Mowing - Portrait of the Mundane  

KC_JJ 55M
5219 posts
4/24/2006 7:28 pm

Last Read:
6/28/2007 2:03 am

Mowing - Portrait of the Mundane

How do I love mowing? Let me count the ways.

1. It gets me away from the interactive never ending distraction box (computer)

2. The way I do it it's genuine aerobic excersise. (with much brisk vigor and oftentimes on less than level ground)

3. I get to see the native reptiles (If I'm lucky)

4. I can appear to the rest of the world that I actually do something.

5. I get some sunlight.

The plot of land is a full acre but I also mow some of the neighbors overgrowth. There is a house on one section of it and I do my best not to mow that area, but with he addition of the neighbors extras I'll still call it an even acre of actual mowed turf..

Some days I think one of those mini tractor style drive mowers would be nice but that's cheating. I could also go super macho and call the gas engine cheating and revert back to the old ecologically friendly but overly strenuous, push powered, non-moto, cylindrical spin blade mower but I know where to draw the line when it comes to cheating. I can get exhausted from doing just 1/3 of the mowing on particularly hot days. With the non-moto, spin blade mower it might take me a week to get through the whole thing.

Golf carts are for pansies though. That removes any trace of that sport being an actual athletic activity.

My butt and palms got sore on my first mowing day of the season. In some way mowing works the buttocks.

And for some reason I hate when someone else in the neighborhood starts mowing during the same time that I am. Like I'm most comfortable if I'm the only one around who's currently mowing. I'm not sure what that is. Probably a subconsious idiot aplha male thing.

The entire northern facing front part towards the street has a very odd slope to it. Relative to the street below it it slants both forwards/down and sideways. For some reason this makes it a hell of a lot more work to mow than if it were level.

That's the part I'll be soon stepping out to begin today. This may provide sonic accompanyment to some of the neighbors dinner meal. In spots the "native grasses" (AKA weeds) are up to 3 or 4 feet high. Mowing the high stuff takes more energy because the mower must be tilted backward and rolled on two wheel (like doing a wheelie) to chop the behemoth stature of the overgrown "native grasses".

I've never actually passed out from exhausstion/heat stroke but a few times I've come as close to it as you'd ever want to get. Those 100+f degree days can sometimes really take their toll.

Snakes are cool. While mowing I've seen a garden snake, a king snake and a rosy boa. I always consider that a good omen. And I usually cannot resist the urge to catch them and check them out at point blank range for just a few moments. King snakes have some sort of skunk-like defense in which if you capture one you'll soon smell something like a paper mill combined with a big fart. My theory is that these snakes save up all their farts for when they are in danger and then let loose a whole months worth of foul gas in one single blast of glory. Supposedly the king snake can kill a rattler. Rattlers are around here too but I've never seen one while mowing.

The dust kicked up while mowing can increase earwax production to a ridiculous degree so to lessen this the ground can be first wetted with a sprinkler. My first year back from living in europe one ear sealed shut and immediately I got weird vertigo problems from it. A Dr. friend looked into the ear with his earscope and said the biggest waxball he'd ever seen was in there. I could tell a whole story about that ordeal. I've now learned how to keep that from happening again.

I'm guessing this portait of the mundane will most likely inspire none of you to want to rush out and enthusiastically mow a full acre of non-level ground covered in overgrown native grasses.



MMM [ MMM


saddletrampsk 55F

4/24/2006 8:31 pm

I like to mow the lawn on the farm too..I have about the same amount of lawn to mow as you do and I use a gas push mower..The only thing I hate is when I mow over a dog's bone and it flies through the air, narrowly missing my picture window..that always makes for some excitement..I also mow over non-manicured natural areas..I call my lawnmower my "bush hog"..Happy Mowing dude and thanks for coming to my hoedown..


KC_JJ 55M

4/24/2006 9:38 pm

I hate that feeling of mowing over something hard that stops the mower cold. Similar to that ugly vibratory feeling that's sledgehammered through your arms and body when hitting a baseball full force at the "just wrong" spot on the bat.

I can't help but love a sexy and hard partying country girl who doesn't particularly enjoy country music. They're quite a rare breed and are nearly impossible to locate but lucky for me you're one of them!

MMM [ MMM


gnr8nrg 47M

4/24/2006 11:20 pm

Hi KC Golf carts are fun on the course at night. I worked security at Torrey Pines so I'd cruise the course on overnight shifts. Caught a few people out there too. I don't like snakes though. I saw one a few weeks ago while hiking Griffith. I also hated mowing as a kid, but I'd like it now because it would be my little piece of earth.


