Men: don't answer her!  

IrishKev 41M
1015 posts
8/17/2006 7:30 am

Last Read:
9/20/2006 2:34 am

Men: don't answer her!

1. "What are you thinking, darling?"
2. "Do you love me?"
3. "Does my bum look big in this?"
4. "Do you think she's prettier than me?"

What makes these questions so very lethal is that almost every man gives the wrong answer, leading to a major argument at best, or divorce and murder at worst!
For example:

1. "What are you thinking, darling?"
The correct answer to this question, is, of course: "I'm sorry if I've been a little pre-occupied, my angel. To tell the truth, (as if we ever would!) I was just reflecting on what a warm, caring, thoughtful, funny, intelligent, sexy and stunningly beautiful woman you are and what a jolly fortunate chap I am to have you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what we were really thinking about at the time, which was most likely one of the following:

a. Football
b. sex (but not with her).
c. How big her arse looks in that dress.
d. how much prettier the woman next door is than her.

2. "Do you love me?"
The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those who want to make sure the good woman gets the message it's best to be a little more effusive by replying: "Yes, my angel. You know I think the world of you." Wrong answers include:

a. "Mmm?"
b. "Would it make you feel better if I said yes?"
c. "That depends on what you mean by 'love." (Prepare to die...)
d. "Does it matter, darling? It's only a word after all." (This one will probably result in you sustaining serious injuries to the fleshier parts of your anatomy).

3. "Does my bum look big in this?"
This is probably the most difficult question of all. Whilst the correct answer is undoubtedly to confidently and quickly affirm: "No, of course not! You look simply stunning, my angel!" and then beat a hasty retreat, many men make the mistake of hesitating before answering. This is invariably fatal as a woman will pounce on the slightest delay and subject you to a full hour's rigorous interrogation during which she will try on twenty different dresses in the hope of catching you out. Inevitably you will break under the pressure and make the mistake of admitting "you look good in anything, darling." After that, you're lost. Wrong answers include:

a. "I wouldn't say so, but perhaps the blue one would suit you better..." (Oh shit...!)
b. "Compared to what?" (Almost as bad an answer as [a])
c. "I like a little meat on my women." (Prepare to have you bunny well and truly boiled)
d. "I've seen bigger ones." (this is the clever answer. Or so men think. If you use it, you're dead meat.)

4. "Do you think she's prettier than me?"
The 'she' in question could be an ex-girlfriend, a cute-arsed teenager you were staring at so hard that you almost drove under a bus, a page three slapper or the girl next door. In every case, the correct answer always is, "What - that fat ugly old slapper? No, you're much prettier, darling." Wrong answers include:

a. "Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.." (You might get away with this with some women).
b. "Beauty's in the eye of the beholder, don't you think?" (Nope. Not when she's asking, it isn't, chummy. You're dead meat!)
c. "Yes, but you have a much better personality." (Oh shit...)
d. "Only because she's a bit younger and thinner than you." (Prepare to die...slowly and painfully).


IrishKev 41M
1523 posts
8/18/2006 1:39 am

    Quoting blonde367:
    ..spot on,, the does my bum look big in this is a lethal question and we only say it to make men suffer x
Aye you do indeed make us suffer


IrishKev 41M
1523 posts
8/18/2006 1:42 am

    Quoting rm__susie1971:
    I hate myself everytime I ask "what are you thinking" .. and usually follow up immediately with "sorry.. don't answer that" .. whilst of course still wondering what he is thinking!
There is never any point in asking what someone else is thinking because they're never gonna tell you the truth anyway


IrishKev 41M
1523 posts
8/18/2006 1:43 am

    Quoting rm__susie1971:
    I hate myself everytime I ask "what are you thinking" .. and usually follow up immediately with "sorry.. don't answer that" .. whilst of course still wondering what he is thinking!
It's why we love you


amber3471 46F

8/18/2006 4:00 am

I just dont ask any of those questions safer that way on both sides

Axx


IrishKev 41M
1523 posts
8/18/2006 5:28 am

    Quoting amber3471:
    I just dont ask any of those questions safer that way on both sides

    Axx
Not as much fun though


Sulabula 46F
12659 posts
8/18/2006 6:05 am

Does my bum look big in this

Sula xxx

come visit my blog


IrishKev 41M
1523 posts
8/18/2006 1:46 pm

    Quoting Sulabula:
    Does my bum look big in this
You have to show first


CB_2 52F

9/3/2006 2:44 pm

So true, Kev. I'm not going to let any of the men I know see your post - that would take all the sport out of it.

Blogito ergo sum.


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