I'm Just a Little Annoyed....  

Juliet610 52F
802 posts
2/19/2006 6:05 am

Last Read:
5/29/2006 4:28 am

I'm Just a Little Annoyed....

One of the things I learned at the Pussy Party, from an ex-sister-in-law who is a teacher, is that the standards for graduation are getting tougher not only in our state, but throughout the nation as a whole. This is largely due to the No Child Left Behind legislation, which mandates 100% of the student population reach “proficiency” on standardized test by the year 2014. The problem is, no money was allocated to meet such demands, and the standard for proficiency varies from state to state. OK, so what does this have to do with my Blog? Glad you asked!

I said from the beginning that I may rant and rail from time to time, and the time has come. I realize I have only been here a few short weeks-–thanks again, Lacey!-–but I've noticed a disturbing trend, which I ran past the girls at the Party. They agreed with me, but fell short of a solution. The problem? In a word, LITERACY!

People, when you contact a person, do you read their profile at all??? Or do you see the pictures, MAYBE look at the headline, and get on with your agenda? My profile clearly states that I am looking for a soul-mate. Is that too difficult a word to comprehend? Does it have a completely different meaning here on the mainland than the one I learned years ago on the Islands? Did I miss the day they said it could also mean fuck-buddy? I don’t think so!

When a person says they’re looking for one thing, why on earth would you assume that because you are not looking for that same thing, but the person fits your general taste, that they would abandon their principles and jump at the chance to degrade themselves with you? (I told you I was going to rant a bit today!) I don’t care how good looking you are, or may think you are, if all you’re looking for is a roll-in-the-hay, or a no-strings-attached relationship, you’re not going to find it in me!

I have had the privilege of having connected with my soul-mate at one time. It was the most amazing, intensely emotional, spiritual, and physical relationship I have ever had. And for reasons that are beyond us, we are no longer together. But I don’t believe you are limited to just one soul-mate in this life, particularly when the relationship ends prematurely at the hands of fate. So I hope to find another soul-mate, but that requires that I be true to my standards, true to myself. It requires that I stay centered and listen to the still, small voice guiding me. And it requires I avoid guys looking for fuck-buddies like the plague. That’ll be the easy part!

expatbrit49 63M

2/19/2006 4:05 pm

I think most would agree that guys here dont actually read profiles they play the averages, mail a 1000 women maybe one will work.

Dont let it get U down

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

Jo451958 59F

2/19/2006 4:58 pm

My thoughts exactly and so well put. Honestly if they don't read the profile they sure aren't gonna get it here either. Once again an example of leading with the wrong head.....classic, typical male until you find one that honestly gets it. You go girl!

rm_1102wavedMy 61M
19 posts
2/19/2006 6:21 pm

To thy own self be true!
True love is not like a water faucet or light switch. It's a wonderful idea to fill that hole in your soul with yourself & get involved in something bigger than yourself.
I'll never be loved like I was loved by my Christy!!!
I went to sleep last night with her on my mind & I woke up with her on my mind. I guess that's alright, because we still love each other. I am alive, I will survive & God does love me!
I saw my baby girl at the Gym this afternoon. First time in eight years I did not go to her & say Hi; I miss ya'....
I know she is sad today because of that! It sucks!

BiKitsapGuy 55M

2/19/2006 9:18 pm

It is a sad fact the most of the men(and a surprising number of women) on this site feel that just because AdultFriendFinder brands itself as a sexually oriented meeting place they think that every lady on this site will abandond their standards for a quick, meaningless fling. Take a look at all of the men's profiles and see how many use a picture of their penis in various stages of arousal as they're intro picture. These are people that feel the best thing they have to offer someone lies below their belt. The unfortunate thing is, that there are some women on this site that actually fall for some of these one-dimensional characters. I know that you are strong in your beliefs and your standards. While your soul-mate may or may not exist on this site, I know you settle out of weakness.

BiKitsapGuy 55M

2/19/2006 9:20 pm

THE LAST LINE OF MY PREVIOUS POST SHOULD HAVE READ "I know you'll NEVER settle out of weakness". Apologies.

gussax 52M

2/20/2006 4:09 pm

Every woman on this site that is looking for a real relationship has the same complaints that you have. I don't think that there has been a profile that I've read that doesn't say something about guys not reading their profiles. I've have always read everything on a girl's profile, and always try to incorporate some of it in an email. For instance on your profile I might mention something about your Chinese sign a sanke being compatible with my sign which is also a snake. I might also mention something about you not owning a TV, and something about Romeo and Juliet, etc. and that in my heart I'm probably also looking for a soul mate. (See some men can read)

The fact remains that the ratio of men to women on this site is about 13 to 1, most of those men are players, and know that if they respond to a bunch of women even though 99% of them will have nothing to do with them, they'll hit on the 1% that will. They are not too concerned about the 99%. I'm just the opposite, being a person who doesn't really take rejection well, I only respond to those women who I think I might have a chance of starting a relationship with. My problem is that I have to compete with the other men on this site and with a ratio of 13 to 1 I don't have much of a shot.