Christabel168 45F

4/25/2006 7:05 am

Haaaa chooo.. sorry.. always happens when someone cuts the grass around me...


KC_JJ 55M

4/25/2006 9:05 am

Hey gnr8,

I knew those carts had to be good for something. And Torrey Pines is one of the top locations you could have had to cruise one. In high school the golf course about a half mile from me used to be spot some couples would go at night with a sleeping bag. I'm not quite sure what they did there but I suspect that a lot of sleeping really was not done.

My brother is actually a world class golfer and used to caddy at Bel Aire counrty club when he was on the UCLA golf team. I too was phenomenal for a 10 year old at the game but my brother started kicking my ass so badly at it that I quit in comparitive frustration. Like I did with almost every other sport since the bro is also an ambidextrious multi athelete.

He's a real easy going guy and would have expert tutored me in any sport I wanted but I just looked at how good he was and decied that I simply sucked at sports and quit them all.

I was only better at one physical thing than him and that was tree climbing as I was a natural born monkey. There was no tree climbing team in High School though.

MMM [ MMM


KC_JJ 55M

4/25/2006 9:19 am

Hey Christabelle,

yeah I have a history of being quite allergic to stuff but luckily as I've gotten older this has decreased. A lot of the plants I mow are what you might describe as "highly aromatic" in a sage brush and "canyony" way.

Plus there a pale green plant that looks rather harmless that comes up in August and I rightfully call it "the allergy plant". These must be mowed while they are young and green or they become much like allegy land mines. If they are allowed to mature and then to dry up and you mow one the allergic effecty instantly created will simply stop you cold with sneezing, wheezing and sinus inflamation.

If there was a big market for evil sneeze powder I could make a mint making it from that plant. i'd need a gas mask capable cutting through anhydrous ammonia to safely make it but i certainly have the botanical assets to do it with. or I will in August.

PS. Say hi to Madame Blavatsky and Jwal Khul for me

MMM [ MMM


KISSABLE_KINK 49F

4/25/2006 9:31 am

Greetings KC,
I absolutely love this entry, not only did you make me want to try out a lawnmower, which I never have but your detailed description put me right there in the middel of it all. I am sure the snakes are not too thrilled about the bad you are giving them, with the whole thing about them saving up all of their gases for the day of an attack. I bet your lawn looks beautiful, I am very proud of you KC, you actually told me you were thinking of doing your yard and you did.
P.S.
Cool pic


KC_JJ 55M

4/25/2006 12:11 pm

Hi Goddess and Empress of Planet kinque,

I was hoping so much that someone would mention my theory of the king snakes odor defense. And you gone and done it!. I've caught at least three king snakes in my life and each time when I've caught them they let out a big foul odor.

And I also got sprayed by a skunk when I was a young youth. Their stink juice literally does spray out of thir hindquarters and it is a clear liquid. I got covered with it once when trying to catch one with a hoop style fishing net. I wore glasses at that time and could see clear droplets of the skunks stink juice spattered on my glasses lenses. It made me smell real bad.

And yes, I was not joking when I mentioned I would begin my mowing soon. I do my best to follow through on what I say. Even with stuff like going statue groping at Museums in LA.


MMM [ MMM


KISSABLE_KINK 49F

4/25/2006 2:16 pm

KC,
I just had to mention it, I had to come to their defense. I can not believe you got sprayed by a naughty SKUNK, Thank God you were wearing eye wear darling. I was at a vet's once and a gorgeous dog came in, of course I just had to go over and say hi and noticed that it was completely blind in one eye, the eye was discolored and very damaged.
The owner then told me that she had taken the dog hiking and that a Skunk sprayed her eye.
People who get sprayed in the face can also go blind.
P.S.
Skunks have really adorable faces, turned up nose!!!


rm_cockmerollme 46F
1223 posts
4/25/2006 7:57 pm

I feel the same way about vacuuming.

It's instant gratification in cleaning.

And I hate hate when I have a mishit with my bat.

Even worse when it's an aluminum bat. Yuck.

LET'S GO METS!!!


caressmewell 54F

4/25/2006 9:10 pm

Great post. I mow the grass at my house too..gas mower. I don't like snakes but I love the toads, frogs and lizzards that hang out and keep the bug population down for me.


widowsaddiction 48F

4/26/2006 10:34 am

I would mow acres and acres of grass if I was sure I wouldn't ever come across a snake...foul smelling or not. When I was growing up, we lived in the country without a soul around. Coming across rattlesnakes was a common occurance then....and because of it, I hate them now! Bring on the mowers....just leave the snakes out of it!


Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
4/26/2006 11:12 am

I love to watch a sexy man mow the lawn. Next time can I come over watch you? I'll help you cool down when you're done. Maybe a nice cold ice cube running up and down your body will be a nice start to the cool down.

