How I Became The Woman I Am Today  

JuicyBBW1000 56F
53 posts
6/15/2005 6:12 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How I Became The Woman I Am Today

Back when I was growing up things like domestic violence and child sexual abuse where family issues. Not the soceital issues they seem to be today.
I come from the classic dysfunctional family. My mother from the time I was born told me I was a mistake or an accident. And I took those words to heart and never applied myself to anything but being a failure for much of my life as I was growing up.
My dad was a monster he frequently beat my mom and when she finally couldn't take it any more she divorced him.
Little did she know he was sexually abusing me because as he told me when the abuse started this is a way a daughter is suppose to love her father. At first he would only have me touch his penis and then gradually he had me suck it for him and a few times after that he would lay me on the bed and rub his penis on me. He never penterated me though I guess he was afraid of being found out.
The after effects of both my mom's verbal abuse and my dad's sexual abuse lingered for many years later kinda like the smell of death in the local morgue.
When my father passed away I was 25 years old. I was finally able to tell what happened to me. I held it in for so long out of fear and out of some misguided twisted loyalty I had with my father. But I had to let it out otherwise the alcohol and the drugs I had been using where going to destroy me for sure.
So I checked into a hospital and sought drug and alcohol counseling and it was there that I learned that every defense mechanism I had developed were because of the things that happened to me as a child. Talk about being angry I was enraged because the people who where suppose to love and protect me from others where the one's who harmed me the most.

To be continued if AdultFriendFinder approves this post I will write more because I think everyone on this site might benefit from reading it.

rm_EE407 42F
3903 posts
6/16/2005 3:16 pm

Thanks for sharing...
and DAYUM, that's some story... my family ain't all that ... but less bad than yours....

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