Just a side note that not only do women get emails from men that haven't read their profile, but i also have gotten one. I used to have on my profile that I was just here browsing but wasn't really looking for anything, yet I still got an email from a guy asking if we could get together and he'd give me a blowjob in my car.

Juliet610 52F

2/20/2006 4:16 pm

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I have NO intention of settling for less than what I want. Been there, done that! Now that I'm relatively sure I KNOW what I want, I'm holding fast to my standards. And as Kitsap said, although this is a sexually oriented site (and thank goodness for that )I'm NOT going to lower my standards, even when the itch is really bad! It's simply not worth it to ME!

There's a poem my grandfather used to quote about the Man in the Mirror. (If anyone knows who it's by, let me know, ok?) Anyway, the point of it is to live your life with integrity, be able to look the man in the mirror in the eye, without shame or embarrassment. Regardless of which dating site I post my profile, I will always live my life with integrity, holding my head high. (Yes, I know, I can't do anything about that week in Cancun, but from that time forward, alright!) Okay, soap box going back into retirement now....

BiKitsapGuy 55M

2/21/2006 12:02 am

This wouldn't be the poem of which you speak, is it? It's by Paul Allen Rice.

As I gaze into the mirror,
a stranger's face I see
curiously looking back,
this person I call me.

Two ears, a nose, a mouth,
with stubble on my chin,
and staring eyes now locked
in a contest I can not win.

I look away, unable
to meet his gaze no more,
his scrutiny intense,
unlike any felt before.

But averted eyes do not make
reflections disappear.
Turn away I can, but can not hide
from the stranger in the mirror.

And so I stand and stare
at this face I know so well,
which stares back at me
from inside my private little hell.

He knows just what I am thinking,
every emotion that I feel,
all the realities within my life
with which I can not deal.

Remorse, regret, emptiness,
sadness, shame and lust,
and all my other feelings
to this man, I trust.

He is not just an image,
but a reflection of my soul,
of how I've lived out my life,
and how I pay the toll.

How often a smile do I see?
Or laughter in those eye?
If ever, then they were just
expressions full of lies.

Enough! No more! Go away!
With this image I am done!
I must fight these feelings down
until the battle has been won.

Now every day's a struggle,
and I come in here to see.
To look for any improvements
in this man that I call me.

And when the battle's over,
when the healing has begun,
I'll stare into his face again,
with the knowledge that I've won.

When all my doubts are beaten,
and I've conquered every fear,
no longer will I have to stare
at a stranger in the mirror.

rm_samson28XX 60M

2/21/2006 7:23 pm

I really at am a loss for words. Until I read the whole blog I could not have anticipated such I would find such discourse here. Then I remembered the quote from Shakespeare in your profile. The poem is beautiful. I have printed it and will put it on the wall. Will return when I get the chance. thnks to all

muffnut 53M

2/22/2006 9:46 pm

I hope your LTR turns out to be the best fuck-buddy you ever had If you can't share the spiritual and emotional then what good is the physical? (I was there not only the day that I heard that, but also the day that I experienced that we could share all those things in a relationship). I am not going to be a condescending butt kisser here (nor am I one anyways) nor will participate in male (or female) bashing but for those of you that perceive that men (or woman) are only interested in sex you are just as ignorant as your prejudicial thoughts. Sure there are some of BOTH sexes that are ONLY interested in sex, but I think that is pretty obvious from their profiles and pictures; and please let them be and share what they want. It is their choice, are you everyone's judge?
Are they contacting you or ranting about how “wrong” your LTR choices, serial monogamy and/or closed relationship are with respect to their point of view?
You are degrading what you seek, what you seek to share because it is certainly there but you view through such negative perceptions that you may never see what you seek to discover and share it. In fact you may have already passed by what you sought.
If someone contacts you that you don't want to know or share any further just don't answer them that is all you have to do. I have to do it a few times a week for whatever reasons, but we all have our preferences and choices, and I don’t flame them for their choices and preferences or their attempts at me. Just blow them off, and don't think more (negatives) about it or them!
The biggest reason I like this venue is because adults can be adults, sexuality in a relationship matters and compatible sexualities in a relationship really matters. I have shared enough friendships to hear that both men and woman may not match in intimacies of the other… I really want to avoid the situation where we grow a great relationship only to find the other is frigid or some kind of freak (yes, I am somewhere between). At least here we can express some of our sexual desires before we get into a relationship that won’t work into an LTR or whatever choices we seek.
Sure I get flamed, all the time! But at least I have the balls to write that not all men, or woman, are ONLY interested in sex and if they are that is their choice. And please don’t perceive that I am judging anyone’s choices.

Live now and be happy 

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