What's stopping me?!?  

Ijustwannablog 42F
12 posts
8/27/2006 12:22 am

Last Read:
8/28/2006 9:58 am

What's stopping me?!?

I lay here waiting for him to log back on... Images of him flow freely through my mind... when I least expect to think of him, I do... and I am always moved by the intensity inside of me... the passion... the fire... that burns within me! I have never met this wonderful and amazing man... and... yet... I feel like i know him better than any other... like we have been more intimate and shared more with each other then I have with others in the past... I have had both positive and negative experiences on line... but... none as intense as this... the only thing separating us is about 6,000 miles of ocean and my fear... Fear that is paralyzing... fear that stops me from going for my dreams... my wants... my desires! So as I close for the night, I am left to wonder... what is it that really is stopping me?!? Why don't I step on that plane and meet this love of mine?!?

rm_P1CKLE2 40M
1 post
8/27/2006 1:29 am

You are stopping you. And all that fear you are describing is more than likely making your body limp or parylyzed all over and it will be the same even when you step onto the airplane and go. Thats what you'll do because its in you and you trully want to. So GO! Or you can do as most people do, wait till your old and grey and the time to act has passed and now all you can do is wonder "what if?"...........GO!

rm_squeez66 51M
2 posts
8/28/2006 12:33 am

I agree with Erect Penis. (chuckling) Sorry brotha, I had to say it. I was reading your honest words and my eyes periodically looked at your image. I couldn't help but giggle.

No, but in all honesty, I agree with him. You'll never know and if you are feeling it viscerally then it may be the right thing to move on. Those kinds of emotional/physical reactions don't come all the time.

And I'm one to talk being that I'm a person who has avoided intimacy for the same exact fearful emotions--"What if it doesn't work out? What if I get there and suddenly the feelings aren't there?" "Am I deserving of a good relationship?"

I also fight that in my career. A lot of folks do and the fucked up or tragic reality is that there are a lot of people who never realize there dreams! That shit is real and tragic.

You gotta fight to work through your fears. As sexy as grey hair looks on a woman, my man is right, "...you'll be old and grey ..and the time to act is GONE!"

As Heroditus once said, "Great deeds are rought at great risks."

Just replace "deeds" with "relationships" or "intimacy" or "journeys" or "love" or "HAPPINESS"

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