not prepared at all for the supreme wallop of what it's like to suddenly have to say farewell to she who you truly sprung forth from. She really was the literal medium which I came into physical being through and continued to be the always unshakable ground on which I literally stood even after I emerged. Not that my father was not also a thoroughly vital element but somehow there is still something about the bond between my mother and I which is/was categorically diferent than what I have with him.

And I don't think I could ever share that kind of deeply and quite thouroghly pervasive emotional bond that I had with her again with another. I'm guessing that something of that nature is essentially unique to a full and consistent lifelong relationship between a parent and child. Or more specifically between mother and child.

I sort of hope so too because I don't want to have to go through the kinds of feelings I did on that one again. It occured over five years ago and I am still not done processing them.

And those feelings were also furtherly exacerbated due to my GF at that time using that event as her cue to turn up the heat in aggressively trying to talk me into marrying her. Which only served to furtherly amplify my feelings of loss and ended up having the direct reverse effect on me that the girl was attempting to achieve.

I knew quite well what genuine love felt like and it had nothing to do with the feelings I was getting from that girlfriend. So that situation went into an extended and quite unsalvagable tailspin. And indeed became a large element of the gestalt of that whole scenario.

So I now at least have that reference point for "the worst that it can get". Or I at least hope and pray that's the worst it can ever get. From an emotionally bummed out perspective that is.

I smiled at your thought of turning sobbing into a competitive sport for men

Oftentimes I seem to be the only one who gets my jokes ( probably for good reason ). But I'm glad you appreciated that one. I like picturing a bunch of really athletically inclined "tough guy" types seeing who can "out sob" the other.

MMM [ MMM


KC_JJ 55M

9/8/2006 3:34 am

    Quoting Transblucency:
    LOL

    You'll have noticed that I actually went back and deleted the OP that you quoted in favor of a more squishy, sensitive one, hoping against all hope that you hadn't already seen and started replying to the first one.

    It dawned on me after I had hit "send" that you might have actually been feeling depressed about some past lover or something, in which case my first response would have been quite callous.

    So I switched it out. Now who looks like the sensitive wilting flower?

    Hoist by my own petard, so's to speak. Fuckery bugger!
Yeah Trans,
( pink box indicates a generalized not-to-be-taken-seriously "pansy" joke response is in the works )

You see I'm secretly a full blown psychic and I knew you would do that. So I timed everything all proper and then milked this for all it was worth in order to out you as the genuine wilting pussy flower that is truly you at your core and essence.

I'd probably not be so bold to say that straight to your face if you were freshly primed from a boxing warmup.

Looking back over past relationships comparitively I miss different things about different people. Some having wholly unique combinations of qualities that I certainly know I would be a fool to try to find a new substitute for. But certain girls had specific rock solid basic and root qualities which I now realize absolutely must be there in a strong way or a relationship is not what is happening at all even if it might appear to be for awhile.

One thing I definitely do know though is that since that tragic event mentioned involving my mother I have not yet been able to establish anything which might really qualify as a bona fide relationship. I do think I am now really at a point where I can though and it's a rather good feeling to know that. Because this is the first time in quite awhile where I think I could honestly say that. And for far too long I wasn't certain if I would ever be able to.

So when I think about past (bummer) event as functioning as actual seeds for my own positve growth in the future, at the very least I can say that my most recent adventures in bummerville have already yeilded some rather decent and substantial fruit.

MMM [ MMM


KC_JJ 55M

9/8/2006 5:12 pm

    Quoting spunky11961:
    This has been to date, the best poll I've seen anywhere here. I've voted because it's very fitting to me. And I've really enjoyed reading your comments and your replies here! I'm glad I stopped in, Thanx for that in mine!~
    ~spunky
Hey spunky!

Thanks for the visit and I'm glad you liked the poll. The answer which is almost always the case for myself is way in the lead now but I'm also really pleased that someone voted for goofy option #4

nothing at all, you are just being a straight up, wimp assed pansy!

MMM [ MMM


Mermaidslut 51F

9/10/2006 3:58 pm

    Quoting KC_JJ:
    I'm thoroughly apalled that you would even consider that I be so unmanly as to participate in such an un-machismo-like manner!

    This idea just sort of randomly came to me and I thought I might share it for the benefit of others. ( yeah, right )

    I wonder if men might become more open to bouts of full blown sobbing if it were somehow turned into a type of competitive sport?

    Actually grieving of this sort can some time be made "fun" ( relatively that is ) if the counvulsions running through you ever achieve a vibratory body pitch close to that of "belly laugh" style laughter. Then it become quite novel to notice how this state can actually even sort of feel like a big belly laugh as well. You gotta be REAL distraught to ever get your grieving based vibratory spasms to temporarily slide into the "sorta like a big belly laugh" zone. But if you can manage to sorta lock on to that zone in a holding pattern for awhile it offers a breif and somewhat entertaining ascape from that worse feeling zone which surrounds it on all sides.

    Actually the only time I ever achieved that one was for my first humongous shattered heart of all time. But I did get somethng way more intense which registred something like an 11 on the earthquake Richter scale. That was more like a full blown seizure and happened the morning right after my mom died. I can't ever see topping that one.

    In that I think I broke through the allowed emotional pain threshold level and during it I fully numbed out and it was sort of like was suspened above myself just looking down on me convulsing and while I also made the most god awful unearthly sounds which have ever come out of me. And from that numbed out state it was, at the same time sort of serene in its own way and I then just sort of calmly witnessed myself spazz out there until those very intense waves of supremely bummer emotion finished blowing straight through me like a few sets of rhythmic hurricane force winds.

    Not exactly fun but thoroughly fascinating.
out of body experience brought on by intense emotions of an anxiety attack

really intense experience


KC_JJ 55M

9/14/2006 11:16 am

    Quoting Mermaidslut:
    out of body experience brought on by intense emotions of an anxiety attack

    really intense experience
It really did feel like quite powerful emotional winds were blowing straight through me too. And yes it's one of the more intense expericences I've ever had. And I really have no desire whatsoever to repeat it. But luckily the odds are quite low of that happening as I think it was an event quite unique to that particular situation.

At least I hope it was.

MMM [ MMM


EroticaXTC 51F

10/26/2009 4:25 am

It shows that I voted for number 2 but if I commented here, it seems to have been gobbled by the comment goblin.


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