Whisper...

P.S. - Sorry... I had to go there! I really do love to watch sexy men mow. I don't know why but it gets me a bit excited. LMAO!!!


bardicman 51M

4/26/2006 6:14 pm

Mowing is Chicken Soup for the soul.



I am not dead yet


KC_JJ 55M

4/27/2006 1:09 am

Hi Mizz Hunyhole,

you said..."I got a lawnmower man."

Is there a second layer of meaning intended in that statement or is it meant to be taken simply as it is straight on the surface?

That position is not a bad one to have as a decently young man who might like some opportunities with some potentially desperate housewives.

And Mizz Hunyhole don't think that insinuating that you fall into that category of description I was simply taking the opportunity to use a term that I stole from a popular TV show.

MMM [ MMM


rm_SusieQ27 47F
2093 posts
5/3/2006 2:59 am

Ooo.I think not, hun. Toomuch effort for very little reward, if you ask me. My garden is now lawn free. I like to groe things and eat them too, if possible. There's nothing sweeter, in the culinary stakes, than biting into your own produce...mmm..Also..why did you have the strange notion that your buttocks kept immobile as you walked..come chat in msn with me, I'll show you some shapely buttocks, hun.

As for the reason it seems harder to mow your tilting grasslands..they seem big enough to warrant that title. Have you never heard of gravity, hun?

Luv n stuff {=} Susie {=}


KC_JJ 55M

11/22/2006 2:33 am

    Quoting rm_cockmerollme:
    I feel the same way about vacuuming.

    It's instant gratification in cleaning.

    And I hate hate when I have a mishit with my bat.

    Even worse when it's an aluminum bat. Yuck.
I didn't realize that aluminum bats also had a "wrong" sopt on them.

MMM [ MMM


KC_JJ 55M

11/22/2006 2:34 am

    Quoting caressmewell:
    Great post. I mow the grass at my house too..gas mower. I don't like snakes but I love the toads, frogs and lizzards that hang out and keep the bug population down for me.
amphibians and reptiles are cool!

MMM [ MMM


KC_JJ 55M

11/22/2006 2:36 am

    Quoting widowsaddiction:
    I would mow acres and acres of grass if I was sure I wouldn't ever come across a snake...foul smelling or not. When I was growing up, we lived in the country without a soul around. Coming across rattlesnakes was a common occurance then....and because of it, I hate them now! Bring on the mowers....just leave the snakes out of it!
think of them as your friends and they will be so. Think of them otherwise and that will become true too.

MMM [ MMM


KC_JJ 55M

11/22/2006 2:39 am

    Quoting Whispersoftly5:
    I love to watch a sexy man mow the lawn. Next time can I come over watch you? I'll help you cool down when you're done. Maybe a nice cold ice cube running up and down your body will be a nice start to the cool down.

    Whisper...

    P.S. - Sorry... I had to go there! I really do love to watch sexy men mow. I don't know why but it gets me a bit excited. LMAO!!!
i hope you like the smell of chapparal/sage brush. i just mowed yesterday and due to all the native "aromatic" herbs in the area I always smell like rosemary after a mowing session.

MMM [ MMM


KC_JJ 55M

11/22/2006 2:40 am

    Quoting bardicman:
    Mowing is Chicken Soup for the soul.
DAMN STRAIGHT!

MMM [ MMM


KC_JJ 55M

11/22/2006 2:42 am

    Quoting rm_SusieQ27:
    Ooo.I think not, hun. Toomuch effort for very little reward, if you ask me. My garden is now lawn free. I like to groe things and eat them too, if possible. There's nothing sweeter, in the culinary stakes, than biting into your own produce...mmm..Also..why did you have the strange notion that your buttocks kept immobile as you walked..come chat in msn with me, I'll show you some shapely buttocks, hun.

    As for the reason it seems harder to mow your tilting grasslands..they seem big enough to warrant that title. Have you never heard of gravity, hun?

    Luv n stuff {=} Susie {=}


I guess I really need to post a picture of my "immobile buttocks" for you!



MMM [ MMM


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
6/29/2007 10:11 am

When I lived in Ohio, I mowed my lawn once a week. The neighbor man across the street would mow withouth is shirt. He is one of the most handsome men I have ever laid eyes upon, not to mention he had a rockin body. I used to peek out my window and watch him mow. His wife and I were and still are close friends. She was aware of my infatuation with her hubby, but was not threatened. When I left Ohio he came over to see me and cried like a baby. He said, "I finally found my best friend and now you are leaving me." When his grandmother died, he didn't cry.

DustStormDiva


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