Stupid Man Tricks Contest: The Return!  

IamWetFire 53F
739 posts
9/7/2006 5:12 pm

Last Read:
9/20/2006 3:14 pm

Stupid Man Tricks Contest: The Return!

Yes, Faithful Readers, y'all knew it was coming.

Sequels are the new black, after all.






Johnny Pardo. . .please introduce today's Jackpot Loser!

Ladies and gentlemen of our Blogland audience, we have yet another half-smart pantload coming to deliver unsolicited criticism via an email. And he wonders why his experience has been a negative one!



}}APPLAUSE -- LAUGH TRACK{{

Sender: A****R***
To: IamWetFire
Date: Sep 7, 2006 1:35 PM PDT

I understand that your experience on A. F. F. has been a negative one. Did you really expect anything else. For the most part A. F. F. is full of grade school dropouts, the chronically unemployed, sexual predators, and deviants of all kinds.

I have given up meeting someone and now am planning to compile a list of the best (and worst) profiles into a book. I am guessing that mainstream America will laugh itself silly over the profiles printed on this site.


(Name edited out to protect the moronic)




So, I went and explored this individual's profile to see just why he thought I'd enjoy his opinion about anything. Presto. Immediately apparent. My status as a. . .ahem. . .well-rounded woman undoubtedly traumatized him!

He has Erectus-Can't-Findus Syndrome in the presence of BBWs--whom he feels just can't keep up with normal women in bed. Well. . .at least he follows that noxious pronouncement with "sorry."

I have to agree. He is.

Yes, today's Jackpot pantload has a BBW-phobia. . .among other things, I'm guessing. To such an extent, in fact, that he lost whatever he might've learned from Buddha in his travels. All that peace, love and understand nonsense just fell slap out of his head when he clicked on my luscious, red-fox-fur-surrounded, bejeweled, and black-bra'd Orbs of Wonderment and read--at least--the part about my negative experience here. He was BBW-struck!

Damn. Ladies, don't y'all just HATE when you have that effect on men?

}}APPLAUSE -- LAUGH TRACK{{

I'm guessing he doesn't care that he is now destined by the Wheel of Life to be reincarnated as some SSBBW's heavy days feminine napkin. Doomed to learn NOTHING yet again from this mortal coil, and to be smeared with goop, rolled up and tossed away. . .his karmic burden for doing that to so many undeserving BBWs in his past life.

}}APPLAUSE -- LAUGH TRACK{{

Darling Mr. Pardo, please share with our Jackpot Loser, and tonight's audience, what he's won!



Hello ****** and thanks for taking the time to email.

Actually, I'm not a member of A. F. F, but Passion.com. . .which, according to what the FF sales machine would have one believe, is "sexy personals for passionate singles," and not a "swinger" or "alternative lifestyles" site.

I've found since rejoining however, that there now seems to be no distinction between the sites and A. F. F. members are allowed to contact me at will and without my prior consent.

Your assessment of the membership might be true in your area, but since I live near Seattle and in a Navy town, the men whom I've dated, thanks to Passion.com. do have advanced degrees, are military officers, work in the computer or aerospace industry, or own their own businesses.

There are perverts of course, granted. My ex-husband is one. He also has 3 Masters degrees, retired a highly decorated Naval officer, and is a perioperative nurse. Pollution seems to be present throughout the gene pool, irregardless of location, education or IQ apparently!

Oh, well. Since I pay nothing, I'm out nothing and do have enormous laughs thanks to the ridiculous emails I receive.

I'm enjoying the blogging experience and have made friends and had far more happy experiences meeting men via that venue. And it's always the perfect place to share with my growing readership just how asinine the online dating experience can be. Thanks for helping me do that today, ******! That was just darling of you!

It's just a shame you didn't learn more peacefulness and tolerance from your Buddhist experience, though. If you were more positive and less condemnatory in your profile, and as it's likely safe to guess, your emails as well, you might have gotten laid, or whatever it might've been you joined A. F. F. looking for. As it is though, your devotion to being a bitter, sour, judgmental old man has you alone again. . .naturally.

I would wish you luck, but I don't think it would be enough. Perhaps you should think of finding a nice fundamentalist Southern Baptist church to join. You'd fit right in!



Bonne nuit, vous avez chié mangeant l'idiot!

Fire



And yes, friends, it's been a bad day. This is but one of the shitheels I've fended off today, but the most humorous by far. He just should've thought twice before hitting that send button and. . .well, starting Fire!

There's a joke among my circle of best friends. On a previous post like this one, I used an avatar I'd found that was perfect. It was a metal sign that read, "DON'T START FIRE."



So now, my pals all use that phrase every time some mentally-lacking person crosses me. "Don't start Fire!" Bwahahahahaha Oh, how I do love it!



IamWetFire 53F

9/7/2006 6:50 pm

Thanks, my sister! Always trying to do my part! Thanks for dropping into the Grotto for a visit.

And I guess, for anyone who doesn't speak/read French, I should've translated my closing comment.

"Good night, you shit-eating idiot."



I know. I'm evil. But it's part of my charm!

~^~ ~^~ ~^~ ~^~
Et pour mes amis français : les insultes de merde sont les plus drôles


rm_mipapi829

9/7/2006 8:17 pm

"HI" after all he is shit-head
You needed to send him the meaning of the world idiot to him.
"mongalik" is a world, in calling an-idiot a dome fuck.
(you will not find-it on a dictionary)you will find the word mongo and like.
Is a polite way in caling an-idiot "mongalik'

For a smile go to my blog.

Martin


ZZ_Todd 60M

9/7/2006 9:12 pm

Well I would say that your excellent command of the English language either proved to him that not all of us are grade school dropouts... or it reminded him that he was! Way to go!


IamWetFire 53F

9/7/2006 10:49 pm

Thanks and welcome, Mipapi! I think my new hobby is to become a multi-lingual bitch!

And darling Delicious One (yes, I do know, mon cher. . .why do you think I keep saying it? ), thank you. I figured that little comment of his would've tweaked your tolerance a bit. It's one of the reasons I DID choose to stink up the place with his BS -- merde! -- because he was just begging for it with a line like that.

And, jackasses though they may have been, those Naval aviators and flight officers I've dated with their top secret clearances and multiple degrees in aeronautical engineering certainly don't fit in with his assessment either. I just enjoyed the living crap out of sharing that part with him. But, dang it all, I wish now that I'd told him that if what he said was true, all those guys with their fingers on the nuclear weapons got those high-end sheep skins out of a box of Sugar Frosted Flakes.

Theeeeeeeeeeeeey're, GREAT!

Yes. . .Fire is evil when properly (or improperly) provoked.

Oh, and BTW Delicious One, I meant it. . .you know where the airport is.


rm_Kingcat4U2 66M
2799 posts
9/8/2006 3:52 am

Damn, I think you smoked him, but GOOD, girl!
"Ahhh, There's nothing like the smell of
napalm early in the morning!" I think I can
smell his flesh burning all the way from here!


IamWetFire 53F

9/8/2006 4:02 am

I agree, KC. He's officially Blackened Jackass.

BAM!

Emeril would be proud of me.

Want I should add in a side of baked macaroni and cheese and red sauce with that?



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